Tuesday, July 11, 2006

OH SAVAGE JOY

Also known as the Day of the Dutch-speaking Community, in Belgium. And why exactly do we celebrate this day? 'Cause French butt got kicked, that's why! Now share the love.
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THE BATTLE OF THE GOLDEN SPURS AT KORTRYK (COURTRAI) ON JULY 11, 1302 On 11 July 1302, below the hallowed walls of Courtrai, the most splendid army of knights in Christendom, the flower of the French nobility, was completely annihilated by Flemish rebels. The spurs that were taken off the corpses the dead French knights gave the battle its name. With this splendid victory the Flemish succeeded in repulsing the attempt by the French King Philip the Fair to conquer Flanders; the king had been seeking to gain a direct influence on the country principally to exploit the economic strength of the Flemish towns. It is due to this battle that civilization (and the English speaking world) do not speak French - which is well worth celebrating.
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To further your giddy joy at any humiliation of the French, I offer my translation of a literary passage about another French defeat: "...In the cold blue of early dawn, as faintly light grew, and languorously chased away the shadows, the sleepy watchers on the gate-tower became aware of a many pointed glittering underneath the aged oaks outside the city gate. First few, then more and more glimmerings made themselves apparent in the grass below the trees. Like pearls, like diamonds, these refractive and almost iridescent dew-born twinkles.... glittered, glimmered, shone, and sparkled, in the pools of dark beneath the ancient branches. A shaft of light cut through the haze, and the sun finally rose above the ribbon of forest which limned the borders of this world. Light struck the objects near the tree trunks, and rebounded upwards, temporarily blinding the observing guards. And as the world became bright, the realization dawned on them that only steel reflects so sharply. The city gates swung loudly open. Who did so? Who unbolted that protective portal so early? What Judas lurked within, and so deftly delivered these Leliaerds to a horrible fate? The mass of armed men in the orchard... then rose as one, and before the French soldiers had a chance of reacting the wall of Flemish swords was upon them. With glory and valour the nation freed itself of her oppressors, and before the sun had reached its height the streets had been laved with the blood of tyrants. All for Flanders, and Flanders for God. "
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Leliaarts - Francophiles, collaborators, and opportunists (the dark side).Term for the supporters of the French king and French involvement in Flanders. The name is derived from the golden lilies on blue field in the French king's coat of arms. Most of these were rich patricians with trade monopolies. The opposite of Liebaarts. Liebaarts - Native Flemish nobility and burgers (the free world).The supporters of the count of Flanders were thus called. Derived from heraldry, the word means lion or leopard, and refers to the coat of arms of the count of Flanders which depicts a black lion on golden field.

Friday, July 07, 2006

JERUSALEM PRIDE

Given the recent uproar by various Yerushalmi religious 'authorities' (whose hechsher we don't hold by in any case) over the Pride events slated for this summer (in the first half of August), I am reminded of a gevaldige shiur by the Rabam shlita concerning this very issue.
I reproduce it below.


Statement by the Rabam (Rosheshiva, West-Coast Faculty of Yeshiva Chipas Emess) regarding the Goy Pride Parade Scheduled to take place in the Ir Ha Koidesh (Yerushalayim Shel Zoihev..., mi Eretz Yisroel Ha Shleymoh..., somewhere south of Folsom Street...).


Tayere yingerleit,


While I am davka baffled as to why the Goyim need a parade, ferevvinsakes they mamesh seem to have everything else already, it is commendable that frumpy yidden show solidarity with their struggle, whatever that may be. Perhaps they want to wear black dresses and red-beanies - I understand that in certain US cities that really riles the masses (I don't know, I'm not concerned with the clothing-choices of galachim).



With regard to recognizing their cause through Jewish tradition, I am reminded of the teachings of the RAMBAM, who holds that Goyim may perform all mitzvos except keeping shabbes. So logically, as long as this Goy Pride business does not take place on the Sabbath, you can use a Jewish tradition that is not permissible on Shabbes but allowed during the rest of the week. The appropriate tradition that comes to mind is tefillin. What better way to celebrate Goy Pride than by binding yourself up in leather straps.


There are of course different styles of tefillin, rooted in longstanding halachic debates. Reb Yoisef Karo says that an Aimishteh fearing person should cater to both sides on the issue of tefillin (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim chapter 34), and consequently advocates plurality. As a result, the Mechaber himself chose to wear both RASHI and Rabbeinu Tam tefillin.


On the other hand, my heilige ancestor, the Rebbe of Prolicz, followed the minhag of the Mortifeier Rebbe, who was in the habit of wearing six pairs of Tefillin - Rashi, Rabbeinu Tam, Raavad, Arizal, and Shimusha Rabbah, plus one extra to cover any possible oversight. In order to tell them apart, each of his pairs of tefillin was a different solid color – black, blue, pink, red, mauve, and fuchsia -- except for the Arizal, which was rainbow-hued and adorned with fancy brass studs.


In our day, the minhag of multiple tefillin has been widely adopted.


Many self-styled Chassidim think they do enough if they only put on two pairs – RASHI and Rabeinu Tam. But numerous Rabbis, Rosheshivas, and Yoga instructors, in keeping with their status as spiritual leaders and guardians of halacha, choose to wear at least three kinds of Tefillin - regular, pink, and rainbow.


While tefillin in previous generations would have been a financial burden, today they are affordable for almost everyone, and there are many Orthodox organizations that ensure that even the poorest of our brethren can fulfill the mitzvos. I therefore urge all who read this to acquire at least three sets of tefillin - pink, rainbow, plain black (which goes with everything!). I also encourage you to be machmir and buy a pair in pastel for those hot summer days.


Additionally, as being b'zochei the commandment increases good in the world, it would be a good thing if you were to acquire a fifth pair, in case you have a friend sleeping over (if you have more than one friend staying over, it is right that the youngest be strapped first).


How should one select their Tefillin?


When selecting tefillin, make sure that the leather is heavy duty, so that excessive handling of your straps won't cause them to go limp.


Additionally, with all the fine leather devices available nowadays – studded straps, chaps, restraints, choke collars, diapers, and tight upper body garments, it is a hiddur mitzvah to spare no expense in obeying the commandments to the maximum extent possible, and then some. According to Rav Chaim Liberace, ALL tefillin types must have metal studs (which you can find on Folsom Street in San Francisco, or in stores run by the Saddomesacher Chasidim in all major cities), to remind the wearer that the mitzvos are both a blessing and a burden.


There is no Talmudic ruling regarding size, other than the statement that there is room on the head and the arm for two pair of tefillin, and according to Shimusha Rabbah (The Great Steward, aka 'Two Fingers'), the dimensions have to be minimally as much as a shot glass of tequila, so anything up to a watermelon in size is permissible - good news for those readers who are bodybuilders or are farsighted ("and you shall look thereon to remember").



The Proper Way To Lay Tefillin



First, take the tefillin out for a few drinks. Next, strap the arm, then put on the head tefillin, then finish strapping the hand and fingers for each set of tefillin.


Note: There is no merit to the mitzvah if you accidentally tie yourself up because you can't remember which lash goes where. The Macrameier Rebbe accidentally hanged himself because he was not paying attention, zichrono nebech levracha.


To prevent the extra weight of the tefillin excessively building muscle in what is supposed to be the weaker arm, the Mortifeier customarily tied the straps so tightly that his arm would appear white! Such kedusha! Our age has no Tzadikim of such saintliness.


