Envy is actually a warm glow. I discovered this upon reading Treppenwitz's latest posting. I've always been rather envious of the popularity of his blog, though I realize that that is due to Treppenwitz actually being a better writer, in addition to being a nicer person, than myself. I am not very nice. I do not have what it takes to be nice.
[I will freely admit to having a talent for wishing ill on other people, most particularly members of JVP, AlAwda, MECA, and several other organizations that I despise, along with several Dutchmen, several politicians, and a whole host of others. My ill-wishing is not particularly detailed, however. I do not dwell on the nature of the ill I wish, merely on the fond hope that it will happen soon and in our days.]
Today that envy became a warm glow. Being a better blogger has a down side: obsessive commenters.
I merely have the occasional confused Japanese reader who posts links in the comments field to a Tokyo rent-a-porn site whenever I mention manga or anime (or sweet little Asian teenage lesbians - they're so cuuuute), and sometimes a lost dildo salesman sees words like virgin or deflate in close conjunction on my blog, and decides "hey, this looks like a good spot for a smut ad" underneath a post.
[Warning to my more innocent readers. Any link that looks baffling in a comment, on any blog, not just mine, could lead you right into the salesparlour of a dildo emporium. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
And judging from the enormous variety of dildoes available, there's clearly a huge demand. Otherwise there would not be a dildo for every conceivable..... "taste".
In Thailand you can buy big red lacquer dildoes of impossible size, inscribed with a Buddhist good luck charm. And some hefty antique Japanese dildoes are clearly meant for display rather than hide and seek. So if that tickles your fancy, good for you. I hope that by happily point-and-clicking you find precisely the right dildo - one that makes you supremely happy and fullfilled.
I wish I could give you some recommendations, but my experience with dildoes is somewhat limited. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.]
But Treppenwitz has an obsessed commenter (hence my glow - I am entirely obsession-free). A prolix problem-gefal. To whom he addresses the following letter:
Dear treppenwitz reader/commenter (you know who you are),
After reading the many comments you've posted here and around the blogosphere over the past two or three years I have to make the following observations:
When a comment is longer than the blog post that inspired it there is something wrong. Also, you seem to go out of your way to pack as many unrelated topics and opinions into each comment as is humanly possible (please don't take that as a challenge). This is (IMHO) an abuse of the commenting privilege. It tires and annoys readers who are trying to follow the comment thread in order to possibly contribute something of their own to the topic at hand.
By hijacking the thread with a wandering, unsubstantiated filibuster, you seem to be deliberately trying to derail all intelligent discussion. There are several sites offering the opportunity to set up your own personal blog for free. Failing this, there are also plenty of blogs out there where people are encouraged to rant... but be assured that mine is not one of them.
We get that you think Bibi is a criminal, although you seem to be a tad light on evidence (again, not a challenge... just an observation). You make reference to this in nearly every comment you leave here and elsewhere in the blogosphere... regardless of the topic at hand. If this is your signature tag line please excuse me for cramping your creativity. But if you are simply unable to focus on the current topic, I suggest you sit still for a few minutes and wait for the Tourette-like urge to type "BIBI TAKES BRIBES" in all caps, to pass.
Lastly, I can appreciate that you are happy over there in California, but in nearly every single comment and email you have sent you have criticized multiple aspects of Israel as compared to the US. Treppenwitz is an Israel-based blog about life in Israel and all things related to Israeli culture, politics and society... warts and all. Please try to be sensitive to the fact that many people have different priorities in their life than you do.
I have written to you privately (multiple times) in the past about all of these issues in an effort not to embarrass you publicly with my comments or criticism. You are a big girl and should not have to be subjected to public scolding. But by the same token, I am a big boy and do not need to have my handiwork hijacked and/or derailed... which is precisely what you have been doing.
