Friday, January 18, 2013

AN APOLOGY TO ALL MY GUN-TOTING NUT FRIENDS!

This blogger is truly sorry that he hurt the feelings of several readers of this blog; readers I didn't even know I had. And, consequently, may have lost.
Guys, please come back. I treasure everyone.
Especially folks with weapons.

I never meant to suggest that people who collect assault rifles and doll themselves up in warpaint and camouflage clothing were somehow deficient and barking mad. Far, in fact, be it from me, to even hint at the psychological deficiencies of men with small penises who make up for their lack of masculinity (and their various paranoias and psychoses) by assembling a vast arsenal of big, BIG, things that go bang! And really, not being able to find a girl-friend other than your mom's sister Gertrude who lives in the basement is no blot on your character.
By no means.


BANG! BANG! BANG! AND BANG! WHEE!

I, too, know the sorrow of being girl-friendless. And while hell would freeze over before I even think of dating your mom's sister Gertrude, I shall not question your decision to do so. Really. Both of you are lonesome and only semi-literate, you darn well deserve each other. Make each other happy.

I've learned my lesson. I now know the heartache and pain that passionate gun collectors are feeling at the current commie attempt to take away the one thing that makes life worth living: heavy ordnance.
America's liberty depends on people like you. As ever.
Can't write our nation's history without at least several pages on fire-arm violence and mass-murder. It's one of the most noble manifestations of our success as a society.
It shows how free we are.
Our best and brightest expression of superiority over the rest of the world is our easy access to vast amounts of guns and ammo.

None of this was completely clear to me before this morning.
The sheer eloquence of fervid enthusiasts is often amazing.


I sincerely appreciate your wise words of remonstrance.
They were something that I felt compelled to read.
A necessary but, for this blogger, difficult task.

Due to any number of spelling errors.



Once again, I'm furiously biting my tongue to keep from making a political comment. Just like yesterday. This blog is purely artistic in nature.



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3 comments:

e-kvetcher said...

http://washingtonexaminer.com/virginia-lawmakers-ak-47-sparks-gun-debate-on-house-floor/article/2518986#.UPmCMUbCz8A

The back of the hill said...

Good man. But in Virginia, the insanity is strong in some pilgrims.

Anonymous said...

As, indeed, it also is in New Mexico.

"Two adults and three children were found dead with apparent multiple gunshot wounds at a house near Albuquerque on Saturday evening."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21110435

Crap.

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