When the Mortifeier Rebbe (zatsal) died suddenly of gangrene after preparing for Yom Kippur by wearing his Tefillin for the entire month of Elul, each of his sons inherited a pair of the Rebbe's tefillin, but none of them could agree who would take the rainbow coloured pair. They finally decided to give them to his young companion Yoisif, as he was the comfort of the Rebbe's old age - provided he would allow them to fondle the studs once a week.


Further note: For the 'angst' crowd (those who wear shvartze shmattn und veise ponim powder), it is appropriate that the script on the parchments in the batim should be Arizal. Otherwise, Bais Yoisef for Ashkenazim, Vellish for Sephardim, and Devanagari for New Age and Renewal Movement.


Sollst bleybn gesunt,



RABAM
Rosheshiva, Yeshivas Chipass Emmess West Coast

SF, CA, USA.


PS. Please note: Proper bulvips and paddles may only be made from gevil, and molded from one piece of leather. We prefer gevil cured with salt, flour, and mafasim (ibud ha'or method, al pi Rambam, Ramban, Rashba, and Gra), as opposed to the Yemeni style (the chalk tends to weaken the material).


The advantage of gevil is that it returns to its original, flat and smooth shape after being folded tightly and smartly creased on your skin. Gevil is Halacha mi Har, unlike the water-buffalo hides used in many cheap imports (which should only be used by Goyim).

Please consult your rabbi or local beis din.


----------------------------------------



As a further note, apparently many glee clubs (?) oppose the Pride events scheduled for Jerusalem as means of showing solidarity with Edom, Carmen Miranda, and Opus Dei - truly the thoughts of the Sonei Yisroel are baffling.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

COLLECTIVE GUILT? OR COWED JEWS?

BBC News article: "300 British Jews have signed a petition condemning Israel's military actions in the Gaza Strip."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5154838.stm

"The petition, which appeared as a full-page advert in Thursday's Times Newspaper, condemns the way Israeli forces have responded to the capture of Cpl Gilad Shalit. "


Okay, dat's veddy nice....


Why the heck should British Jews 'apologize' for what Israel is doing?
[Or feel that somehow they have to atone in some way by 'protesting'? ]

I do not intend to apologize for anything that the US does, or the Netherlands does, to anybody.


I assume that the atmosphere in Britain has turned a lot colder towards Jews because of Gaza.
Should I then, in like fashion, start slamming expat Brits here in SF for what their government does?

[That would make more sense, in a perverse way, as many of those expats are British subjects. British Jews, by and large, are not Israeli citizens (but, oddly enough, British subjects too, just like the expats).]


The twisted logic that holds that Jews have ANY responsibility whatsoever for the actions of Israel (a sovereign state, with its own independent government), would impose collective responsibility on people - which means that the local Palestinian smoke-shop owner on California and Polk is responsible for the safe return of Corporal Shalit.


Preposterous!


And by the way, Hamas controls the situation, and can call a halt to IDF activity immediately. Hamas holds the trump card - all they have to do is release one man.

If any group deserves collective punishment or has collective guilt for what is happening in Gaza, it is Hamas.

---------------------------------------------

The Times advert is signed by Harold Pinter, film director Mike Leigh, historian Prof Eric Hobsbawn, actress Miriam Margoyles, and other well-known figures.
A large number of academics are also signatories.

Dan Judelson, spokesman for Jews for Justice for Palestinians, said: "We simply do not see how Israel can defend attacking civilian targets such as water works and power supply."

Would it be better to target schools, hospitals, and crowded souqs?

No offense, Mr. Judelson, but it is precisely because the infrastructure is in the cross-hairs that this incursion has had so remarkably few civilian casualties.

I am sure your fellow Britons would appreciate more dead civilians, as long as the water works and power supply were unaffected, no?

After all, dead civilians are cheaper for the donor countries of the EU than repairs, and any place that has functioning utilities is a good investment opportunity.

Especially if the rowdy populace has been thinned out a little.


Should I point out here that I've lost my tolerance for European hypocrisy? That I find that glib uber-civilized smarm of the Euro-left nauseating? Or can y'all figure that one out without help?


No wonder the colonial possessions thought y'all were a bunch of right bhainchotes.


---------------------------------------------

Final note: the local Palestinian smoke-shop owner around the corner is a very nice gentleman (his brother is a gloomy old puss who vends cheap liquor to the local yobbos around the other corner), and at the prices he charges for tins of tobacco (Dunhill Standard Mixture, EMP, London Mixture, etc.), I would not step on his toes even if I thought it in any way proper to hold him responsible for what some of his deranged cousins in Gaza are doing.

So don't even think of suggesting 'collective responsibility' to me. Go piss in your own backyard. Shame on you.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

EXTREMELY YOUNG GIRLS

In a comment thread on Dovbear's blog, reb Late For Dinner remarks "Wasn't it common in biblical times for men to marry extremely young girls?

[see comments appended to this post: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/07/holy-hypocrisy-batman.html]

To which the proper response is 'oh cheeses THAT again!'


In a large part the idea that the extremely young got married is the contra-face of the exaggeration of the ages of sages that also spills out of the Torah.

Most of us know that this is metaphor meant to impress a point upon the reader.

But rashi doesn't know this.

Rashi tells us with a straight face that Rivkah was three years old when she married Yitzhak.

Rashi establishes by Biblical math that Rebecca was an infant, azoi: Sarah Imeinu was 90 when Yitzhak was born, 127 years old when Avrohom and Yitzhak go up the mountain. After the Akeida, Avrohom et famiglia (Avraham ve mishpacha) return to Be’er Sheva, then Sarah dies in Chevron (shock at what her son told her that her putz of a husband had been up to up on the mountain?), at which time Yitzhak was 37. Then Avrohom hears of the birth of Rivka, who his son Yitzhak will marry in three years.

From this Rashi shpers that Rivka was three years old.


Ibn Ezra, ma she’ein kein, takes a far less meshune tack on this, pointing out (Seder Olam Rabba) that Rivka’s birth is mentioned before Sarah’s death, even though Avrumel only hears about it afterwards. Ibn Ezra further postulates that at least a dozen years passed between the Akeidah and the death of Sarah Imaeinu, and if Rivka was born in the same year as the binding, then she was only thirteen years younger than Yitzhak – not so much a chidush as a much more reasonable assumption.

After all, a three year old is hardly likely to be at the village well drawing buckets of water for the household, giving an elderly git (Eliezer) a tip of a jug for a drink of water, AND watering his camels.

Supporting the mishegoss that Rivka was three years old at the time of her shidduch, Beraishis Rabba 58:2 says ‘Ere Hashem allows the sun of one righteous person to set, He causes the sun of the next righteous person to rise’, which is taken to mean that G-d balanced out the death of Sarah with the birth of Rivka.


But should we really assume so close a match in time?


Probably not. In Bereishis 24:16, Rivka is referred to as a na’arah, which means a girl who has reached the age of sexuality – at least bat mitzvah age, or even older. A girl who would’ve been much more likely to slide down from the camel she was riding when first seeing her future husband, whereas a three year old would’ve probably fallen off and hurt herself (which is not how it is described in this parsha).

A spunky teenager, in other words. Quite possibly a perky brunette.

Bubble-icious.


The Vilna Gaon cites Beraishis Rabba 56:11 which says that Yitzhak was 26 years old at the time of the Akeidah, and that Sarah Imaeinu did not die at that time, as it was at the end of the time when Avrohom and his family lived in the land of the Pelishtim, and after that they lived in Chevron for another twelve years. So, if Avrohom heard of Rivka’s birth after the death of our mother Sarah, then Rivka would have indeed been a na’arah.

Nothing like a young, fresh Naharaimian na'arah to spice up the old ohel.


