ROWDY PROTESTS IN MY BED

The Sock Sheep has been importuning me lately, demanding that I provide him with slaves.
Normally I ignore such requests from the small roomies - the one legged monkey also wants slaves, plus a banana plantation, the senior Teddy Bear wishes my co-operation in her plot to whack Wheelie Boy plus some slaves too, and the purple cat would like a "drinkie!" - but in this case I am somewhat intrigued.
You see, the Sock Sheep particularly wants 'little Japanese girlies'.
He thinks they will adore him and fondle his floppy ears.
In addition to clobbering the other roomies.

Why, I asked, little Japanese girlies?
Simple, they are petite.

"Unlike huge Cantonese heffalumps, such as womanny thing here."

Methinks his focus is bent. The woman in question, Savage Kitten, is remarkably small by anyone's standards. She barely weighs a hundred pounds, and is shorter than me.
Even though we haven't been a couple for a long time, it is good still living with her, because she takes up so little space. Why, I can barely notice her.
What the heck is the crazy sheep talking about?

He seems to have this absurd idea that Japanese girls are far closer to his size (eight inches tall - he's made out of a sock), and that somehow they'll just adore him, and slavishly obey his every command.
Because after all he's the Head Sheep, and they'll respect his authority!

He's a bit like Cartman on Southpark.


The various roomies either cluster on my bed, or on Savage Kitten's.
My bed is larger and has more room, and hers normally contains the saner small critters.
What determines which roomie hangs out where seems to be whether they've said something particularly insulting about one of the others lately.
In the case of the Sock Sheep and the one legged monkey, it's pretty much guaranteed that they've thoroughly slagged someone, and have then fled the 'huge aura of menace' that resulted, ending up on my side of the apartment.

I'm much more hospitable towards the rowdies than she is.
Probably because I'm a nurturing individual.
Warm, caring. Very humane.
Firm, yet rational.
Maturity!

See, it takes a certain level of sanity and perspicacity, nay, sagaciousness even, to deal with riotous little anarchists and thieves.
A stable and balanced mind.
Which I have got.
Stuffing!

Now hush up you little thugs.
Or I'll sic the froad on you.


There will be NO little Japanese girlies here.



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