I'm going to have to start watching what I eat. I just finished lunch, and already the gout is kicking in. My left foot is aching and swollen.
This isn't good - my coworkers already regard me as a borderline crotchet, I don't want them to think that they can get away with anything because I'm an elderly fossil.
Most of all, I don't want them to ever know that they can easily outrun me.
Nor do I want them to ever use a phrase like this:
"At the end of the day, the synergies we are trying to leverage and shifting paradigms we are hoping to target should allow us to raise the bar, think outside the box and drill down to our core competencies. "
What? What the intercourse does that actually mean?
Am I even in your demographic?
Fellow blogger Treppenwitz wrote that bushwa about synergetic paradigms and competent core targeting. Blame him. Had something to do with a bad night's sleep. He broke several ribs partying like a crazed biker bitch a few weeks ago, and has been swilling booze for painkillers ever since. Ongoing rum jag. Plus codeine and Red Bulls.
When last seen, he was on 101 at ninety plus miles an hour, targeting Keebler Elves with an assault rifle.
Lock your doors, mamas, he's pissed.
MORE FROM RANTING TREPP: ONE FOR EACH EYE DEPARTMENT
"I hate women who wear extremely revealing clothing who then act offended when my eyes go where nature demands they go. You don't want me to look at your boobies? Don't put them out where I can't help but stare at them. I'm married and relatively polite... but I'm not dead. "
Dude, I know where you're coming from. Hot dog.
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4 comments:
". . . partying like a crazed biker bitch a few weeks ago, and has been swilling booze for painkillers ever since. Ongoing rum jag. Plus codeine and Red Bulls. When last seen, he was on 101 at ninety plus miles an hour, targeting Keebler Elves with an assault rifle."
LOL
Have you tried colchicine? Works very well for Bad Cohen (Familial Mediterranean Fever, not Gout, but apparently it's primarily a gout medicine).
I haven't tried Colchine.
From Wikipedia: Colchicine is a toxic natural product and secondary metabolite, originally extracted from plants of the genus Colchicum (autumn crocus, Colchicum autumnale, also known as "meadow saffron"). It was used originally to treat rheumatic complaints, especially gout, and still finds use for these purposes today despite dosing issues concerning its toxicity[1]. It was also prescribed for its cathartic and emetic effects.
And: "Although it has been a generic drug for 200 years, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) gave 3-year marketing exclusivity to URL Pharma, in exchange for URL Pharma doing 2 new studies. URL Pharma raised the price from $0.09 per pill to $4.85, and sued to remove other versions from market." AND "As a drug predating the FDA, colchicine was sold as a generic in the United States for many years. In 2009, the FDA approved colchicine for gout flares, awarding Colcrys a three-year term of market exclusivity, prohibiting generic sales, and increasing the price of the drug from $9 to $485 per bottle."
The rest of the Wikipedia article is quite fascinating.
I suspect that simply reading this blog regularly would give one gout!
R
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