Member of the Jaybloggim, that is.
Two posts sofar:
http://badcohen.blogspot.com/
Despite the present paucity of posts, this one promises to be quite interesting.
Methinks especially if you are Lipman (http://lipmans.blogspot.com/), Margavriel (http://margavriel.blogspot.com/) or Steg (http://boroparkpyro.blogspot.com/).
Why?
Well, if you ARE Lipman, Margavriel, or Steg, surely you are dying to find out?
And if you aren't treither of the above gentlementioned, aren't you just burning with curiosity about what might make it interesting for Lipman, Margavriel, and Steg?
Or why I think it davka their cup of tea?
Please. Click link. And introduce yourself.
Monday, April 16, 2007
IF THAT IS THE PEG, WHERE IS THE HOLE?
Tzipporah asks:
OK, BoTH, if you want to be part of the JIBS, I'm DYING of curiosity as to what category you (not your blog, YOU) fit into, as someone who claims not to be "a Red Sea pedestrian."
(Yes, I've been trying to play cool before and not ask, as though I had any clue at all...)
:D
I realize that my blog is pretty much self-explanatory (and that's a good thing too, seeing as I would be hard put to explain anything at all about the content since inception, or about my fabulously large ego in bilboarding my writings for the world to see here).
But how to explain where I fit in?
Well, I'm not a Jew. Nor likely to become one.
[Not Jewish, not planning to convert.]
Converting would require a huge act of faith on my part, plus conviction, and a desire to belong. My faith is founded upon doubting, my conviction is paired with a strong skeptical streak, and for the past three decades I have arrogantly considered myself a majority of one.
[Besides, how could I redefine myself as a Jew, when I've already defined myself strongly as an irritating Dutch-American? How could I even consider lessening the ethno-cultural collective which is 'irritating Dutch-American'? There are not enough of us as it is!]
I'm not exploring different religions or belief-systems - while I read about non-Jewish religion with fascination, I'm pretty much planted in a monotheistic Judaic pot, and not really simpatico towards any of the more exotic creeds.
[Slight exception being Sikhism - how can one not admire a religion which as one of its major ikarim has a belligerent "we're not gonna take any crap from anybody" attitude?
But Sikhism is founded upon monotheized Hinduism, and fuelled by the historical Punjabi resistance to the Muslim conquest and tyranny. It is as culturally based as any other socio-political movement. I am neither a member of that culture, nor that much in love with all the sparkling facets of Punjabiness, that it has any strong appeal. I admire Sikhs. I like their robustly greasy cuisine. And their sense of humour and sheer ballsiness is immensely appealing. But I do not find myself engaged by their creed.]
Judaism is a fundamental part of my cultural woof. Of course, Christianity is also part of my environment, but there is too much cultic nonsense in Christianity to make it palatable, entirely aside from the avoda-zaraishkeit of trinitarianism and the Nicaene creed.
I cannot swallow any significant part of the Christian textual corpus, nor believe in so precisely defined a deity as Christianity postulates.
I do not accept answers that are so black and white, nor convictions not open to questioning.
[Which is also why I find Marxism utterly repulsive.]
Judaism presents a different approach to the whats and whys. Specifically, a fundamental part of Judaism is argumentative - what does this mean, why does it say this, and how does it relate to anything else? You have to ask the questions, and follow the arguments. But it is accepted that you may not necessarily answer the questions the same way, nor present the same arguments.
Judaism almost demands agnosis and flexibility from the student.
Other variants on monotheism hardly tolerate any multiplicities of interpretation.
[Yes, I know that there is much simplistic conviction and rejection of questions among Jewish groups as well. But on the other hand.... shivim panim le Torah categorically allows for differing approaches, and the idea of the hester panim denies absolutes.]
I have to doubt that the Torah is the word for word transmission - but it is a most fascinating lab record of the experiment with knowing the divine, and there is so much that is based on Torah that even a lifetime is not enough to explore the whole of it.
[And there too, Torah and Talmud, and the mefarshim, and Hashkofo, and the Shulchan Aruch, the Mapa, the Mishne Torah, Tanya, and, and, much and, and, differ from many other textual traditions.]
The Judaic tradition presents an ongoing dialogue about beliefs, behaviours, practices, and ethics.
