GUARANTEED WOMAN REPELLANT
This is against my better judgement, because both during the smoke and afterwards the chances of women running away from me screaming hysterically are pretty much a safe bet.
Not that this has happened yet, but I know it is only a matter of time.
And seeing as I am still trying to lure a woman into my net ("come here, sweetie, you wanna smell like an off-shore oil-rig?"), you will readily understand that setting fire to a pipe-full of a tobacco mixture which is composed of all the foulest things in Christendom is not a good idea.
Certainly not a bright thing to do.
But it's very good indeed.
Weird man's tobacco.
Made by Cornell & Diehl, Inc.
A smooth blend of Cyprian Latakia,
Perique and unsweetened black
Cavendish. An all day smoke.
Yes, it is nice. Sooty, tangy, and sweet. An entirely black compound that includes absolutely nothing for the fairer sex, though the idea of a nice young thing smoking this in secret tickles me pink. She's no doubt blushing fiercely as she puts flame to the bowl. It's so delicious! But what will she tell her classmates? How will she explain the pronounced reek of burning tire?
"I fell into a smouldering garbage dump on the way to school..... nurse said that it will dissipate within hours, and it will probably NOT damage your DNA."
Rich, intoxicating, semi-full, and over all too soon. If this were my all-day blend, it might quickly pall. But as an occasional delicious perversion I can highly recommend it. It's a bit more brash than Dunhill's 'Nightcap', not as ethereal and civilized as Germain's 'And So To Bed'. Why either of those mixtures utilize an end of day metaphor is quite baffling, because like Sam's Blend, they are perfect for that first cup of coffee, although it would be considerate to wait till everyone you live with has left the building.
So probably the second cup of coffee. Make it strong.
A better breakfast than you've had in a while.
It needs a little drying out, and due to the Perique and black Cavendish it will still feel a bit moist, oily even. For something that isn't alleviated in the slightest by paler leaf, it has a surprising subtlety underneath the masculine machotude. Yes, I really can imagine a lovely young lady huffing on this!
One with self-confidence, quiet charm, and a devilish sense of humour.
A woman who reads books that her peers have never heard of, and concerning which their thoughts would consist of "whut?"
This is a fine way to start the day, for regular pipe-smokers -- you'll want something more nicotine-rich later, such as a full flake or matured Virginia, or better yet Greg Pease's 'Navigator' -- but if you are a sometime smoker, this could very well be your go-to tin. A tobacco to enjoy while perusing a book of poems by the Wicked Wasp of Twickenham.
Or Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, if you're into more sprightly stuff.
Spritz some attar of roses behind your ears afterwards.
Before you rejoin your parents downstairs.
Best wait until they're tiddly.
On sherry or port.
If they say anything at all, just tell them you were burning love-letters from an elderly suitor who has joined the priesthood. They should be used to your rare 'individuality' by now.
Or just plain scared.
Like many Latakia-powerhouses, this becomes a harder smoke at the end.
Renders a gritty medium ash, not particularly powdery.
Evenso, I recommend it.
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.