Monday, May 09, 2016

GOOD MORNING, WORSHIPFUL CHEROOTISTS!

Yesterday this blogger came as close to sainthood as he is ever likely to get. Not only did he put up with at least three (!) gentlemen whose borderline senility/schizophrenia would have sorely tried Jayzis the Fictional himself, but he also dealt with sundry dithering, dipshittering, and doddering.
What the hell, I am a saint. I'm a total friggin' darn saint.
Praise me, mere mortals, or bloody well else.
I know where your cat is.


Nothing says "Mothers Day" better than a fine cigar.


Which, of course, explains why there was a whole boatload of people adulating Trump in the backroom. Because sometimes a cigar represents your mom, and you need to be slapped senseless for the stupid shizzle that comes out of your mouth, you very bad boy.

Plus a wall put around your sorry ass.

Fortunately, not all of the cigar smokers are like that. Just the ones with mother complexes on top of their penis complexes. Yes, I certainly do love my cigar-smoking fellow bipeds.
Oh golly gee.



Pipes, now there's a splendid habit. A pipe coupled with good tobacco speaks of clean living, solid values, intelligence, and good taste.
As well as, at times, sainthood.

Introduce your child to briar and Latakia or Perique at an early age, and they will become fine upstanding citizens who will never embarrass you. Instead of rum and Bourbon soaked dissipants, inclined to vote for the wrongest candidate, and screaming about some damned horse in Kentucky, plus the best way to cook alu gobi. Vociferously.

I am patient with weirdoes.

I am a saint.




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1 comment:

Anon said...

"Pipes, now there's a splendid habit. A pipe coupled with good tobacco speaks of clean living, solid values, intelligence, and good taste. As well as, at times, sainthood."

Or, even better, cigarettes. Cigarettes display good, clean, simple living. No showing off with recherché habits like those described above, but beautiful simplicity itself, available to people at all levels of the social scale. Not an "acquired taste", like pipes and cigars; even women can appreciate a good cigarette.

Cigarettes are sublime.

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