NICE ERVA GETS VERY FAVOURABLE ATTENTION

Apparently my recent disquisition on ervat pleased several readers. They gave it high marks over on J-blog central. The votes put it up there with my most popular posts. People liked my erva, and I flatter myself that it tickled them. The post, that is. Not the erva. Not having seen these readers up close, it is quite likely that I do not want them anywhere near my erva.
And likewise, you neither near yours.


I hasten to clarify - the word being discussed is not the city of Erva in Iran, nor the line of designer handbags named Erva, but the erva of 'kol isha erva'. In the stricter sense erva means the feminine reproductive part, all that tempts twixt the wine-cup of the navel and velvety inner thighs, and in the wider sense it can mean temptation, sexuality, lust, and procreative behaviours and thoughts thereof. Nakedness, unmentionable parts, and pudenda. Exposure of the pillow part. The part we shall not mention, in all its radiant glory. The cupfull that runneth over, oh my, and gasp.
[If 'kol isha erva', how will they ever cope with a bas kol?]


In the same way that the voice of a woman is temptation ('kol b'isha erva'), the term erva itself calls forth pleasing associations. I am not familiar with the environment of typical Chareidi teenagers in Flatbush, but I fondly imagine them secretly listening to famous opera divas while whispering the word 'erva' to themselves late late at night.
It seems so innocent. So sweetly zesty. So deliciously depraved.


Erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva!
Or, softly whispered: erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, erva, ervaaah!


Of course, if you are a well-brought up Gentile reading this, you could instead repeat the word pudenda for the same effect.

Pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda, pudenda!


Meh, not quite the same, but close.
Was it good for you?

How about 'muliebre'?
Better?

Somehow, none of the currently popular hot Hollywood babes make one quiver so. Not Paris Hilton, not Britney Spears, not Sarah Jessica Parker or whatserbucket Dushku, Aniston, Cox, and Kudrow. Despite the spambots who flood me with offers I cannot refuse, I have no burning desire to see these women naked. But I'll happily mutter erva or pudenda to myself for hours on end. It gets me through the day.