A DIFFERENT PARADIGM FOR FRIENDSHIP

My apartment mate is quite the chatterbox. Not with me, but with her boyfriend. It's rather surprising, as she's a shy person and not given to easy socializing.
In person, she's best channeling for the various stuffed animals, which gives expression to character facets which she otherwise could never voice.

But she sounded cheerfully happy, and very animated, while on the telephone.

She spent two hours conversing with whatsisname the other night.
This flabbergasts me, as I am not much of a phone person.
For me it's weird. For her this isn't unusual, though.

My idea of intimate conversation is different.

Hypothetical example 1.
Sweetheart, would you like a cup of tea?
Oh yes, I would LOVE one.
Good.
...

After which exchange I would go into the kitchen and brew a pot. Perhaps Assam or Ceylon, maybe a refreshingly brisk dose of Oolong or Titgoonyam. Then bring both the cups and saucers back to the bed, where the other person reclines (fully clothed, AND under the covers, because it is winter), reading a volume about a subject in which I may have expressed polite interest, without offering any opinions and insights. Unless the other person specifically requests feedback, the subjects of study or interest are things that they themselves can best digest.
Even if it's a shared knowledge set.

Hypothetical example 2.
Darling, are you peckish?
Indeed, are you?
Yes.
So what do you want to eat?
I thought we could try that restaurant on Powell Street where you said they had ginger scallion frog.
Okay, when?
Now.
...

See, it's a simple conversation, yet positively loaded with content and sheer layers of implicit statements. For one thing, there's a coincidence of appetites, with gentle reassurance regarding same.
That by itself is VERY promising.
The next thing you notice is reference to a prior conversational exchange, showing that there is both deep mutual familiarity as well as fond recollection.
And thirdly, shared culinary curiosity, similarity, and taste.
There may be something symbolic about the frog.
I haven't thought too deeply about it yet.
We'll cross that bridge if & when.
Please don't ribbit at me.
Frogs taste good.


I don't think that I could possibly spend two hours on the phone with someone else, beloved or not; I never quite mastered the use of the telephone as a social device. Nothing replaces face to face exchanges and the intoxicating presence of another person. Whether socially or intimately.

With someone you love, cuddling, kissing, reading while side by side, and eating together seem utterly natural. Also drawing funny little cartoons for each other, as well as simply enjoying the reassurance and giddiness of the other's presence.
Spontaneous smiles, hand touching, playfulness.

The phone seems distinctly cold.


It almost goes without saying that I do not text, have never acquired a cell-phone, and experience my best interactions in person.

Or, remarkably, through e-mail.



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