Even if it weren't the only game in town, it would still be endlessly intriguing.
Addictive even.
So, Tzipporah, the answer to your question where I fit in, is that I probably don't fit very well, though I'm more or less a fellow traveler.
Jewy, but not Jewish.
OK, BoTH, if you want to be part of the JIBS, I'm DYING of curiosity as to what category you (not your blog, YOU) fit into, as someone who claims not to be "a Red Sea pedestrian."
(Yes, I've been trying to play cool before and not ask, as though I had any clue at all...)
:D
I realize that my blog is pretty much self-explanatory (and that's a good thing too, seeing as I would be hard put to explain anything at all about the content since inception, or about my fabulously large ego in bilboarding my writings for the world to see here).
But how to explain where I fit in?
Well, I'm not a Jew. Nor likely to become one.
[Not Jewish, not planning to convert.]
Converting would require a huge act of faith on my part, plus conviction, and a desire to belong. My faith is founded upon doubting, my conviction is paired with a strong skeptical streak, and for the past three decades I have arrogantly considered myself a majority of one.
[Besides, how could I redefine myself as a Jew, when I've already defined myself strongly as an irritating Dutch-American? How could I even consider lessening the ethno-cultural collective which is 'irritating Dutch-American'? There are not enough of us as it is!]
I'm not exploring different religions or belief-systems - while I read about non-Jewish religion with fascination, I'm pretty much planted in a monotheistic Judaic pot, and not really simpatico towards any of the more exotic creeds.
[Slight exception being Sikhism - how can one not admire a religion which as one of its major ikarim has a belligerent "we're not gonna take any crap from anybody" attitude?
But Sikhism is founded upon monotheized Hinduism, and fuelled by the historical Punjabi resistance to the Muslim conquest and tyranny. It is as culturally based as any other socio-political movement. I am neither a member of that culture, nor that much in love with all the sparkling facets of Punjabiness, that it has any strong appeal. I admire Sikhs. I like their robustly greasy cuisine. And their sense of humour and sheer ballsiness is immensely appealing. But I do not find myself engaged by their creed.]
Judaism is a fundamental part of my cultural woof. Of course, Christianity is also part of my environment, but there is too much cultic nonsense in Christianity to make it palatable, entirely aside from the avoda-zaraishkeit of trinitarianism and the Nicaene creed.
I cannot swallow any significant part of the Christian textual corpus, nor believe in so precisely defined a deity as Christianity postulates.
I do not accept answers that are so black and white, nor convictions not open to questioning.
[Which is also why I find Marxism utterly repulsive.]
Judaism presents a different approach to the whats and whys. Specifically, a fundamental part of Judaism is argumentative - what does this mean, why does it say this, and how does it relate to anything else? You have to ask the questions, and follow the arguments. But it is accepted that you may not necessarily answer the questions the same way, nor present the same arguments.
Judaism almost demands agnosis and flexibility from the student.
Other variants on monotheism hardly tolerate any multiplicities of interpretation.
[Yes, I know that there is much simplistic conviction and rejection of questions among Jewish groups as well. But on the other hand.... shivim panim le Torah categorically allows for differing approaches, and the idea of the hester panim denies absolutes.]
I have to doubt that the Torah is the word for word transmission - but it is a most fascinating lab record of the experiment with knowing the divine, and there is so much that is based on Torah that even a lifetime is not enough to explore the whole of it.
[And there too, Torah and Talmud, and the mefarshim, and Hashkofo, and the Shulchan Aruch, the Mapa, the Mishne Torah, Tanya, and, and, much and, and, differ from many other textual traditions.]
The Judaic tradition presents an ongoing dialogue about beliefs, behaviours, practices, and ethics.
Even if it weren't the only game in town, it would still be endlessly intriguing.
Addictive even.
So, Tzipporah, the answer to your question where I fit in, is that I probably don't fit very well, though I'm more or less a fellow traveler.
Jewy, but not Jewish.
Friday, April 13, 2007
THE THIRD ANNUAL JEWISH & ISRAELI BLOG AWARDS
Please note that the third annual etcetera (see caption) is now underway.
