At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

WHEN RABBITS GO BAD

Sometimes you just don't know what they're thinking.  One moment they're in their cage placidly chewing a carrot, the next moment they're outside, brandishing the assault rifle which they mail-ordered from Second Amendment Psycho dot Com. It's part of their underlying cowardice that they do not go postal unless heavily armed. Encountering other housepets without an ArmaLite is just unthinkable.
Frightening, even.

Rabbits, fundamentally, are chicken.

Which is why they insist on the right to bear arms.

They're afraid that men in black helicopters are coming to take away their prized heavy weapons. But before that happens, they intend to scream and shout, and if possible blow some people up. Whatever it takes.
They're thinking of taking out the sheep.
As well as the cats.


Really.


Some of them drill secretly with face-paint and fatigues, off in the country side, collecting at camps in remote areas where they drink beer and pall around with other varmints. Every one watch out for old Pink Eye over here, he was with the Army during peace-time. That's why there was peace -- the Rooskies weren't going to try anything with the rabid rabbit guarding the frontier.

If this blogger had his druthers, gun sales to insane rabbits would be outlawed. Especially assault rifles and explosive devices. But the powers that be, in their infinite wisdom, decree that the right, nay, duty, of every red-blooded rabbit with masculinity issues to assert a fake sense of machismo be safe-guarded.
Better lock those cages, mama.  Don't want Thumper there to bust loose.
He's been unstable and neurotic ever since he failed school.
Most likely grammar school. He's a bit dim.
Likely inbred, too. He's a rabbit.
Bastard got issues.


NOTE: The post above is allegorical. That means it's not real. No actual rabbits are running around with guns in my vicinity, or smearing on the bright green face-paint and shooting at empty beer cans.
And I haven't seen the men in black helicopters for at least several weeks now.
If they exist, they're probably zooming over Texas and Oklahoma and the other road-kill states at this very moment, looking for freedom-loving wildlife.
The normal furry creatures consequently need not worry.
There's nothing in our water that turns people crazy.


I'm biting my tongue to keep from making a sneering political comment.



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1 Comments:

  • At 12:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Rabbits, fundamentally, are chicken.

    Indeed they are. The Department of Agriculture classifies rabbits as poultry

     

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