HELEN THOMAS: NEWS, NOUN, VERB, ADJECTIVE

By now you have probably seen the videoclip of Helen Thomas putting her foot in her mouth and biting down hard.


"Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine"

"Remember these people are occupied and it's their land, not Germany and not Poland"

"They can go home, Poland, Germany, and America and everywhere else"


This is not some inbred European ultra-liberal, nor a devolutionary throwback like Ahmedinejad speaking. This is one of the sharpest tacks in the Washington toolbox.
Helen Thomas has had an illustrious career as the liberal reporter baiting presidents in their den for decades. She's still smart as a whip, despite being older than Adam.
A real sharp cookie, right on the ball.

This was no senior moment, either. Go ahead, look at that clip again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQcQdWBqt14&feature=player_embedded

That she resigned her job with the Hearst corporation this morning, and posted an apology for her remarks, is cold comfort.

Now she can say whatever she wants about Jews and Israel, while blaming the Zionist lobby for forcing her to quit.
She could, perhaps, take a post with Tikkun Magazine in Berkeley or Hamas Television in Gaza - either would be glad to have her.

She may also enter the modern vocabulary.



THE HELEN THOMAS THING


Helen Thomas
Noun. Definition:
1. The inadvertent spilling of one's true feelings about an ethnic, racial, religious, or cultural group. Usually negative.

Examples: "Man those Lebanese Americans piss me off." "I'm surprised the Irish boat got anywhere near Gaza, drunks usually can't navigate; they must've been on auto-pilot." "All of the Turks are vicious swine, not just their violent peace activists."

2. The apology for saying something offensive in an unguarded or unmedicated moment.

Examples: "What I meant was that Lebanese Americans are such forthright people!" "Let me be the first to admit that the Irish have many fine qualities!" "After all, everyone knows the Turks are still better than the Greeks."

3. Unguarded moment of candour.

Examples: "Whenever he drinks too much, he pulls a Helen Thomas." "Erdogan has been afflicted with Helen Thomas several times since he was elected." "Oh crap, another Helen Thomas from Ahmedinejad!"

4. Something one deems foul or unpleasant.

Examples: "The accommodations at the caravan-saray were Helen Thomas." "Irish cooking? Nothing but boiled Helen Thomas!" "Let us not talk about Turkish Helen Thomas."

5. Liberal with some startlingly primitive or ridiculous ideas.

Examples: Alice Walker. Daniel Bernard. Noam Chomsky.


Verb. Definition:
1. To say something stupid and offensive.

Examples: "I'm sorry I Helen Thomassed all over the Lebanese Americans just now." "He shouldn't Helen Thomas at the Irish the way he does." "The Turks are still furious over American bloggers Helen Thomassing about them."

2. To apologize for an ignorant or bone-headed utterance.

Examples: "He Helen Thomassed for his generalizations about Persians, terrorists, and Lebanese Americans." "I would like to profoundly Helen Thomas to the Irish for implying that they're drunken sots." "The Turks refused to accept his heartfelt Helen Thomassing, and issued a fatwa."


Adjective. Definition:
Unfavourable description of an utterance or statement.

Examples: "That was the most Helen Thomas thing I've ever heard!" "That statement was horribly Helen Thomas." "Whenever Ahmedinejad opens his yap he says something Helen Thomas."



Once more, watch that Helen Thomas clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQcQdWBqt14&feature=player_embedded

Find new ways to use the word. Enrich the English language. Express yourself.

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AFTERTHOUGHT

To any Helen Thomasses among my readers who are offended by my having committed Helen Thomas, I offer my sincerest Helen Thomas.
May none of you EVER Helen Thomas so Helen Thomasly as Helen Thomas Helen Thomassed.

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