RANDANGAN

I thought of naming this post 'bowel cleanser and artery clogger'.
Then I realized that might put you off, and I decided against it.
Just thought you should know.


An hour ago my boss and I were discussing the lunch plans of one of our coworkers. This lead inevitably to the farewell luncheon for another coworker, which all of us attended yesterday. I remarked that I was surprised that XXX had ordered yellow curry - he's very health conscious and does not eat fattening foods. Yellow curry, as you probably know, is made with lots of coconut milk. Perhaps XXX did not realize that coconut milk is choc-full of fat.

Coconut milk, along with bacon, gehakte leber, and roast duck is proof that someone out there does not want us to enjoy what we eat. Either that or suffer consequences.

[For roast duck, see here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2005/11/siu-ngaap-roast-duck-cantonese-style.html ]


On the other hand, what if certain foods came with a built-in control on over-indulgence? Something that kept you from eating more than you should?


RANDANGAN
[Seethed meat]

Twenty pounds of cubed water buffalo.
An amount of chopped Thai chili of slightly greater volume than the meat.
Twenty stalks lemon grass, whacked with a rock to bruise 'em.
Twenty teaspoons of turmeric.
Twice as much ground coriander seed as turmeric.
Garlic and ginger - use your own judgment.
A few pinches salt.

Put everything in a deep pan. Add coconut milk to cover very very generously. Plus some. Simmer till the coconut milk is entirely taken-up by the meat and the oil comes out. Remove the lemon grass at this point. Turn the heat up a bit, and frazzle the meat chunks in the oily paste to seal them. Serve at a feast when the harvest is in or your daughter gets married to the hadji in the next village over.

Now, the alert reader will have already started wondering about the amount of chili. The chili is the control mechanism - more than one or two chunks of this dish may prove dangerous to your equilibrium. Seeing as the meat will be suffused with a rich greasy coconuttiness, you can well imagine what an excessive amount would do to your arteries. The chili prevents you reaching that point.

If you do not regularly eat spicy food, decrease the amount of chili as you see fit, but keep it spicy.


Note: Diners who keep shtreng kosher should grate their own coconuts and make their own coconut milk with the gratings - the nut is sealed, ergo there is no chance of dubious inclusions. You might want to avoid lemon grass also because of the shrotzim issue. Throwing in some dried tangerine peel (large pieces, bought in Chinatown) works just as well, and is beneficial to the internal organs, though the taste will be different. Or omit, as some cooks do. The turmeric is essential, both for flavour as well as colour. The proportion of coriander to turmeric is standard in many dishes.


Further note: No feast is complete without a bittermelon dish. Cut the bitter-melon in half, scoop out pith and seeds, slice thinly and strew salt over. Set to drain. Two hours later squeeze, rinse, and repeat. Drain, pat dry, and add some chopped tomato and scallion, plus a drizzle of olive oil. Or you could cut the bittermelon into chunks after de-seeding and de-pithing, and cook it like any other vegetable. Be aware that white people at your banquet may be dismayed by the bitter taste.
Just give them lots of beer and they'll shut up.