There have been some departmental relocations in the company of late, a shifting of people and desks.
[Why are we doing this? Well, at the end of the day, the synergies we are trying to leverage and shifting paradigms we are hoping to target should allow us to raise the bar, think outside the box and drill down to our core competencies. Or something like that. Kler, nu?]
The Accounting Department completed its move in record speed – we shifted entire in one morning, and had ensconced ourselves in our new digs well before lunch. We’re now very comfy thank you, our files stowed safely, our tchatchkes all positioned, pipes, books and wooden monkey placed just so, the stuffed armadillo regally overlooking the ebb and flow of traffic down the centre aisle and guarding our labours.
The Sales Department, also due to move, did so only when they realized that we had made them look bad. They grumbled, and smashed things in their fury. But they moved. It took them two days longer than Accounting, despite their move being absolutely the shortest in the company (Accounting’s move was the furthest).
They had more action figures that needed to be arranged for maximum effect, you see.
The Operations department, however, is balking. They do NOT wish to move. At all.
It will put them too far away from the head. And the kitchen. And the water supply. Darnit, they LIKE their space! They’ve got cupcakes and a refrigerator there! Its home! And besides, they are way too busy, what with having to……. Say, what do those guys do anyhow?
It would take very little time for them to move – just load stuff from their desks into boxes, and carry it down the hall, dump it on the new desks. Wheel in the chairs. Arrange their tins of tea, canisters of chocolate, jars of coffee, boxes of bonbons and other kibble, plus cups, saucers, cake stands, fancy trays, and other oh so essential Operations supplies in the appropriate and commodious storage devices already provided.
Nope.
Bitch bitch bitch. Bellyache, whine, kvetch, shrey, wail, and grumble. Postpone, delay, find excuses. The previous occupants left that section a mess! They didn’t finish moving their cheap shmatte out! There are scuff marks! Empty binders! Harsh lighting! It just isn’t right! Woe!
Yesterday one of them disinfected her new digs with bleach, stinking out the entire floor. Following which she hammered and banged things around for three hours. She vocally gnashed her teeth the while – I know, because my desk is within hearing distance (next section over).
Then the entire Ops department decided not to move until next week. Late next week.
Yes, I am looking forward to it. Honest I am.
It won't be so quiet here when they're finally in place.
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3 comments:
I'm in ops, and that is my red stapler.
Operations Department? Ironically, they are in charge of moving.
They sound like two flutists who were at a masterclass with me last summer in New York City. They took up so much time whining and making excuses for all of their playing problems and balk when told by the famous teacher how to improve.
One actually told the entire class how she had two nervous breakdowns and had to leave a graduate program in musicology after one semester. We'd never met her before and she told us all this before launching into her petty complaints.
Sounds like she ought to quit music and move to San Francico to work in the OP department.
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