So why do we still give credence to Rashi’s interpretation, instead of Ibn Ezra’s?

Simple.
Rashi was a ba’al gaiva.


Damn hippie.

CAREFULL READING IS A MITZVAH

We've all done this. We've read an article or an opinion, and ended up pissed as all git-out. Or thinking 'sweet cheeses this guy is loopy!' Or even written a letter animatedly proving to all and sundry how wrong! wrong! wrong! so very wrong! the author is.


I've done it, and so have you.


And both of us have to our chagrin subsequently reread the piece that got us fuming in the first place, only to realize that we were wrong. We misread it. The author didn't say that at all. We had a bee in our bonnet, and a bug up our chamor.
Our minds made a wrong turn.

And concerning that, I posted on Dovbear's blog recently.
[See here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/07/clarification-re-that-israel-thing.html ]

I reproduce the post below.



Tuesday, July 04, 2006
CLARIFICATION RE: THAT..... ISRAEL THING

Apparently I wasn't one hundred percent clear when I wrote this:http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/07/that-israel-thing.html


At least two people managed to be baffled as to which side I am on.


As these two people are actually intelligent people, whose insights I do value, and whom I know to be not just the brain-dead morons whom I usually encounter when on the Dutch forums I haunt, I really must clarify what some phrases meant.

Conservative Apikoris asked: "Which tribe are you supporting?"

And Chana, who is herself a darn good writer (see here: http://www.curiousjew.blogspot.com/) stated: "But emotionally speaking, to see you on the side that is pro-Palestinian is horrifying."


Well, you could have knocked me over when I read both of those comments (and it isn't even the weekend, I'm stone-cold sober!).

The third sentence in my post was a clue as to my stand... "I don't get the howls of outrage that support for Israel engenders among otherwise sane and good people". What I meant was that I do not understand why being pro-Israel makes other people (whom theretofore I had every reason to assume were sane) turn into rabid wolves baying at a heretic rabbit (me).
I avoid certain places because I have no wish to deal with pro-Palestinians and anti-Semites.


My fourth and fifth sentences were also (I thought) fairly clear: "In a few minutes I'll be at a counter-demonstration, where we few will be facing a multitude who do not wish well for Israel. And I expect to be howled at".

Please note three crucial elements - my use of the first person plural (we few), what we will be doing (facing a multitude who etc.), and my subsequent expectation that I will be howled at (which ties in to my use of 'howls of outrage' from the sonei-Yisroel faction mentioned earlier.


The third paragraph ('And once more... Place at the table') was an attempt to turn the pro-Palestinian clichés upside down. A feeble stab at sarcasm, which, alas, must've fallen flatter than the soufflé I tried making recently (it was rubbery, and quite inedible).

Then there was the bold text with the rhetorical question - I though it was obvious what I meant, as the only side which wants to exterminate the other is the Arab side, which has repeatedly sworn to drive the Israelis into the sea.
Surely none of you can believe that I am in favour of that?

[And I really would like some comments to indicate that I am not mistaken... ]


The dry remark at the bottom of the next paragraph may have been beyond readers who by this time were hot under their Neatzit™. I thought it was my best sarcasm...... I was wrong.

I apologize. My glib crack at the Western Europeans and the United Nations fell on deaf ears, on barren soil, on the hot infertile sands of the desert, the desiccated loam of a country long in drought, the dehydrated cracked mud of a dead riverbed, the powdery dust of a wasteland, the... Whatever. I apologize again.


Several more parts in my post were, it seems, utterly unclear. The two reasons I stated for why I opposed Palestinians having power were perhaps too vague. The snarky comment I made about the Palestinian homeland, saying that I believed it used to be called the Hashemite kingdom of the TransJordan, may have been too geographically abstruse.

Please let me clarify. The area now known as Israel and the occupied territories (which I called the 'liberated territories' - that should've served to tell you what I felt about the term 'occupied'), which are to the west of the Jordan river, are CIS-JORDAN.

The area on the OTHER side of the Jordan used to be called the TRANS-JORDAN.

[Rivers have two banks, or 'sides']

Both the CIS-JORDAN and the TRANS-JORDAN together are 'Palestine'.

The British put one of the Hashemite princes in charge of the area (his brothers got Iraq and Syria), because they needed a place to park the royals who had been driven out of Mecca by the Saudis.

The kingdom of Jordan (the last and only Hashemite kingdom) is populated by indigenous nomads and settled people - Bedouin and Palestinians. The majority of the population of the Kingdom of Jordan are Palestinians.

Please consult a map, plus a few history books, and a compass (and if you can't read the map, you may have it upside down, and you may need to rotate it one-hundred and eighty degrees on a flat and horizontal surface).


Okay, is that clear?

Please use the comments section to indicate yes or no.


Lastly, I mentioned what side of the street the pro-Israel minority would be on (the consulate side). I described them as "several elderly Russian speakers, a Chabadnik or two, Jews and Christians of the entire gamut of conviction and ideology, some Rednecks and knee-jerk right-wingers, and some generally decent well-informed people. And a screaming liberal who just doesn't get it." That screaming liberal on the consulate side was me.



So, to be entirely clear: I am pro-Israel.
I went to a demonstration where I was part of the group facing the pro-Palestinians.

I was with other pro-Israel demonstrators counter-demonstrating against the Berkeleyite... errm, Sonei-Yisroel.

The group I was a part of was pro-Israel.


The OTHER side was NOT pro-Israel.



And I promise I'll be more simplemindedly obvious in the future, and use no confusing irony, sarcasm, or rhetorical flourishes. I'll be bold, and clear, with no pretense at subtlety or inside jokes. No rhetoric. Speaking slowly and clearly. Simple Hemmingwayesque sentence construction.


Why, I'll be positively Foxnewscasterish!



Hah! You'll just have to read more of my crap to find out if I keep that promise.

Monday, July 03, 2006

THANG!

I was down on Montgomery Street today, really wishing that I had brought my overcoat. San Francisco can be miserably cold in summer, especially when the wind blows through the financial district.

I guest-posted about it on Dovbear's blog.
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/07/that-israel-thing.html


[Note: the Dovbear blog is here: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/
And you should probably drop by there more often.]

Monday, July 03, 2006

THAT...... ISRAEL THING

I don't get it.

I don't get the problem people have with the Israel issue. I don't get the howls of outrage that support for Israel engenders among otherwise sane and good people.

In a few minutes I'll be at a counter-demonstration, where we few will be facing the a multitude who do not wish well for Israel. And I expect to be howled at.

And once more I'll have to wonder why I don't get it. Why don't I get the heartfelt yearning of an ancient people to be free in their own land? Why don't I get the well-meaning support of thoughtfull educated people for a nation that has for so long been denied it's own home? Why don't I get the feeling of solidarity for and sympathy with a tribe of outcastes that rightfully demands a place at the table?


Actually, let me rephrase the question.

Why do I support one tribe that wants to live in their ancient home, while opposing another tribe that wants to drive them out of their ancient home and exterminate them?

After all, I'm a screaming liberal -- and nowadays liberals are supposed to wholeheartedly support the Palestinians, until the moment when it looks like the Palestinians will cease to be the underdog and might actually start driving out the Jews and exterminating them, at which point the Western Europeans and the United Nations will call upon them to stop doing that (and pass resolutions).


I am so much a liberal that I really do believe that the Palestinians have a right to their own homeland (I believe it used to be called the Hashemite kingdom of the TransJordan).

I am NOT enough of a liberal to support any of the Palestinian political groupings however. And I actually oppose any of them ever having any power, in any part of the TransJordan.