While I realize that it is a splendid opportunity to increase foot-traffic to my own blog, I am far too lazy to nominate myself for any category.
Plus far too reserved and modest.
But you, dear sweet cherished gentle reader, may please feel free to do so.
Click here: http://jibawards.com/
It is easy. Nominate me for everything. Go ahead, I'll be generous and extend permission. Everything. I'm worth it.
Did I mention that you are kind, intelligent, gallant, and darned good-looking?
I should have. You zesty looker you. Mmmm!! Your glorious appearance is sure to turn the heads of whichever sex you believe is appropriate. Drooling eyes are upon you. You will feel warm and loved.
Especially if you go here:
http://jibawards.com/
You could also nominate several other sterling blogs. But why would you? You are here now, I have planted the idea in your head, and what a marvelous idea it is too!
You're innate sense of fairness and decency makes you want to nominate me.
Truly you are a prince among men or women.
Don't forget to vote for me in another week.
Several times.
Thank you.
While I realize that it is a splendid opportunity to increase foot-traffic to my own blog, I am far too lazy to nominate myself for any category.
Plus far too reserved and modest.
But you, dear sweet cherished gentle reader, may please feel free to do so.
Click here: http://jibawards.com/
It is easy. Nominate me for everything. Go ahead, I'll be generous and extend permission. Everything. I'm worth it.
Did I mention that you are kind, intelligent, gallant, and darned good-looking?
I should have. You zesty looker you. Mmmm!! Your glorious appearance is sure to turn the heads of whichever sex you believe is appropriate. Drooling eyes are upon you. You will feel warm and loved.
Especially if you go here:
http://jibawards.com/
You could also nominate several other sterling blogs. But why would you? You are here now, I have planted the idea in your head, and what a marvelous idea it is too!
You're innate sense of fairness and decency makes you want to nominate me.
Truly you are a prince among men or women.
Don't forget to vote for me in another week.
Several times.
Thank you.
INTERNATIONAL ZIONIST CONSPIRACY
Sometimes fellow habitués of the cigar store ask me about the demonstrations or counter-demonstrations. I've gotten into the habit of starting off my explanation by saying: "well, as you know I'm a member of the International Zionist Conspiracy......."
And as the anti-Zionists in the Bay Area know,
we.... are.... EVERYWHERE!
More or less.
Although sometimes not all of us at once.
One of our members is, at present, under the weather.
In reaction to my excellent advice that he hide his fever and nausea from his nearest and dearest, and boldly soldier on, another member suggested that when it came to carving up a zebra, he should follow my advice, but as regards Jewish Mother Advice, he should listen to her. Stay home. Sleep. Drink.
Seeing as it is well-nigh impossible for me to ever become a Jewish mother, I was reminded of the following:
Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta.
Reg: What?
Loretta: It's my right as a man.
Judith: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
Loretta: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!!
Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them!
Reg: But... you can't have babies!
Loretta: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb. Where is the foetus going to gestate? You're going to keep it in a box?
Loretta: (starts to cry) Sniff.
Judith: Here, I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
Rogers: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister! Sorry.
Reg: What's the point?
Rogers: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Rogers: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
Now, in that vein, and as there are a wealth of organizations which are either Jewish or Gentile, and also organizations both Jewish and Gentile, which have opinions about Israel, Zionism, Jews, the Philistines, Edomitish-liberation, and that they span the gamut from arch Zionist-Revisionist to 'Amalek by choice' (*), I naturally must share with you the last word on fractionistic tendencies.
Reg: Judean People's Front! We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front, tchah! (spits)
Francis: Wankers!
Brian: Can I join your group?
Reg: No. Piss off!
Brian: I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody.
Everybody: Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh.
Reg: Shtum!
Judith: Are you sure?
Brian: Dead sure. I hate the Romans really.
Reg: Listen. If you really wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!!!
Reg: Oh yeah? How much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the
f-cking Judean People's Front.
Everybody: Yeah....!
Judith: Splitters!
Everybody: Splitters.
Francis: AND the Judean Popular People's Front.
Everybody: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters.
Loretta: And the People's Front of Judea.
Everybody: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters.
Reg: What?
Loretta: The People's Front of Judea. Splitters.
Reg: We're the People's Front of Judea!
