Sunday, April 21, 2013

TOBACCO IS BENEFICIAL

A theme which has crept into my writing of late, like a whisp of second-hand smoke invading the nursery of an asthmatic infant from the deviant with a cigar in another apartment in the building -- two floors away and on the other side, just above the garbage cans -- is a profound dislike of marijuana. Even a revulsion towards cannabis, and all her aficionados.

This has irked a recent reader. Which was actually the point of the vociferization, and normally I wouldn't respond in any way, given that pot-smokers have very short attention spans and only cruise into this blog accidentally when they see something blinky while on facebook, but this time I might as well.

For the record: pot is not therapeutic, it's a drug.
Potsmokers are self-indulgent deviants.
Potheads are a waste of space.

Oh sure, pot alleviates symptoms of a number of ailments, because it can distract the patient, improve their appetite, and make them giddily happy. By that standard, rye whisky and sex are also medicines. Heck, so is heroine, and this too can be used for any amount of self-medication.
Spanking, for a fetishist, and torturing little animals, are no doubt also excellent in that regard.


The second-hand smoke from cannabis is quite the most offensive element on this planet, and the mere suspected presence of some selfish bastard (or bastardress) sucking down that disgusting substance fair makes my blood boil. Really, I long for the day when the cops would just put a bullet through their brains and dump their bodies with the radioactive waste out behind the community gardens. Pot, tie-dye, hippies, the grateful dead, and patchouli oil are all brain-poison, and should be smashed.

Instead of fighting useless wars bringing democracy to the psychopaths in Iraq and Afghanistan, we should have sent the Marines into the Emerald Triangle and turned the place into a waste-land. Eradicated all the damned potfarms and shot the natives. Planted miles upon miles sugarcane.
Killed them all and let the deity know his own.


Pot is a gateway drug that leads to pole-dancing, stripping, seduction of juveniles, and public onanism, whereas tobacco and cocktails merely inculcate good Christian values, hard work, and sober habits.

Why tobacco is despised is incomprehensible, and a great injustice.
Tobacco users contribute to society in many ways.
We also make great baby sitters.

Would you trust your toddler around a pot-head?
I think not!

Q.E.D.



In other news, San Raphael assembly member Marc Levine is a Yenta, the average young woman of this day and age is still messed-up, white-folks' tofu still stinks, Hello Kitty is a soul-sucking vampire, I'm wearing striped boxers, and I am presently smoking a fine old briar filled with pressed Virginia flake (and a touch of Perique).

Are there any questions?




TOBACCO INDEX



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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Why tobacco is despised is incomprehensible, and a great injustice.

They sure do love those tax dollars though. Almost drives a man to drink, the world's turned upside down. Embracing depravity, celebrating questionable social etiquette, while banning the use of a legal product. I will protest by opening a tin of G.L. Pease Fillmore.

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