THE FRUIT OF SIN
The modern Hebrew word for apple, however, anciently probably meant apricot.
As in “comfort me with apricots, for I am sick with love”.
Neither one was widespread several millennia ago.
It is consequently not at all unlikely that the original fruit of sin was the banana.
FINDING A PISANG IN THE KAKUS
Several weeks ago one of the people who works at a café in North Beach discovered a perfect banana in the women’s room. Once his mind had digested this surprising find he started giggling uncontrollably.
And understandably so – why would anyone bring a banana to the crapper?
Who does that?
Obviously a very paranoid woman.
Instead of leaving her banana on her table, next to her tasty coffee drink, she hurriedly gulps down the last of the beverage and stuffs the banana under her arm or between her breasts, thinking “if I leave it here, one of these evil people will steal it”.
Or utter curses over it, or even use it for dark magic.
The point is that she knows, she’s convinced, that unspeakable acts will be done with her banana if she does not have it with her at all times.
A banana should never be involved in unspeakable acts.
Which is why it ended up in the bathroom.
Unpeeled bananas feel quite different than bananas that are naked. There are ridges and a hard knob at the end, along with a vestigial stem opposite.
The disrobed fruit is smooth, soft and velvety, and has veins that can be removed. The surface texture would feel marvelous to the fingers, except that it is moist and bruises easily.
Not so when you stick it in your mouth, however, it feels fine then.
Bananas are not entirely suitable for fruit salad. They are best on their own. Less likely to go gooey.
Some people prefer them greenish – a harder banana – and some like them overripe.
Personally I’ve always thought that softened bananas are truly degenerate.
I'd never commit anything nasty with a banana past its prime.
Anyone doing so is in fact unimaginable.
They’re too squishy.
I must therefore conclude that the woman in question went into the bathroom with a very firm banana, a prize specimen of full fruity bananahood.
A good plump banana, that other women could be mighty jealous of.
But just leaving it there afterwards is inexplicable.
Females baffle me.
The man who found it in the woman’s room is an Indonesian (hence the terms ‘pisang’ and ‘kakus’).
I wouldn’t be surprised if he could imagine unspeakable acts with a banana.
He’s got an active and fevered mind. A rich imagination.
And a knowing familiarity with bananas.
Personally I’ve always preferred peaches, pears, plums, and apricots.
There’s something sensuous about certain fruits.
Plump, firm. Smooth. Juicy.
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