Tuesday, October 04, 2011

PERFECTLY ANTIQUE PERVERT

It's sad, but the younger generation appears to have a very narrow world view. There are so many things that disturb, disconcert or baffle them. And they utterly lack the intellect and curiosity of previous generations, so they just wander around in their dark little universes, querulently texting or tweeting, without actually any chance of their tiny little horizons expanding.
If they made the effort to read stuff, they might learn something.
I feel sorry for them.

The other day an acquaintance, reacting to one of my comments, said "dude, you're such a perv".
Then suggested that I saw everything in sexual terms.
Was there, in fact any part of the human body that did NOT appeal to me?

No. In fact there wasn't.
ALL anatomical details are attractive.

"Dude, you're such a perv!"

Thank you. High praise indeed.
Please read the Song of Songs sometime.
And really, all parts of a woman can tempt the hungry.
But only if properly advertised - description and fantasy go hand in hand.

Let us dwell upon your delicate little ears, soft and velvety. Your finely arched eye-brows, which furrow and dimple enchantingly.
Your smooth kissy-poo cheeks. Yum.
The slightly parted lips speak for themselves.

Your lovely chin, the elegant neck, the delicate maidenly shoulders......
In deference to your bashful modesty I shall not speak of parts of you that are covered, but I can tell much about you - even through the three layers of cloth, including denim, and the thick thick coat.
Trust me, I can imagine details which I have never seen, and deduce characteristics on the slimmest of evidence.
And the evidence is slim, deliciously so.
Those knees are charming. Do they dimple?

Mmmm, curvaceous thighs inside tight jeans, and tense round calves.
Probably the cutest little wiggly toesie-woesies!
Within those clunky Doc Martens.
It's all juicy.


A poet once expressed it thus:

手如柔荑
膚如凝脂
領如蝤蠐
齒如瓠犀
螓首蛾眉
巧笑倩兮
美目盼兮


Hands like soft grass,
Skin like congealed grease.
Neck like a maggot,
Teeth like pumpkin seeds.
Cicada-like forehead and moth-like eyebrows.....
Opportune smile, so winsome, oh!
Beautiful eyes, brightly expectant, oh!


That was written nearly thirty centuries ago. If I'm a perv, what does that make the ancient bard?
A man who can praise a woman by likening her neck to a maggot or grub, then wax ecstatic over skin like waxy cooking fat, why, that man is a genius!
As well as a veritable hero of ham sap.
Skin like congealed grease!
Smooth & creamy!
Baby baby!


==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================

7 comments:

Jacques Lévi said...

Dear Mr. BOTH,

It was with great interest that I read your post, several years ago, about the Tzigarrer Chasidim, and their Yom Kippur minhagim.

I'm looking for a shteeble of the Tzigarrer Chasidim (or perhaps of the related dynasty, the Inhalovitchers) for Yom Kippur this year. Perhaps you know of one near me? I live in the Marais, in Paris, near where Rue de Bretagne crosses Rue de Turenne.

Thanks very much -- very much appreciated.

Jacques Lévi said...

Nou?

The back of the hill said...

Mon cher Jacques Lévi, it may take a while.

Although, of course, the minhag of the Inademerim is largely a zeicher of the life breathed into Adam (and note the remarkable coinciding of sounds by their teitsche nomen), it appears that scarce a breath of them can be found on the internet. Research, perforce, must take place at the library - usually right next to someone whose lack of a shtrenge personal reinheits minhag leaves one gasping for air. Seldom has the phrase 'tzarich iyun' left me so breathless - almost like a giddy schoolgirl (though they seem to have fled his presence entirely, I think I heard sobbing feminine moans in several East Asian accents from the direction of the women's room).

Besides, it has been years since I pounded the pavement of the Rue Vielle Du Temple and similar streets in Le Marais - I'm afraid I'm not as familiar with the old swamp as once I used to be (though I did purchase me first kippah there). I suspect, in any case, that there are more Inademer in Antwerpen.
Forgive me.

Jacques Lévi said...

Do you think you'll be able to do the research in time for this Yom Kippour, and respond back to me on this comment-thread?

The back of the hill said...

'Fraid that might be a bit difficult. And given that Tzigarerei itself nowadays is in disrepute - something about exposing yingerleit in their yeshivos to tobacco smoke (another zeicher: 'a pillar of smoke went before them', as well as the fragrance of the beis ha mikdosh), it might be both apposite and appropriate to instead schedule it for sukkois - outdoors, and away from children, pets, and neurotic Berkeley healthnuts ("I can't go outside, my allergies, and have you SEEN the dirt in nature?!?!).

If I do find out something, it will be posted with a link to this comment string.

Jacques Lévi said...

Ah yes, if you do find a soucca of the Tzigarrer 'Hassidim in my neighborhood, please do tell me.

Jacques Lévi said...

I googled "Tzigarerei" -- no hits. Very strange.

Search This Blog

SAN FRANCISCO IS TOO DANGEROUS!

A few years ago, my regular care physician and I had an informative talk about kangkong (ipomoea aquatica), sidetracking from my tobacco use...