For two reasons:

1. Israel would not be safe if the Palestinians had actual control over any territory.
2. All Palestinian political groups include murderous thugs.


So while I do support a partial withdrawal from the 'liberated territories', I do not support Palestinian aspirations to statehood in that area.


The flaw in most people's view of the Middle east is that statehood and stable government are assumed to be natural and desirable for the entire area. But until recent times there was no such critter there. There were powerful polities with well-defined heartlands which had spheres of influence, and frontier areas in between the heartlands where state control was neither firm nor unchallenged. Most of the Middle east consists of frontier. Wild lands. Zones of no control, into which the nearest government would send troops whenever the locals committed another outrage.

So yes, I support partial withdrawal. Let the Palestinians mismanage themselves. Large portions of the Shomron are filled with them, and there is no reason for anybody to live among them. There is no reason why Jews should be responsible for them. There is no reason for Israel to administer them and be obligated to provide services in their areas.

Besides, a Zionist presence on the ground in those areas will complicate the inevitable military expeditions into the frontier zone. It is better to have no responsibilities there, but only strategic objectives. And, inevitably, targets.


Oh, sorry, I hear you asking about that counter-demonstration I mentioned earlier: Several pro-Palestinian groups (al-Awda, A.N.S.W.E.R., MECA, and ISM) will demonstrate in front of the Israeli Consulate in downtown San Francisco against the IDF actions in Gaza. This is scheduled for four thirty, Left-Coast time.

As is usual, they will be on the west side of Montgomery street, opposite the consulate.

On the consulate side of the street there wil be a much smaller group of people, comprising several elderly Russian speakers, a Chabadnik or two, Jews and Christians of the entire gamut of conviction and ideology, some Rednecks and knee-jerk right-wingers, and some generally decent well-informed people.And a screaming liberal who just doesn't get it.Sorry.I guess I'm defective.


--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---


7:01 PM - UPDATE:Well, it was both worse and better than I expected. The pro-Palestinians were more numerous than I expected (probably about a thousand), the pro-Israeli side were far less numerous (about thirty people in all - the elderly Russians did not come, nor did the Chabadnikim).

The pro-Palestinians were the usual three groups, in roughly equal proportion: cheerful fresh faced Arab-American college kids and their kin, useful idiots, and the 'not-strictly-functional'. In which last grouping of course the ones who at the tale end of the event started yelling 'kill the Jews'. Charming.

Please note two things:
1. Opinions are not formed at these events - everybody who shows up already has opinions, and many of the more rational people will not show up, having better things to do than making fools of themselves in public.
2. I dislike both the far left and the far right. Both were represented on both sides. But the pro-Israel side has, percentage-wise, more moderates of either stripe. We're more balanced, and more sane.

And we're cleaner.



Thursday, June 29, 2006

FAT GREEN VIRGINS

In a posting discussing the dialectic style of Professor Heilman, fellow dovbearian guest-blogger Krum as a Bagel dives into fish.

His posting is here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/06/heilmans-howlers.html


He writes:
"Another sign of the "slide to the right" could be seen in the Sabbath day culinary habits of members of putatively modern Orthodox synagogues. Post-services refreshments at these places of worship -- the kiddush -- which once featured sweet herrings -- either pickled or cream -- manufactured by old-time American food companies such as Vita and Season, were more and more often supplanted by the more traditional European salty herring, schmaltz, to the point where those who favored sweet herring would be derided by their co-religionists as Amerikainers, Yinglish for Stupid American. "


That's three types of herring mentioned in a posting which also mentions grampa Abe Simpson and onions.

You have my complete attention.

Unfortunately, treither of those three types of herring is, strictly speaking, edible.

Edible herring is green. Meaning so lightly cured as to be by American standards raw, by Midwestern standards unidentifiable, and by Dutch standards food for the soul.


Edible herring is a virgin.


Or as you might know it, a 'matje'.

Meaning a herring caught in mid to late summer, from Middle Dutch ‘maagdje’ (little virgin), modern Dutch demotic ‘maatje’ – in reference to their not having spawned yet. The reason matjes are prized is because in summer they will have recovered from winter (during which they do not eat) and have stored up fat, often having a fat content of over twenty percent, and are in consequence tasty and toothsome.


In the Netherlands (and to a far lesser extent Germany and Scandinavia ) the favoured treatment is removal of the gills, throat, and internal organs, with the exception of the alvlees klier (pancreas), whose enzymes will help ‘cure’ the fish. Immediately upon gutting it is lightly salted and packed in a cold place to ripen. The more salt is used, the longer it can be ripened.


According to Dutch food laws, it must be frozen (quick-freezing is best, as it keeps the flesh firm) for two days before being sold to the consumer, so as to kill the herring nematode. Hence those tasty fillets which you purchase from Van Altena’s spotlessly clean stand in front of the Rijks Museum will be completely safe – the more so because the merchant in question is well-known for the care with which he treats his fish, thawing them properly and keeping them chilled, nicely trimming and cleaning the fillets, and even chopping the onions precisely for the right flavour. Mr. Van Altena is an artist. A national treasure.


In the medine (Judeo-Dutch: the country districts), and especially further inland away from the coast, the preference is for a saltier herring – probably because in the olden days only those held up well when transported. Traditionally the herring sellers would board the trains with buckets of herring to be sold out in the hinterlands, at the consumer’s doorstep. The civilized and lightly salted delicacy we prefer in Mokum (Makom Alef: Amsterdam) would have been long spoiled by the time it was eaten under those circumstances. But with refrigeration, even the amharatzim can experience the farfeintere hoybstodlicher geshmak. Those lucky momzers.


The method used by the Dutch and Flemish for herring was discovered by Willem Beukelszoon Van Biervliet in 1380. Leaving the pancreas in ensures a fish which is tastier and keeps longer – in summer the pancreas produces a surfeit of enzymes which assist in the conversion of food to fat. And the fat gives the fish its divine flavour.

[Little linguistic silliness: Hebraicizing Willem Beukelszoon Van Biervliet might yield 'Ba'al ben Bikal mi Birblat'. Wow.]


Note that while Scandinaviim are fond of matjes herring, they are passionate about surstromming (herring packed in a vat with enough salt to allow fermentation, not enough to preserve it, so that it builds up a reek that can fell a mule, and the pressure might explode the vat), and lutefisk (codfish treated with lye and dried, which tastes like horsehide glue mixed with cat-litter). Both of these substances are considered delicacies and delightful. How strange.

[On shabbes, both surstromming and lutefisk are muktza machmas miyus mamesh (M4). The rest of the week their status is..... debatable.]


-------- --- -------- --- --------


Krum as a bagel can also be visited here:
http://krumasabagel.blogspot.com/
and here:
http://mavenyavin.blogspot.com/
[A shared blog - with other fine writers]


The other dovbearian guest-posterim are:

Akiva
http://mysticalpaths.blogspot.com/
And:
http://me-ander.blogspot.com/
And also here:
http://efsi.blogspot.com/
[The first and last are shared blogs, the last one very much so.]

Charlie Hall
[Internet whereabouts largely unknown]

Conservative Apikoris /CA /live "frei" or die
http://cj-heretic.blogspot.com/
[Great intro line to his blog: "Moshe goes to shul to talk to God, I go to talk to Moshe. Hi, Moshe!"]

Jameel
http://muqata.blogspot.com/

Mis-Nagid
[At present no active blog]

Nephtuli
http://primaimpressionis.blogspot.com/

Noyam
http://noyam.blogspot.com/
[Memorable quote: "That is why you are lying in a ditch on the side of the road right now and I am pinning this letter to your shirt."]

