Thursday, August 02, 2007

EVERY WORD IS TRUE

Four fundamental ikkarim:


On Har Sinai Moshe received a copy of the Vilna Shas and the complete Mikraos Gedolos.[On Har Sinai Moshe also received a black hat, a beckishe, and chulent; "Ir solt essn tsholnt" was written on the original tablets, but they broke.]


Soon after Akiva started learning Torah he was introduced to the Gemarah, at which point he was pleased and amazed to discover that he would one day engage in argument with some guy named Tarfon.


Rashi is always right.
[If Rashi is proven wrong, chosvesholom, please repeat these ikkarim, starting with the first. You'll be surprised at how soon you can overlook Rashi being wrong. There now, wasn't that comforting?]


Midrash is always literal, and always history.



Dovbear disagrees with the above. And it disagrees with him.

There is a similar nauseating relationship between some of his readers and him as there is between him and the above. You could draw a Venn-diagram. Or you could rush over to the post in question, tzitzis aflutter and payes quivering in outrage, to contribute your shekeleim worth to the discourse. It is here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/08/some-questions-for-ed-bray-yus-and.html



Personally, I believe that if you disagree, the inquisition will burn you at the stake.

Oh wait. That's the Christian response.

Very well then, if you disagree, you'll be put in cherem, your parents will say kaddish and rend a garment, you'll be cast out to wander the lonely roads of middle Europe, and you'll snuff it in one of the many civil wars of the period.


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The world is not round, it is actually Burrito-shaped.

3 comments:

Phillip Minden said...

"Ir solt essn tsholnt" was written on the original tablets, but they broke.

Bnei Yisrol? As in braken?

The back of the hill said...

Bwaaahahahhaa!

That certainly cast a new light on what Moses found when he came don from the mountian the first time.

Too much partying will make the stomach easily upset.

Phillip Minden said...

For tshulent is an abdomination unto the Lord.

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