Friday, September 07, 2007

K'MENTIOS ZITZERS

I can not resist the lively market place of ideas and bile that is the blog of the bear. It's a compulsive thing.


And he has the most diverse readers, too.

Including, chos vay forefend, Christians!


Follows a SMALL cherry-picked sampling of comments appended to a recent Dovbearian post about Mother Theresa and her crisis of faith, as recently revealed in published letters.
[This post: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/09/blurring-line-between-god-and-jesus.html]

Within mere seconds in blog-time, the comment-thread degenerated into a Christian love-fest. An odd developement, but like a nudist train-wreck, fascinating to watch.

We'll start with Lipman, who commented before the Christians crawled out of the woodwork:


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Catholic or Jewish, there's certainly a fundamental difference between saying there is no God (or god, or 1/3 god), and being brouges with it (or him, or a fraction of them).

Writing this, I'm sure there are traditional ways of combining this, for instance if she (hypothetically) didn't believe God/Jesus was benign, one could equate this with a denial of god (3/3 or 1/3) as taught by Catholic doctrine. But that would be pilp-, sorry, Jesuite sophistry.
Lipman Homepage 09.06.07 - 1:20 pm

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MT rejected the son. (or didn't feel the sons presence or whatever)

WHAAAAAAT???? A MOTHER rejecting the son?

Has child services been notified?

If I were MT I would cede custody to the father, hope to never see the little bastard again and never look back!
The Bray of Fundie Homepage 09.06.07 - 2:53 pm #

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Enough already with the Jesus shtoos ...


OFF TO WATCH ANOTHER RERUN OF "MY MOTHER THE VIRGIN" ON THE CATHOLIC CHANNEL. TODAY'S EPISODE: POPE BENEDICT IS CAUGHT ON VIDEO SUREVEILANCE IN A JEWISH DELI IN ROME DURING LENT AND CONFESSES TO AN ADDICTION TO KOSHER SALAMI.
Abe 09.06.07 - 5:10 pm #

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Did I miss something, or did this suddenly turn into the I Love Jesus website? Why should we waste our time talking about this illegitimate son of a hair dresser
baruch 09.06.07 - 9:35 pm #

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What is the role of Jesus in Judaism? I was born a Jew and later found the Lord. Most Jews do not seem to be knowledgable as those posting on this blog.
Jonathan 09.06.07 - 10:16 pm #

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Jonathan,
There aren't enough crackpot sects among our Jewish bretheren that offer you rapturous invitations to lunacy? I mean if you can't resist worshipping dead people, consider Lubavitch or Breslov. At least you'll remain in the tribe.
Abe 09.06.07 - 11:18 pm #

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Yep, that's what they always say about us Jews: We have better sects.
Lurker 09.07.07 - 7:00 am #

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Jonathan,
I'm glad Jesus loves you because I sure don't. You are obviously one very confused individual. I imagine that you probably grew up reformed or conservative pretending that you were a goy and then decided to make it official. This is why I send my son to a Yeshiva.
baruch 09.07.07 - 7:22 am #

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Speaking as a Jew, I think that perhaps the Jews should reconsider their outright rejection of any honor for this "Jesus" fellow. Of course, there is no need to follow the Chrisitian Trinity stuff, breaking up the One God into three sefirot, the "F-ther," "S-n," and "Holy Gh-st." After all real Jews would never, ever, break up their One God into multiple sefirot, would they?

No, a kosher Jewish theology of Jesus would go as follows:

Jesus was, indeed, the Mashiach, but G-d had him killed before he could Save the World, due to the Sinas Chinam then prevalent in k'lal yisrael at the time. The crucifixion was a warning to the Jewish people that was disregarded, which thus led God into messing with minds of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza, and thus the destruction of the Temple and our current exile.

As nearly all of Jesus' teachings are consistent with (i.e. ripped off) the Torah, we can consider him as basically a great rebbe who really did die for our sins, though, of course, his death didn't absolve us of anything, as it was done as a warning.

Thus, "Jesuser Jews" could follow the following simple customs:

1)They could observe the Birthday of Jesus as "Chag HaMolad" on December 25. While this is not exactly the same as turning Christmas into a Jewish holiday, it would go a long way to ending the December Dilemma, as well as making the winter solstice less depressing for Jews on those years when Chanukka falls out weeks before the solstice. I believe there is already a sefer of halacha out on this subject ("What if Christmas were a Jewish Holiday?"), so it should be pretty easy for Jews to observe Chag HaMolad.

2) The Yartzeit of Jesus (known to the goyim as "Good Friday") should be observed as a solemn day of repentance (after all, Jesus died for our sins, and we still didn't do anything about them.) I would recommend the following observances:

a) fast from sunrise to sunset, with a modest and subdued Shabbos meal as a break-fast.

b) midnight s'lichos services at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. (Reform services to be held at the Garden Tomb.)

c) Abbreviated s'lichos prayers as part of chacharis and mincha services.

d) A custom of eating candy eggs at the break-fast meal, as eggs are a sign of mourning.