PinchasGiller
[Rumoured to be surfing off Malibu, if certain clues in the Zohar are to be believed.]

The Town Crier (TTC)
http://atowncrier.blogspot.com/


And Cousin Oliver.
[Famous man of mystery]

INTERFAITH, SHMINTERFAITH!

NOTE: This piece was guest-posted on Dovbear's blog while Dov is on a secret mission - probably a summer cottage up in the Catskills, but who am I to call the details of his rich inner life into question?

It can be found here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/06/interfaith-shminterfaith.html

The Dovbear blog is here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/


Recently a bunch of German visitors in Meah She'arim in Jerusalem were "persuaded" that they were not entirely welcome. I shall not dwell upon the different interpretations of the event - unless you live in a cave, you've already seen both sides in a number of different versions.
[If you DO live in a cave, WELCOME! Please share your wisdom - shut up.]


But I will say one thing: Orange T-shirts!


We can assume that these visitors were not Dutch monarchists. Or soccer fans.

The colour was not an accident.


Entirely aside from the deliberate statement behind the choice of hue, there is something, dare I say it, disturbing about a bunch of Germans all wearing identical shirts.........

The most positive spin on this is that it was a clumsy attempt at interfaith dialogue.


Much as I love the idea of communication and co-operation among groups, and feel that the more we know about what makes the other guy tick the more we'll all be able to get along, I am ambivalent about interfaith dialogue. And this is despite knowing that many of the people involved in the endeavor are estimable indeed, and much more intelligent and knowledgeable than myself.

Interfaith is precisely what it isn't. It's just two sides talking to each other.

Which is a good thing, to be sure, but forevvinsake leave the almighty out of it.


The understanding of the nature of G_d is explicitly different on the two sides of the Judeo-Christian divide; one cannot say that they share the same deity but differ on details - the difference is one of fundamentals.Even claiming that they have some source-texts and traditions in common is debatable. Once man's relation to existence comes into play the differences become even more glaring.

Necessarily any discussion between the two sides would have to avoid theological debate.Or even statements of differing opinions on certain fundamentals - to define the differences is already to disagree and evaluate the other.

Calling it interfaith-dialogue is somewhat misleading, as it suggests that only mere details differ.As if the various faiths are little more than menu choices at a Taco-Bell: same ingredients in similar proportions, only varying in how long they were in the deep-fryer.


I have no faith in a Fry-o-later. Do you?



PS. I could've also used the group-grope metaphor, but Dov said to keep it clean.
So I'll just bite my own tongue.



Instead of yours.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

GILAD SHALIT

[ -- Emotion, emotion, emotion. -- ]


I do not know Corporal Gilad Shalit. I have never met him, or any of his kinfolk.

And I am not Jewish.


There is a military campaign underway to rescue him. The Israeli defense forces crossed the border this morning after launching air strikes within Gaza.


On several Dutch websites I have read the usual anti-Israel venom, this time in bucket-loads. This does not particularly bother me. Yes, I have a certain empathy for the Dutch, a sympathy if you will, because I lived there for sixteen years and I am descended from Dutch settlers in the New World. It would be abnormal of me not to be able to see things from their point of view.

But they are nuts.

Their anti-Israel position is based on three things:
Anti-Americanism, Anti-Semitism, and Oil.


1. ANTI-AMERICANISM:
Like all Europeans, the Dutch had their share of progressives and liberals who echoed the communists during the Vietnam war period, and their left-wing parties by and large are still apologists for the communists. Since the seventies, to be progressive in Europe has meant that one despises America and Americans, and sees Yanks as somehow less than human, uncivilized, barbaric, and no more than the dregs of Europe.

Coupled with a Dutch sense of denial over their role in WWII, resentment at having been turned into a third rate power when they lost the Dutch East Indies after WWII, and the mythologizing of their negligible role in their own liberation at the end of WWII, the modern Dutch proudly oppose all forms of Americanism, while simultaneously aping all things American. They justify their aping of Americans by dichotomously maintaining in their minds an artificial distinction between that which is good and therefore European (like peanut butter, blue jeans, and rock and roll) and that which is bad and therefore American (like religious bigotry, French fries, and fascism).

And Israel is always seen as somehow an extension of the Americans. Which is probably because Europeans subconsciously realize that having done their damndest to exterminate the Jews there is something profoundly un-European about Israel's existence. If it were up to the Europeans, Israel would not exist.


2. ANTI-SEMITISM:
Europeans have never been able to confront their role in the holocaust, and the political cultures of most of the European countries standardly put all the blame for what happened on the Germans. Conveniently overlooked is that all the occupied countries had willing collaborators; people who not only sympathized entirely with the Nazi cause and held the same political beliefs, but also voluntarily co-operated with the Nazi authorities without compulsion and even without the profit motive.

Yes, there were those who validly can claim that it would have been dangerous to do otherwise.

That does not explain Holland having had more members of Nazi-front organizations than any other country. It does not explain the tens of thousands of Kaaskoppen (Cheese-heads) who volunteered to fight the Russians. It does not explain the betrayal of half a million of their own countrymen to the Nazis. It does not explain the Dutch banking system surviving the war intact. It does not explain the businesslike efficiency of the Dutch railway system during those years.

Anti-Semitism is the European disease, and the Dutch cannot legitimately claim to have avoided infection; the Dutch language has some marvelously pungent expressions that prove how deep-rooted the sickness is.

It is often remarked that Holland was the first country in Europe to allow Jews to practise their religion and welcome them in (way back during the golden age). This is true. What is not mentioned is that three centuries before Sefardi refugees settled in Amsterdam, at the same time as the Rhineland massacres and the plague, Jews had been exterminated.
Nor is it mentioned that Jews in the sixteenth century were valuable precisely because of their knowledge of Spanish and Portuguese commerce and colonialism. The Dutch sugar trade was entirely a creation of exiles from Catholic lands, and the Dutch trade with North Africa and the Levant was mostly a Jewish affaire.

Since the war, with the virtual disappearance of Dutch Jewry and the fading of the memories that there once was a Dutch Jewish community, most Dutch Gentiles are comfortable being openly anti-Israeli -- in a manner that leaves no doubt that to the Dutch mind, Israeli equals Jew, and Jews are the problem. When one takes a pro-Israel position in conversing with a Dutchman, one is automatically assumed to be Jewish, and one's point of view is disregarded because "you're a Jew and of course you would say that".

This does not mean that there aren't pro-Israel Dutchmen - there are, and they are not so small a number that they have become entirely invisible. But being pro-Israel in the Netherlands is like getting your face tattooed blue - to most people you thus advertise that you are shockingly abnormal and perverse.


3. OIL:
Let's face it, Holland has no oil. Like all of Europe it is dependent upon the Middle-East.

Since 1973 there has been no benefit to telling Arabs where to shove it, and Holland cannot afford to let France and Germany gain any advantages by jumping in bed with the Arabs. Besides, there is so much that one can sell to the Arabs.

Personally, I cannot think of a single Dutchman who would gladly give up driving. So while the Arabs have oil, and oil money to spend, the Dutch and the other Europeans will criticise Israel, and convince themselves that they do so from the most praiseworthy motives.



Okay, now that I have briefly dealt with current Dutch attitudes and why I think they should go do something incredibly nasty to their own anatomy with a wooden shoe, let me just add that as an American whose ancestors were traded to the British by the Dutch West India company, I have little reason to see eye to eye with my distant kinfolk across the Atlantic.
Sometimes I do. That's nice. That's also unusual. Most of the time they give me bile. Most of them. Some of them all the time.


A pox upon them.

