YOU NEED BANANAS!

Many people have monkeys on their back. This blogger has a monkey on his lap. Which is much better. An eleven inch tall gorilla.
The Control Monkey.

In case you didn't know, a control monkey is the simian against which all others are measured. As well as being the overseer during an office move.
It is axiomatic that the properly organized office move (such as, for instance, from San Francisco to Hayward or any other poxy East-Bay hell hole) should have a control monkey making sure that credenzas and desks being wheeled down the hall at high speed to the assembly area in the big conference room, from whence the movers will take them to the freight elevator, do not crash into cubicle walls or structural pillars.

It is a VERY important task, which requires calmness, maturity, and sound judgement. An even-keeled personality, in other words. Alert & observant.

Afterwards he came home with me, and since that day he has lived here.
Contributing a civilized air to the household.
He's a super-nice little fellow.
Very lovable.


Naturally the other monkey is resentful. He (Urasmus Wazzoo) believes that Arabello Oyster is an usurper and an upstart. A degenerate African who will subvert everything good and proper. And steal all the bananas.
Damned immigrant!
My bananas!

Urasmus has been verbally abusive.

Mr. Oyster has taken it all with considerable grace.

Quite entirely as befits someone wearing a t-shirt which says: 'make a difference - preserve, conserve'. His presence will not lessen our quantity of bananas, but will almost certainly cause it to increase.


All households should have monkeys. And bananas.


That's just the way it is.



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