All of this could spiritually prepare us for Tisha B'av.
Jesus H. Christ Homepage 09.07.07 - 8:57 am #

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Moabite...was the above comment you?The Bray of Fundie Homepage 09.07.07 - 9:33 am #
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"Jesus H. Christ"
I know that you are in part pulling my leg, but your suggestions make sense and would appeal to a lot of Jews who have come to know the Lord but who do not want to reject Judaism. I never felt loved and acccepted before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior. This is true for many Jews that I have come to know. Also, Baruch you seem like a very angry man. My parents actually go to a local Bais Chabad and the Rabbi has invited me on more than one occasion to attend servce. He speaks of the Messiah and has asked me about the Lord.
Jonathan 09.07.07 - 11:33 am #
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JONATHAN ...
ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE JESUS SHTOOS.

JOIN ME IN WATCHING ANOTHER RERUN OF "MY MOTHER THE VIRGIN" ON THE CATHOLIC CHANNEL.
TODAY'S EPISODE: JESUS IS BEDRIDDEN AND JOSPEH SUSPECTS THAT HIS SUPER POWERS HAVE BEEN DIMINISHED BY INGESTION OF THE ONLY SUBSTANCE CAPABLE OF HARMING THE SUPER GOD --- EXPOSURE TO AN UNKOSHER SHELLFISH --- CRABTONYTE.
Abe 09.07.07 - 11:55 am #

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your suggestions make sense and would appeal to a lot of Jews who have come to know the Lord but who do not want to reject Judaism. I never felt loved and accepted before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior.

Nudnick!! That's NOT what I meant. Jesuser Jews only believe that Jesus was mashiach who lost his job because he couldn't get the Jews to stop bickering amongst themselves. At most his words would be studied as one might study the works of a great rabbi. No Jesuser Jew would ever "accept" Jesus as his "Lord" and "personal savior." That would be the height of blasphemy. The only "Lord" a Jew has is the One God YHVH, and the only "personal savior" a Jew has his himself (or herself), through the performance of mitzvos.
Jesus H. Christ Homepage 09.07.07 - 11:57 am #

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Thank you for clarifying your position, but believe it or not your previous suggestions seemed to make sense and would help me feel more comfortable being Jewish while maintaining my faith in the Lord. I know that many Jews consider Jesus to be a great rabbi but have trouble accepting him as the annointed one. Is there anything I could do to convince them that he is the "moshiach." The Rabbi at my parents' Bais Chabad also suggested that I have a meeting with him before Rosh Hashanah. I suspect that he is curious about my ideas and wants to help spread the word of the Lord.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 12:21 pm #

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I met a girl at college who is also Jewish and who along with her parents accepted Jesus as her Lord. She also keeps kosher and says she observes Shabbat. Her dad is even a rabbi, and I'm going to ask him to get me ready for my meeting with my parents' rabbi at the shul. I know that Jesus loves me and that's all the suport I need.
Jonathan 09.07.07 - 2:07 pm #

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Jonathan,

I suffer from bulemia and until I read your posts, I was having trouble throwing up today. Thanks for your efforts.
Abe 09.07.07 - 3:08 pm #

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It all started when went to a bible study group at my college. I never met such nice people in my life. My interest in the Lord was not an intellectual thing at all. I always thought that Judaism was just so cold and mechanistic. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord, I was filled with a feeling or peace that I had never experienced before. Many of those who post on this blog seem to be mean sprited which is what I always found with my parents and their friends in the religious Jewish community. I also find Chabad to be obsessed with ritual with no real feeling toward other people and to be overly concerned with the superficial aspects of life.
Jonathan 09.07.07 - 5:59 pm #

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Jonathan,
Thank you for ruining my Shabbos. You should be so lucky as to have been born a Jew. You are most likely a disturbed person who needs urgent psychiatric care.

baruch 09.07.07 - 6:04 pm #


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I cannot say that I've ever enjoyed a discussion about jayzits more. It even reminded me of the Bible study group I attended three Thursdays in a row, over twenty years ago. The preacher's wife was this lovely young thing.... a round-headed brunette, creamy-skinned, petite, and discrete of mammary. Lordy, she was cute. Ooo-wee!

That old-time religion always reminds me of eye-candy.
That, and chewing gum.
Be sure to tune in next week, when Yonosson discovers Moishe Rabbeinu and is saved hallelujah, plus further episodes of "My Muddah De Voidjin", by Abe.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm sorry. I won't go through this. Back in "the other six days" since the Sjabbat feeling has gone now.
Sja'oewa tov.

Spiros said...

Let me see if I have this right...Jonathan keeps kosher, AND he has accepted Cheezewhiz as his Own Personal Saviour (a phrase, by the by, which has always occasioned the giggles with me), which means he has automatically renounced a sense of humor? I wonder if we can get him into Jainism, as well (I believe that the Breathairinans have pretty much died out) and see what else we can get him to give up. I wonder what he gives up for Lent?

Anonymous said...

Lets see how this really worked, "Yeske the Heretic, being a Jewish guy ,shot off his mouth and got in alot of trouble." It happens all the time! When has there NOT been a time where some Jewish guy WASN'T in trouble for shooting of his mouth? So what's new and I'll keep patiently waitng for Moshiach?

R

Anonymous said...

I always wondered what means of transport was used for
Christihimmelfahrt & Mariahimmelfahrt - and if the meaning of Himmelfahrtskommando had any religious connotations

Nobody can tell me but it may involve a beam-up operated by doves

anyhow

So Pavarotti knocks on the pearly gates......



St Peter opens them and says, 'Oh it's you Luciano, come on in,
squeeze through.'

Pavarotti says, 'Hold on, I've got an envelope for you, from the
Pope.'

St Peter opens it up and reads it.



'HERE'S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU.'

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