Getting back to the issue of Corporal Gilad Shalit.

And the Israeli incursion into Gaza.


I do not want a permanent Israeli presence in Gaza. I really do believe that the best way to deal with Gaza is to be out of it, so that the Arabs can mismanage their own affairs. I see no reason for Arabs and Jews to live together at present, and I don't think they can.

But, if and when the Arabs in the areas which are not under Israeli control attack Israel, it is only right that Israel strike back. Hard.


If Gilad Shalit is killed by his captors, Israel should devastate Gaza.


I know that sounds awful. And it would be contrary to much within the Judeo-Christian tradition. Completely unethical by most Jewish standards. Very very Christian, in fact.

But what can I say? I am really not very enthusiastic about Palestinians, and while I had great sympathy for them twenty years ago, they really have done everything to erase that. Frittered away any moral high ground they may, as underdog, have had. Idiots.


I only wish that Israel could've bombed the Muqata with that disgusting little man inside it.


But now I'll settle for the safe return of Corporal Gilad Shalit.


However, if a bunch of Dutch anti-Israel activists want to go stand in front of the Israeli tanks and get run over, I will be overjoyed.


[So how about it, John Cheese? Do you want to go put your money where your big fat mouth is? ]

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

CHAZALIC INDIGESTION -- REALLY, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT ELSE TO CALL THIS POST!

The Godol Hador has an interesting posting here:
http://godolhador.blogspot.com/#115134043716276584
["Is Orthodox Judaism bad for you?"]


One of the questions he poses is how to justify the seemingly unethical parts of Orthodoxy to a non-Orthodox person?

And by extension, how do you justify the statements in the Talmud which are derogatory of Goyim?



I'm afraid that both of these questions presume that there is a simple justification for each of those problems. So of course the Godol Hador says that it is impossible.

Which is true.

But also, wrong.


Here's paragraph five of his post:

5. Unethical Teachings in the Talmud & Elsewhere
The anti-semites (and some skeptics) make a big deal about many seemingly unethical comments in the Talmud, which are derogatory about goyim or whatever. Mostly they probably have a point, though I think they overstate it. Nowadays we have all these PC answers (e.g. Sheloh asani goy is not derogatory but merely reflects our happiness at being given extra responsibility or some such fluff) but the statements remain, and of course nobody OJ is going to say Chazal were a bit racist. Even the Rambam calls negroes less than human in the Moreh, and basically says that stupid people can be killed.


Permit me to discuss.

"The anti-semites (and some skeptics) make a big deal about many seemingly unethical comments in the Talmud, which are derogatory about goyim or whatever. "

-----Those unethical or derogatory statements are taken out of context, and presented on their own. The anti-semites do not ever quote the ethical statements, or even give any indication that they have read more than that which they wanted to find in the Talmud (and many of them simply lift the data from other anti-semites directly, and add their own commentary).

The pro-goyim statements are never quoted. The statements which contradict the anti-goyim statements are never quoted. The openminded and outrageously liberal statements are never quoted.

In the same way that one can take statements in the Talmud to prove that Jews are racist bigots, one can take statements in the Talmud to prove the exact opposite.

The Talmud is not a coherent document, but a collection of discourses. The methodology is reasonably coherent, the discourse veers all over the map. And clearly includes much spleen.

I think I can probably find proof in the Talmud that acid indigestion was a major influence on talmudic thought. They should've had Pepso Bishmol.




"Mostly they probably have a point, though I think they overstate it. Nowadays we have all these PC answers (e.g. Sheloh asani goy is not derogatory but merely reflects our happiness at being given extra responsibility or some such fluff) ..."

-----The correct answer to 'shelo asani goy' is 'she asani goy'. A goy should not be grateful for having been created? Obviously a goy cannot say 'shelo asani goy'! Should a goy say nothing?



" ...but the statements remain, and of course nobody OJ is going to say Chazal were a bit racist. Even the Rambam calls negroes less than human in the Moreh, and basically says that stupid people can be killed."

-----And the Rambam reflects his time and place. Certainly a physician to the sultan did not live 'separate from the nations'; more to the point, he was drenched in the nations (and their attitudes). He was, in fact, a very Arabian gentleman.

The Ba'al ha Tanya says goyish souls are animalistic and evil - I too have irrational preconceptions and biases about Russians and Ukrainians.
We are coloured by our environment.

Our environment is, for many of us today, a much more complex place than people a century or more ago knew. Chazal, Maimonides, and Der Alter were indeed racists, by our standards. Not by theirs, and they had NO reason to know better - arguably, every reason to NOT know better.

--- --- --- --- --------- --------- --- --- --- ---

AFTERTHOUGHT: Why is it that some folks believe that a cursory whack-through of the Talmud is enough to prove their preconceptions about the beast? It isn't that the Talmud is even particularly difficult, just that there is an awful lot of it. The combination of Mishna, Gemara, commentaries, and cross-referencing, taken together, is sufficiently massive that much more reading is required than the typical light readers are capable of (especially as the brain needs to be kicked into gear for this). And there is more to Talmud than just Talmud - there is also everything since the Talmud - that too is Talmud.


TIZKU L'MITZVOS

This week, while Dovbear is temporarily abstracted, he left the keys in the ignition and the motor running.....

No, that wasn't an invitation to carjack the Benz, but an indication that there will be several guest-posters on Dov's blog (http://dovbear.blogspot.com/).


One of them being Mis-Nagid, who wrote this post:http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/06/money-matters.html

In short, a heart-string tug, a moral lesson, and an imperative to donate to charity.


He argues that charity is one of the fundamental precepts of Judaism..... With which I disagree, considering it one of the fundamental precepts of civilization.
[Or you could call it a shared value. Whatever. It isn't limited.]

If we cannot assist those who are less fortunate, in what way do we deserve to be better off than them?
Yes yes, I know the Calvinist answer to that question, and I know the white-trash answer. Both are mistaken, and the suggestion that they are poor because they are undeserving is a load of codswallop. Not everyone is equally lucky or has equal chances, and sometimes things go disastrously wrong.

[I believe I know what I'm talking about - I do commercial collections, and you would not believe how many decent hard-working merchants have lost their nest-egg and everything else in the last four years. The most admirable people go broke as easily as everybody else.]


As part of his post, Mis-nagid suggest donating to Masbia, an organization that runs a kosher soup kitchen for the needy in Boro Park.

It is a worthwhile cause. Wherefore I too urge you to donate. Your soul will be the better for it.


SHOVE SOME MONEY WHERE IT HURTS - CLICK HERE:
https://www.masbia.org/donate.asp


[Oh, I hear you ask why you should donate to a kosher soup kitchen for the needy in Boro Park, when you yourself do not keep kosher, can't stand soup, and actually live in Brussels?

Dude, who said that this is the only organization to which you should donate? Donate to Masbia in addition to whatever else worthwhile you give money to, not instead. Donate to other charitable causes in addition to Masbia. Do not limit yourself, develop some self-confidence. And thank you.]

Friday, June 23, 2006

HOLLAND PATIENTLY, SEVEN HUNDRED SLIPPERS!

I just love free translation pages on the internet.


This is why:

Holland patiently at 700 slippers of Surinam in 2004:

Into, which he goes from anus, it the 700 Dutch authorities produce, and have themselves hay mules from Surinam international nelly port Schiphol continue Amsterdam. The interfered areas avian of cocaine of the prisoners. Here informs the sissy yesterday in Hollands of the law, Piet Hein thunder. I carry explain that the names of the prisoners are taken up to a black list, and pod ran neater step on during proximal into 3 anuses feast. The information is edemas compartmental with the air airports, companies and the governments of l'Allemagne of France von Belgian and the Antilles Netherlandish. Of linsang, which appears approximately 1,600 Surinamese in the list.


