FINE CHINESE DICTIONARY PROSPECTS

You know, I really wish this hadn’t happened. Savage Kitten and me breaking up, that is. Our friendship is still there, and probably stronger than ever. But she is no longer excited by me romantically. That must have faded quite a while back. So I can understand why she called an end to those aspects of our relationship.
It hurts, but I’m glad we’re still so close.

Evenso. All facets of the relationship were still very much alive in me. That, I think, is why she hesitated so long before finally discussing matters. But she had to - letting things continue as they were would have been dishonest, and made her live a lie. And I could not have forced her to remain my lover.
It would have made us both desperately unhappy, and ruined what is, at heart, a beautiful friendship.
We are companions, and roommates. We are still the best of friends. No one knows me better.


Of course, a major problem is that I still think she’s one hot mama.

Yowza.

Lookin’ fine!


ACTING LIKE A GENTLEMAN – NOT ALLWAYS ACTUALLY BEING ONE, PLEASE UNDERSTAND, JUST DESPERATELY ACTING LIKE ONE.
IT'S THE GALLANT THING TO DO. KEEPING MY BRAIN FLEXIBLE, MY EYES OPEN, AND MY MOUTH SHUT.

I have to subdue certain feelings now. It would not be civilized to veer into what might be considered sexual harassment. And it would betray the complete trust we both have in each other were I to do so. We feel safe and comfortable with each other around, and we wish to keep it that way.
Living together as roommates necessarily means a certain blindness. At times just pretending I didn’t notice a darn thing.

Think of it as my foray into 'method acting'.

Seriously, I like having a roommate who trusts me completely.

Especially as I can often see her going down the hallway to bathe. I did mention that she’s one hot mama, right?
Damn’ good thing that I’m still not fully caffeinated at that time – a slim and shapely young lady in a state of undress is a beautiful thing to see, and a great way to start the day.
I do not flatter myself that I present a sight anything near as charming when I head to the shower.

I drink my morning coffee sitting up on my bed, so the view into the hallway is pretty good. No, I didn’t start doing that since the break-up, I’ve always done it. It’s just, however, that I now realize precisely how advantageous it is to sit there with a steaming cup and sleepy-looking eyes – never mind that they’re half-closed deliberately!

I may look like I’m not paying any attention, my dear, but I underneath these heavy lids I am absolutely pop-eyed.


PRIME VANTAGE POINT

I frequently sit on my bed, even in the early evening. Books are strewn on the side near the window, as well as small quarreling stuffed animals (the 'roomies': a one-legged monkey, two degenerate Teddy bears, a Steiff raccoon, and a small fat fluffy creature of indeterminate species – they have strong personalities and don’t always get along amicably).
It’s the perfect spot to read, or scribble in my notebooks. Or fight with the roomies

The other night she was in her room trying on some new high heels. Her legs, by the way, look fabulous in high-heels.

The only full length mirror is at the far end of the hallway, and the only way you can tell that pumps are just right is by walking in them, and posing with them in front of a full length mirror. See how they look coming and going. Turn just so, to observe how they look from the side, what they do to the lines. How they perk up the rump.
I’ve never tried it myself, but I am experienced in these matters, so I know whereof I speak.

It works even better when you’re wearing nothing but tiny pink panties and a tee-shirt.

That way you can see the entire line of the leg.


I had to go have a couple of stiff ones at the bar that evening. It was a sudden urge to enjoy the company of some other men, and some fine bad singing. Get some fresh air. Distract the mind. Smoke too much and utter startling exclamations. Dang it.
When I got back I spent three hours going through a dictionary of classical Chinese (University of Hawaii Press). Must have read many of the same pages three or four times. Yeah, that fascinating.


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