Loretta: Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
Reg: People's Front!
Francis: Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
Reg: He's over there.
Everybody: Splitter!
It sometimes seems as if each Jewish organization has many of the same members as all other Jewish organizations, and similarly every anti-Zionist group is the same as several dozen other anti-Zionist groups and pro-Philistine front organizations, also with all the same members. There is an immense overlap. The same faces, but many alternate masks.
Just like the International Zionist Conspiracy 'is.... EVERYWHERE....', members of the various "destroy-Israel-and-surrender" organizations seem to be everywhere - in each others pockets, beds, and organizations. They are more numerous than us (there being a fecundity to compost heaps). But there are not nearly as many of them as they would like to think. The multiplicity of names obscures their actual number. And despite their attempts to rope in the vast masses, they are nearly as exclusive as the Freemasons.
As I said, they may indeed be more numerous than us. But they are far from everywhere.
------------------------------
(*) Amalek by choice: this is the explanation by one of our members as to why so many Jews join the anti-Israel side, and why so many non-Jews inexplicably gravitate towards strident hate. They are Amelek by choice, even if some of them are Jewish by descent.
And in that they are Amelek by choice, however you take that metaphor, it is both right and good to oppose them.
------------------------------
PS. All of the foregoing was largely an excuse to utilize some dynamite Monty Python stuff. It's good stuff. That's perspective, is wot it is.
And as the anti-Zionists in the Bay Area know,
we.... are.... EVERYWHERE!
More or less.
Although sometimes not all of us at once.
One of our members is, at present, under the weather.
In reaction to my excellent advice that he hide his fever and nausea from his nearest and dearest, and boldly soldier on, another member suggested that when it came to carving up a zebra, he should follow my advice, but as regards Jewish Mother Advice, he should listen to her. Stay home. Sleep. Drink.
Seeing as it is well-nigh impossible for me to ever become a Jewish mother, I was reminded of the following:
Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta.
Reg: What?
Loretta: It's my right as a man.
Judith: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
Loretta: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!!
Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them!
Reg: But... you can't have babies!
Loretta: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb. Where is the foetus going to gestate? You're going to keep it in a box?
Loretta: (starts to cry) Sniff.
Judith: Here, I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
Rogers: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister! Sorry.
Reg: What's the point?
Rogers: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Rogers: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
Now, in that vein, and as there are a wealth of organizations which are either Jewish or Gentile, and also organizations both Jewish and Gentile, which have opinions about Israel, Zionism, Jews, the Philistines, Edomitish-liberation, and that they span the gamut from arch Zionist-Revisionist to 'Amalek by choice' (*), I naturally must share with you the last word on fractionistic tendencies.
Reg: Judean People's Front! We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front, tchah! (spits)
Francis: Wankers!
Brian: Can I join your group?
Reg: No. Piss off!
Brian: I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody.
Everybody: Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh.
Reg: Shtum!
Judith: Are you sure?
Brian: Dead sure. I hate the Romans really.
Reg: Listen. If you really wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!!!
Reg: Oh yeah? How much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the
f-cking Judean People's Front.
Everybody: Yeah....!
Judith: Splitters!
Everybody: Splitters.
Francis: AND the Judean Popular People's Front.
Everybody: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters.
Loretta: And the People's Front of Judea.
Everybody: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters.
Reg: What?
Loretta: The People's Front of Judea. Splitters.
Reg: We're the People's Front of Judea!
Loretta: Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
Reg: People's Front!
Francis: Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
Reg: He's over there.
Everybody: Splitter!
It sometimes seems as if each Jewish organization has many of the same members as all other Jewish organizations, and similarly every anti-Zionist group is the same as several dozen other anti-Zionist groups and pro-Philistine front organizations, also with all the same members. There is an immense overlap. The same faces, but many alternate masks.
Just like the International Zionist Conspiracy 'is.... EVERYWHERE....', members of the various "destroy-Israel-and-surrender" organizations seem to be everywhere - in each others pockets, beds, and organizations. They are more numerous than us (there being a fecundity to compost heaps). But there are not nearly as many of them as they would like to think. The multiplicity of names obscures their actual number. And despite their attempts to rope in the vast masses, they are nearly as exclusive as the Freemasons.