This is the original:

Holanda detiene a 700 mulas de Surinam en 2004:

En lo que va del ano, las autoridades holandesas han detenido a 700 ´mulas´ provenientes de Surinam en el aeropuerto internacional Schiphol, de Amsterdam. Los detenidos habian ingerido bolas de cocaina. Asi lo informo ayer el ministro de Justicia holandes, Piet Hein Donner. El titular preciso que los nombres de los detenidos se incluyen en una lista negra, y no podran ingresar al pais durante los proximos 3 anos. La informacion es ademas compartida con aeropuertos, companias aereas y los Gobiernos de Alemania, Francia, Belgica y las Antillas Neerlandesas. Actualmente, unos 1.600 surinameses figuran en la lista.



And this is what it probably says in English, more or less:

Holland detains 700 mules (drug couriers) from Surinam in 2004:

This year alone Dutch authorities at Schiphol International Airport outside Amsterdam have apprehended over 700 mules, who had ingested 'balls' of cocaine. Yesterday, the minister of justice, Piet Hein Donner, informed that the names of the perps are on a blacklist of people who are not permitted entry for a period of three years. The list is shared with other airports, transportation companies, and the governments of Germany, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands Antilles. Currently there are over 1,600 Surinamese on the list."


Whatever you put in comes out more lyrical than you can imagine, at best.
Or like free-verse, at worst.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

FEEL THE LOVE

Best line seen today:

"This war brought to you by Cialis. Because the right time may be the last time.* Consult your voting booth for pointless wars lasting longer than four years. "


The writer of that line is a 'love-filled Hareidi"™
[Who can be visited here: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/]

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

VENISHMARTEM ME'OD!

[Or: 'Why I'm Hiding Behind The Refrigerator']


The importance of not harming oneself is stressed in the monotheistic tradition, and there are clear imperatives to preserve one's health.


It says in Dvarim (Deuteronomy), parshas Va'etchanan, psukim 4:15 "venishmartem me'od lenafshoteichem" -- you shall guard yourselves exceedingly (alt.: 'Venishmartem me'od lenafshoSeichem'), meaning that one must do all that is possible to guard one's health and avoid unnecessary risks.

Further, in Vayikra (Leviticus) parshas Kedoshim, psukim 19:26-28 "Lo tochlu al hadam, lo tenachashu ve lo te'oneinu. Lo takifu pe'at rosheichem, ve lo tashchit eit pe'at zekanecha. Ve seret la nefesh lo titnu bivsarchem, u ketovet ka'aka lo titnu bachem..." (do not eat with blood, do not divine and do not soothsay. Do not round the corners of your head, and do not destroy the corners of your beard. And further, (not) a cutting of the flesh (as a mark of grief for a dead person), nor any marks upon you, shall you make).

[There is a progression presented here from impurity, through false-belief and superstition, to heathen practices - all considered spiritual dangers with physical implications.]


By correct observances one may live, as it says in Vayikra, parshas Acherei Mos, psook 18:5 "ushemartem et chukotai ve et mishpatai, asher ya'ase otam ha adam, vachai bahem..." (guard my statutes, and my ordinances, which if a man do, he shall live by them...), and also "uvacharta ba chayim le ma'an tichye ata ve zareicha" (choose life, that you may survive, you and your descendants - Dvarim, parshas Nitzavim, psook 30:19).



Related hereto, let us consider smoking ba halacha u va briut (in law and as a health concern).


There is the famous dictum "vechol ha-mekayim nefesh achat be Yisrael, maaleh ahlav ha katuv ke ilu kiyem olam maleh" (who saves one soul among Israel, it is reckoned to him in scripture as had he saved an entire world - Sanhedrin 37a).

[Note: One should not read 'Israel' here as a limiting nationalist or ethnocentric term (as antisemites always do), but as a plural or group noun, usage-wise the equivalent to the singular 'chaveir' (companion). Thus, a single individual of your entire society - from the foreign bondsman at one extreme to the king at the other, from those in the gutter to those who are in high places. Remembering, of course, that all are descendants of Adam, and again all are descendants of Noah - none can claim any greater descent than their common humanity.]


In the Talmud, preserving life (pikuach nefesh) is considered of paramount importance and trumps many other concerns, as it says "sakanta chamira me issura" (dangers outweigh prohibitions - Chulin 10a; Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 173:2, but see also Rambam, hilchos rotzeach u'shmiras ha guf 11:5-6, concerning one's body; and Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah, siman 116, regarding risks).

Excepting three things, even ritual considerations are set aside to save a life.

[What are those three exceptions? Avodas elilim (idolatry), gilui arayos (forbidden sexual acts), and shefichas damim (spilling blood, or, bluntly put, retzichah - murder). One does not deviate from Halacha for the benefit of idolatry, perversion, or bloodshed.]


Smoking, alas, might endanger others. There are rumours that second-hand smoke might be a hazard. Or so I've heard. Which presents a quandary.


And though we know that "shomer petayim Adonai" (Hashem protects the simple - Psalms 116:6), we have an obligation to act out of consideration for others, as it says in Vayikra, parshas Kedoshim, psook 19:18 "Ve ahavta le reiacha kamocha" (you shall love your neighbor as yourself).


What this means, as it applies to smoking, is that one should not smoke in enclosed spaces occupied by other people - bars, restaurants, train stations, offices. Nor, if one is married, in the conjugal bedroom.
Even if you treat lightly your responsibility towards your own self, you must consider heavily your responsibility to others - remembering, of course, that their noses and mouths might derive no pleasure from your fumes, no matter how exquisite the aroma of well-aged Virginia and woodsy Latakia.



--- --- --- --- ---- - ---- --- --- --- ---


Please note that Savage Kitten came to substantially the same conclusion without any of this fancy textual stuff and pretense at Talmudism - she banished me, my pipes, and my stinky burning leaves, to the kitchen (closed door, open window).


So this entire post is merely an attempt to justify my internal exile, in a manner that makes me feel virtuous and intellectual.


The back of the hill, at home, can be found behind the refrigerator.

Boo.

THE NETHERLANDS BECOMES EURABIC: AUTOCHTHONES AND ALLOCHTONES

There are around forty-five thousand Jewish people in the Netherlands.
There are, unfortunately, nearly a million Muslims there.


Why do I say 'unfortunately'?


Because the Muslims are largely drawn from the less educated levels of their own societies, and have become the less educated level of Dutch society.
There were enough ignorant people already in Holland, they did not need to import more.

Yes, I know that there are a very large number of Dutch Muslims who have already contributed enormously to the country and to its culture, in many fields - Abdelkader Ben Ali, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Ahmed Aboutaleb, etcetera.

But other than the Turks, most Dutch Muslims seem to have mentally ghettoized themselves, in a country whose reputation for tolerance is based on little more than Calvinist apathy towards the heathens.
This means that the walls Muslims have built for themselves are further strengthened by the natives, who would rather neither see foreign elements nor deal with them as fellow-humans.


The Netherlands today is not the Netherlands it once was.


Since 1978, whenever I meet Dutch people, I am often asked why on earth I stay in the US, and wouldn't I rather go back to Holland.

Well, frankly, heck no.

You see, here I am 'autochthonous' (born in the country), whereas in the Netherlands I would be 'allochthonous' (born outside). The Dutch do not treat allochtones very nicely, unless they constantly reassure the Dutch what a splendid country it is and how jolly happy they are to be allowed to live there.

