I am in receipt of an e-mail that brings a smile to my face. Partly because of an orthographic element - double vowels are used a lot in Dutch, and Dutch is the first language I learned to read and write - and partly because the message itself is just so darned funny. Made much more so by the orthography.
-----Original Message-----
From: hershelcmcKnight_ih@usit.net [mailto:hershelcmcKnight_ih@usit.net]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2008 8:49 PM
To:
Subject: very CheapPrice Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate dip1omas arcf u3lyw53a
We can assist with Diplomas from prestigious universities based on your present knowledge and LifeExperience
No required examination, tests, classes, books, or interviews
Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate diplomas available in the field of your choice -
that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits that comes with it!
No one is turned down
Confidentiality assured
CALL US 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK
For US: 1-309-407-3749
Outside US: +1-309-407-3749
"Just leave your NAME & PHONE NO. (with CountryCode)" in the voicemail
Please call today!!
=====================
My gratitude to Herschel McKnight <mailto:hershelcmcKnight_ih@usit.net> knows no bounds.
Now all I need to do is invent a field of my choice, and I'll be all set to receive all the benefits that "comes with it".
Got any suggestions?
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A DUMPSTER FIRE OF TWITTERY
Often while at work I get to hear the sour old dingbats in the backroom spouting Republican drivel and venom. Which does not leave me positi...
14 comments:
You are so in luck.
The offer's still up.
See below.
Bob
-----Original Message-----
From: p.manley_eu@ey.com [mailto:p.manley_eu@ey.com]
Sent: Wednesday, April 02, 2008 11:40 PM
To: woods@
Subject: very CheapPrice Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate dip1omas pevi necg6
We can assist with Diplomas from prestigious universities based on your present knowledge and LifeExperience
No required examination, tests, classes, books, or interviews
Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate diplomas available in the field of your choice -
that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits that comes with it!
No one is turned down
Confidentiality assured
CALL US 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK
For US: 1-309-407-3749
Outside US: +1-309-407-3749
"Just leave your NAME & PHONE NO. (with CountryCode)" in the voicemail
Please call today!!
hmm. Nerf herder?
-----Original Message-----
From: clarkperezfw@shentel.net [mailto:clarkperezfw@shentel.net]
Sent: Tuesday, April 08, 2008 4:48 AM
To: jacobs@ - - -
Subject: very CheapPrice Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate dip1omas dwmwctgs myp76h20
We can assist with Diplomas from prestigious universities based on your present knowledge and LifeExperience
No required examination, tests, classes, books, or interviews
Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate diplomas available in the field of your choice -
that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits that comes with it!
No one is turned down
Confidentiality assured
CALL US 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK
For US: 1-309-407-3749
Outside US: +1-309-407-3749
"Just leave your NAME & PHONE NO. (with CountryCode)" in the voicemail
Please call today!!
-----Original Message-----
From: tjonesdy@webupright.com [mailto:tjonesdy@webupright.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 08, 2008 11:47 AM
To: medina@ - - -
Subject: very CheapPrice Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate dip1omas fed 1dx7hy21o
We can assist with Diplomas from prestigious universities based on your present knowledge and LifeExperience
No required examination, tests, classes, books, or interviews
Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate diplomas available in the field of your choice -
that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits that comes with it!
No one is turned down
Confidentiality assured
CALL US 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK
For US: 1-309-407-3749
Outside US: +1-309-407-3749
"Just leave your NAME & PHONE NO. (with CountryCode)" in the voicemail
Please call today!!
-----Original Message-----
From: francinembradley_sw@webupright.com [mailto:francinembradley_sw@webupright.com]
Sent: Saturday, April 05, 2008 10:45 AM
To: chavez@ - - -
Subject: very CheapPrice Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate dip1omas xduijhw r6xb1n
We can assist with Diplomas from prestigious universities based on your present knowledge and LifeExperience
No required examination, tests, classes, books, or interviews
Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate diplomas available in the field of your choice - that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits that comes with it!
No one is turned down
Confidentiality assured
CALL US 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK
For US: 1-309-407-3749
Outside US: +1-309-407-3749
"Just leave your NAME & PHONE NO. (with CountryCode)" in the voicemail
Please call today!!
-----Original Message-----
From: Earnestine Meier [mailto:MarciechineseNava@moon.com]
Sent: Saturday, April 05, 2008 7:27 AM
To: Credit
Subject: Get nominated for a Degree
Call to register and receive your qualifications within days!
Do you have the knowledge and the experience but lack the qualifications?
A prosperous future, money earning power, and the Admiration of all.
4820262553
-----Original Message-----
From: Edwina Root [mailto:SuzettecancellateTovar@milliondollarhomepage.com]
Sent: Saturday, April 05, 2008 3:52 AM
To: Credit
Subject: MBA-Degreees not for sale- get it.
Move ahead in your career today!
No examinations! No classes! No textbooks!
Move ahead in your career today!
+1 267_482_2553
-----Original Message-----
From: Garry Reese [mailto:LorenquadricepsRodgers@dailyherald.com]
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 2:38 AM
To: Credit
Subject: Get nominated for MBA
Bachelors, Masters, MBA and/or Doctorate (PhD)
You Need a Better Degree, and we can Help!
Bachelors, masters, MBA, and doctorate (PhD) diplomas available in the field of your choice - that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits and admiration that comes with it!
(1-267-482-2553)
-----Original Message-----
From: Lidia Randle [mailto:MiapalomarBeaver@humphreysconcerts.com]
Sent: Saturday, April 05, 2008 12:38 AM
To: Credit
Subject: Nominate someone for a degree
No required tests, classes, books, or interviews.
NO ONE is turned down.
F A S T T R A C K D E G R E E P R O G R A M
267-482-2553
-----Original Message-----
From: Dannie Good [mailto:HilariovestalRatliff@learningleaders.org]
Sent: Thursday, April 03, 2008 12:58 PM
To: Credit
Subject: Your Degree shipped by Fed-Ex
Start improving your life!
Obtain degrees from Prestigious non-accredited Universities based on you life experience.
U N I V E R S I T Y D I P L O M A S
1-267-482~2553
Okay, that ought to get you all the qualifications you need.
Thanks for the inspiration.
I saved them up.
Sincerely,
Bob
After all this encouragement, how can I not take up one of these kind and appreciative offers of a degree just for the asking.
I may require a PHD in "multi-syllabics". Sounds about right for a man of my stature.
Thanks, Bob, for all the listings (and their e-mail addresses).
And thanks, Tzipporah, for the suggestion. That's my minor. How did you guess?
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