Thursday, August 30, 2007

SATMAR WERE THE FIRST JEWS

Er veist, naturlech, az Moish Rabbeinu a Satmar chossid iz?

Einfech. Es shtait in Chumesh az der mishkan war tzein amois (60 tfachem) hoch, Moishe Rabbeinu war oych tzein amois (60 tfachem)..... which means he could ONLY have worn a shtraimel (davka a plutshikke biber-pelts, nisht an emmese groise fuks-peltste kitshmeh, vi heint geveintlich iz), rather than a kulpak, or a spodek.

Kler, nu?

So, Moishe could only be a Satmar chossid because it is sai vi sai a MAIN Satmarer minneg to wear a flat hat, ober only a minor Bresloiver minneg, siz not so common - if he had been a Bresloiver, flat hats would be now main Bresloiver minneg (instead of the daivuhzity we see today), ergo, mamish, he could only have been Satmar.

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In short: Moses and the tabernacle were both ten amos in height, so Moses could not possibly have worn any other hat than the Satmar flying saucer, which sits level on the head and does not extend above it. Ya, the flying saucer is also worn by others, like Breslov. But Breslov wear a variety of hats - they have no real minhag on that issue. If Moses were Breslov, they and not Satmar would now mostly wear flying saucers. Only Satmar mostly wear the flying saucer. Ergo, quod erat demonstrandum, Moses had to have been a Satmar chossid.

[From which we also know that Bobov and Ger puff themselves up. Quelle hubris, gavalt! Have you SEEN their arrogant hats?!? ]

The logic is conclusive.



Unless, of course, Moses crouched.

Perish that thought, it is inconceivable. What are you, some kind of Misnaged?

3 comments:

Spiros said...

It sounds like somebody is bucking for a "tip of the hat" from DovBear...

Phillip Minden said...

Foist of all, you have to establish two things: Vas Moishe rabbeinu a chossid or a msnuggeeed.

The back of the hill said...

Aha! I was wondering when the first person would recognize the what inspired this!

It's a good clip - but it is even better when you realize that only a complete msnuggeeed could've come up with the idea..... video, absurd logic, praeconceptions, and linguistic touches.

And clearly, the intended audience is msnuggeeed too.

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