While I lived there, I often felt like a second-class Dutchman (at best). Whenever I have gone back for a visit, some people clearly considered me a failed Dutchman, because I now live in the US.


Furthermore, many Dutch people utterly despise the United States, and Americans, and all things having to do with the United States and Americans - which is why I usually did not mention, while living there (1962 to 1978) that I was a Yank.
[Not that I wasn't proud of my heritage, I just didn't like getting punched.]

Once people get to know you, they might put their bigotries regarding Americans on the back burner, and engage in decent conversation. You'll never entirely cure them of stupidity and their belief that you are perhaps a well-trained talking monkey, but they can be very nice. Plus many of them have weird interests and hobbies, and can talk intelligently about many things.


So yes, I do like the place. Amsterdam is a lovely city, the Spui square is the centre of the literary universe, and the cigars made by the successors of Mr. Pantaleon Gerhard Coenraad Hajenius are one of the subtle joys of the Rokin, about three blocks from the Centraal Station. To stay in Amsterdam is to partake of a civilized life in a very walkable and comfortable city, to enjoy a different time and place, with it's own cultural referents.


But after three weeks of eating herring, smoked eel, cheese, and Indonesian food, smoking cigars, buying books, and speaking Dutch, I'm a little fed up with John Cheese, and must return to San Francisco.

The sound of mental clogs and that bloody-minded superiority having by that time given me dyspepsia.




In addition to blinkered natives infesting the place and obscuring by their majority presence the existence of some extraordinarily broad-minded, well-read, and humane Dutchmen, there are also anti-Semites and Muslims.

Think of a Ven diagram - the overlap of the two groups is large, but they are not quite the same. There are some Dutch Muslims who are not anti-Semites, there are some anti-Semites who are not only anti-Semites but also thoroughly xenophobic and hate the Muslims, with a venomosity that is quite as repulsive as their verkrampte ideas about Jews.

Besides the anti-Semites and Muslims, there are a sprinkling of philo-Semites who are an embarrassment to be around, because their love of Israel is fueled by their loathing of Arabs, and far surpasses their knowledge of either.



In some ways, the Netherlands today is in the twilight of its own time, and the inheritors are milling about waiting to take over. Her culture is being replaced by something nasty and unloveable, her politicians cater to the hatreds of the mob. The carrion eaters are circling.



There's an interesting article in Ha'aretz today, which is relevant in this context:


http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/728863.html
[The protocols of the elders of Brussels, by Adi Schwartz]


EXCERPTS:

The original sin is attributed to Charles de Gaulle. Disappointed by the loss of the French colonies in Africa and the Middle East, as well as with France's waning influence in the international arena, the president of France in the 1960's decided to create a strategic alliance with the Arab and Muslim world to compete with the dominance of the United States and the Soviet Union. This alliance became the position of the European Community (pre-European Union) during the course of the 1970s, when an extensive European-Arab dialogue developed.

---[cut]---

This controversial thesis belongs to Bat Ye'or, the pen name of a self-taught Jewish intellectual who was born in Egypt and who currently lives in Switzerland. She refuses to reveal her real name for security reasons, she says, but her thesis is just the prologue to far-reaching conclusions and extreme statements about some European leaders who are kowtowing to Islam.

---[cut]---

"We are now heading towards a total change in Europe, which will be more and more Islamicized and will become a political satellite of the Arab and Muslim world. The European leaders have decided on an alliance with the Arab world, through which they have committed to accept the Arab and Muslim approach toward the United States and Israel. "

---[cut]---

Although all of these individuals (Oriana Fallaci, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, et al)are opposed to the
extreme right and its violence, they are warning that Europe as a secular, enlightened civilization with a Judeo-Christian background is dying.

---[cut]---

Since the 1970s, Bat Ye'or has published about 10 books, most of which deal with the life of the
Christian and Jewish minorities in Muslim countries. She bases her most recent research on the conduct of institutions in the EU, and mainly on the protocols of the European-Arab Dialogue (EAD), which she says aims to establish a strategic alliance by means of tightening political, economic, diplomatic and cultural ties.


Some quotes:

"What led Europe to accept the French policy was the energy crisis after the Yom Kippur War. Another issue is a security issue, because Palestinian terrorists began to strike on European land at the end of the 1960s. This policy is aimed at protecting Europe from the threat of terror."


"Sometimes the Arabs threaten Europe by shutting the oil faucet. They demand, for example, that Europe always speak out for the Palestinians and against Israel."


"Ultimately, it is Europe that created Yasser Arafat and the Hamas government."


"The EAD includes a policy of eliminating and delegitimizing Israel. In Europe there is a complete alliance with the Palestinians. There are those, for example, who say that Israel is the greatest danger to world peace. Or the initiative in Britain to organize an academic boycott in order to isolate Israel. This is a way to de-legitimize Israel."


"The Europeans will not do anything to protect Israel (in the nuclear crisis involving Iran). If at all, they will do something because Iran is threatening other Muslim countries with which Europe has good relations. Europe is not interested in Israel's future at all."

Monday, June 19, 2006

THE MANNA OF BENEDICTIONS

The following is said when we cannot remember the actual appropriate benediction:


"Baruch atta Adonai Eloheinu, asher flabberei et-gasteinu"
[Blessed art thou our Lord, G-d, who allows us to be flabbergasted.]


There. You feel better now?

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Why not "Baruch atta Adonai Eloheinu, melech ha olam, asher flabberei..."? Because we cannot comprehend the kingly aspect (midat ha malchus) of the master of the universe, and do not want to imply that it is precisely that by which we are flabbered, davka - that aspect of flaber dhi gastion is already inherent in our existence.

But some authorities are meikel this issue, and Tosfos have debated this extensively. Tzarich iyun.

NATION OF MERCHANTS

Only a Dutchman could have come up with this scheme....


For over a decade the Dutch government bilked the Chinese government out of hundreds of thousands of dollars by means of a fake Marxist-Leninist party (MLPN - Marxist Leninisten Partij Nederland) created by the Dutch secret services (BVD - Binnenlandsche Veiligheids Dienst) for the specific purpose of preventing funds from reaching any actual Maoists in the Netherlands.


The funds were transmitted via Albania to a local front organization (also set up by the BVD).


The 'party' adhered strictly to the Maoist interpretations of Marxist Leninist thought as propagated by Peking, thus convincing the Chinese that it was the truest representative of Maoism in the Netherlands. It also convinced the Chinese that it had the support of many workers. The party newspaper was printed in the basement of the BVD and sold by 'activists' and 'volunteers'.


The fake party survived from the early seventies through the eighties with Chinese funding. Over the years, several BVDers visited Peking as party members, including one BVD agent, codenamed 'jailer', who was photographed with the Chinese Communist Party chief.


Key is that it was a profitable enterprise. Paid for itself, plus.


All of this is mentioned in 'In Dienst Van De BVD' (booktitle: In The Employ Of The Internal Security Service), by former official Frits Hoekstra (BVD, Communist Section, retired), published in September 2005.

PARSEES

Heavy antique furniture. Picture of Zarathustra on one wall, picture of the queen (Victoria) on the other wall. Scotch whisky. Impeccable English...

Sometimes antiquated slang, from the nineteen thirties. A general lamentation that today's Parsi boys are not up to the manly standards of the past, plus an immense pride in the cricket-greats of the last century. A casual, affectionate aquaintance with European capitols.

If they're from Gujerat, a weird affection for Undhio. If not, they hate the stuff.

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GRITS AND TOFU

Like most Americans, I have a list of people who should be peacefully retired from public service and thereafter kept away from their desks,...