THERE WAS IN FACT NO CATFISH IN THE STEW

A reader unkindly alerts me to several errors in recent blogposts, which, he feels, detract from my otherwise excellent site. He didn't actually say it was otherwise excellent, but that is surely why he did so, as their would be little point otherwise. Judging by his detail, he is an avid reader.
All writers should be blessed with him.
An attentive and informed audience.


To whit:

1) When I described myself as having a goatee, I contradicted earlier posts in which I mentioned that there was also a moustache. A goatee, he informs me, is JUST the beard, whereas such a beard combined with an upper lip furslug is actually a Van Dyke.
Both are evil looking, but the goatee much more so.
I should not create false impressions.


2) Stating that tomatilloes did not make chile verde green was, in fact, wrong. Tomatillos would indeed impart a greenish hue, and my point, he insisted, should have been clearly stated: a California chile verde, which is also the more common Mexican chile verde, was quite different from the New Mexican chile verde, that being the chile verde that did not utilize tomatillos, but relied just on green chilies for sauce and flavor.
I was clearly biased in favour of the New Mexican variant.
And profoundly hated beans.
Idiot.


3) In the interests of accuracy and honesty I should have clarified that Jillert Annema is not Dutch, but Frisian. Frisians were around before the Dutch were ever invented, and even the Romans feared them. Their unintelligible Theodesic language has an ancestry further back than English, Dutch, or German, and their patron saint is the missionary they slew at Dokkum.
These are important details; they add perspective.
My readers (if there are any) should know.


4) When I claimed that I "would be near the old church, loudly smoking a pipe filled with a stinky Latakia mixture", I was guilty of both suppressio very and suggestio falsi, in that many other posts in the past two years have made clear that I currently tend strongly towards Virginias and flakes (and actually, that is correct; I do smoke VaPers far more commonly now than Oriental blends).
Misleading people created false impressions.
It might, in fact, cause biases.
I should be aware.


5) My claim that I enjoy the Dutch poets is unfair to the reader, as I did not provide examples either in the original tongue OR in translation. Such an omission leaves a want that remains unfulfilled. He suggests that I rectify that. Sorry, no. I don't feel like it. Why turn great Dutch verse into bad English doggerel? There's far too much crap on the internet already.
I, too, have added to that.


6) I need to post more crow videos. That one which showed the Russian bird trying to steal a frypan was delightful, and there can never be too many youtube videos featuring crows.
Well, there probably can.
But here goes:

PROBLEM SOLVING

[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URZ_EciujrE.]


7) Postulating that there might be occasions when I flutter around the apartment naked was a disservice to readers everywhere. There is NO need to leave anyone with that mental image, no one wants to see a naked man. Indeed, I had said that I would not be naked most of the time, especially not during a San Francisco summer. But merely suggesting casual middle-aged male nudity was an offense, and would I please never do that again?

Well, I don't know. Personally, I think nudity in private is all right.
Irrespective of the gender of the free-spirited naturist.
Would you object if it was a naked woman?

There hasn't been such a thing in years.
But you can probably imagine it.

If women are, at times, naked, it seems rather blinkered to object to the concept of men also disrobing. The problem may be with you and your fertile imagination. So please DON'T picture me naked. Or any other trim middle-aged men. Of whom there may be many in this city. Who could be naked at this very moment. Early morning sun coming in through the window, illuminating their well-turned limbs, high-lighting their trim goatees, glinting off the spectacles that are the only thing they're wearing right now. Soon there will be the splashing, as a naked man ablutes.
An erect figure, surrounded by steam.
Lithe and glissome.

Moments later, a fierce towel-rub invigorates the skin.
Droplets fly, and wet wet feet smack the tiles.
A naked man goes down the hallway.
Please do not think of it.
Bare and fresh.
Yowza.



I like feedback from readers, I really do. I also like my beard, chile verde, Latakia mixtures (in addition to Virginias and Virginia-Perique blends), Dutch and Flemish Lyric, plus crows and ravens.
All of these things add joy to life.
Especially the Van Dyke.


But above all, I like nudity. One person, or two.
A naked man, or perhaps someone else.
Nudity is the cat's pajamas.


Feel free to comment.



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