In conclusion, feel free to read and comment... you obviously have many interesting viewpoints. But please wait until the topic of one of my posts actually coincides with one of your viewpoints before offering it up. By showing this small courtesy you will avoid making the reading/commenting experience at treppenwitz unpleasant for others.
Thank you,
-------The Management
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The letter is well written. So I decided to paste it here in it's entirety. To share in some of the glow (and because I really have little to say at present). The original is on Treppenwitz's blog (http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/ this post: http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/2008/05/i-hate-that-thi.html ) which I visit on a daily basis.
I do not always leave comments there, because, as I may have indicated previously, I do not write as well as he does, and I actually have very little to contribute to some conversations (which is why I let Treppenwitz's letter do most of the talking today). I encourage you to visit his blog. You will find NO mention of dildoes there. But I assure you that you will not be displeased - unless davka the dildoes ARE your thing, in which case you probably shouldn't be here either.
This blog hardly ever mentions dildoes, though cuuute little Asian teenage lesbians are a frequent theme.
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14 comments:
AWESOME.
Best letter ever. :)
Speaking of which, did I meantion that in a letter I wrote to Shimon Peres last week I made sure to tell him that BIB TAKES BRIBES, as of course we all know that he's a criminal, which is why he lives in Israel. Criminals are happier there, in their natural element. Here in the US, we have no crime, largely because of our large and multiple jails.
ok, sorry, don't have the stamina to make this comment longer than the post.
btw - I have a new post up. With pictures.
Fishing?
Tzipporah - great comment. Not nearly long enough, though, and it lacks a Venn diagram. As well as haphazardly placed graphics, obsessive tangents, and a superfluity of majuscule.
Spiros - what on earth gave you that idea?
Virgin - deflated - virgin - deflated - virgin - deflated; dildo dildo dildo. Ervaaaaaa!
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Helloooooo Japanese porn trolls, are you listening? Helloooooo!
Why are asian teenage lesbians cuter than european or n. american teenage lesbians?
better artwork mebbe?
Graham
Graham,
The artwork for the two-dimensional version is indeed better.
For the three dimensional version, Asian teenage Lesbians are less likely to be "large", less likely to wear fishermen's sweaters, less likely to have tattoos, piercings, and far less likely to have MÖtÖrhead tee-shirts (ripped, stained, chained, or otherwise).
Rather than looking deliberately pugnacious and unapproachable, they are more likely to have an unreadable, innocent, "I don't know WHAT you could be thinking" look on their faces.
I think "dildo" might be a bit antiquated (or quaint, if you are etymologically inclined) for the purposes of your fishing expedition.
As chum, "Vibrator" might work better.
Dude, you are wll on your way to becoming the next Henry Darger :)
yup...
When the blogmeester writes Asian teenage lesbians - I've a feelin' that he actually means pubescent Japanese schoolgirls.
just want to pin His Blogness down a little.
American Cheerleaders? anything a-hopping with pom-poms from southernmost Chile to north-to Alaska? - or do we limit it to english speaking blondie bounciness?
How does His Blogness relate to raven haired, sweetly tanned Merkava drivers with curves where they should be?
Graham
he actually means pubescent Japanese schoolgirls
Post-pubescent. But young and fresh.
How does His Blogness relate to raven haired, sweetly tanned Merkava drivers with curves where they should be?
His Blogness goes all deliquescent at the thought. Most especially if the tops of their heads are within sniffing reach.
And some hefty antique Japanese dildoes are clearly meant for display rather than hide and seek.
Such as the ones shown on this page - it appears to be a site devoted to a dildo festival, or a fertility cult.
Sorry.
This page:
http://www5a.biglobe.ne.jp/~dai_/diary/timko2004.htm
This, too, is a page devoted to giant dildo festival photos:
http://www.japan-photo.de/frucht.htm
It appears very staid and 'normal'.
That's more about Japanese giant dildo-bots than any sane person needs to know.
Giant dildo bots? For such small women?
That just ain't right!
---Grant Patel
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