As I said, they may indeed be more numerous than us. But they are far from everywhere.
------------------------------
(*) Amalek by choice: this is the explanation by one of our members as to why so many Jews join the anti-Israel side, and why so many non-Jews inexplicably gravitate towards strident hate. They are Amelek by choice, even if some of them are Jewish by descent.
And in that they are Amelek by choice, however you take that metaphor, it is both right and good to oppose them.
------------------------------
PS. All of the foregoing was largely an excuse to utilize some dynamite Monty Python stuff. It's good stuff. That's perspective, is wot it is.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
IT'S PIPE-GLOATING TIME
Bought another new pipe. And I'm gloating.
Some people might not understand why acquisition of a smoking implement is such cause for pleasure.
Especially as I own well over a hundred of the things already.
Just imagine that it's a pair of shoes, and I'm Imelda Marcos.
------------------------------------
A taper-stem Peterson bent with a bowl the sides of which are too straight for it to qualify as a bent billiard, and a bend not deep enough for it to be an OomPaul. Sort of a lazy bend stack. One of their limited edition jobbies. Fully loaded it would probably last an hour.
It has that look that the pipes of one's adult relatives had when one was not yet of legal smoking age. That old and good appearance, the look that speaks to memory, and echoes a rich past and an epoch now gone.
Ships officers, draughtsmen, engineers. Coiled rope, train-sidings, long loading docks roofed with corrugated. Redwood paneling, green glass lampshades, heavy oak desk-chairs. Multi-volume scientific reference texts, slide-rules, and fine drafting equipment (made of that hard old-fashioned alloy, the one with the metal-fragrance that you can smell, not the cheap garbage soft metal compost used nowadays).
I do believe I'll be habitually smoking something stinky in it. Something with at least forty percent Latakia.
Gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat.
TOBACCO INDEX
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Some people might not understand why acquisition of a smoking implement is such cause for pleasure.
Especially as I own well over a hundred of the things already.
Just imagine that it's a pair of shoes, and I'm Imelda Marcos.
------------------------------------
A taper-stem Peterson bent with a bowl the sides of which are too straight for it to qualify as a bent billiard, and a bend not deep enough for it to be an OomPaul. Sort of a lazy bend stack. One of their limited edition jobbies. Fully loaded it would probably last an hour.
It has that look that the pipes of one's adult relatives had when one was not yet of legal smoking age. That old and good appearance, the look that speaks to memory, and echoes a rich past and an epoch now gone.
Ships officers, draughtsmen, engineers. Coiled rope, train-sidings, long loading docks roofed with corrugated. Redwood paneling, green glass lampshades, heavy oak desk-chairs. Multi-volume scientific reference texts, slide-rules, and fine drafting equipment (made of that hard old-fashioned alloy, the one with the metal-fragrance that you can smell, not the cheap garbage soft metal compost used nowadays).
I do believe I'll be habitually smoking something stinky in it. Something with at least forty percent Latakia.
Gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat, gloat.
TOBACCO INDEX
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
HOLY HAND GRENADES, BATMAN!
"...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large...."
I like lamb, carp, anchovies, and fruitbats (not too fond of sloths, orang-utans, or breakfast cereals).
But this is not in reference to a banquet, but to the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, from the Monty Python movie.
The hand-grenade has but the briefest role in the movie, but that scene is probably cited as much as any other part of the tale. The phrase "three shall be the number of the count" can start conversations with complete strangers. The obsession with three, coupled with a killer rabbit and a loopy wizard, seem to have found permanent lodgings in the minds of the truly intelligent.
[The terms nerd and geek are often applied to the truly intelligent. A canard.]
"...then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. "
The quote, as I'm sure everyone realizes, is from the Book of Armaments (Chapter 2, verses 9 through 21).
What few people know is that it is actually a borrowing from the Jewish tradition, and predates much that is Christian. Specifically, it is a borrowing from the Seder.
A fragment recently revealed makes that quite clear.
"Four shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be four. Five shalt thou not count, neither count thou three, excepting that thou then proceed to four. Six is right out! Once the number four, being the fourth number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Haggadah of Peysach towards thy foe, who being apikorsish in my sight, shall snuff it..."
The four sons, the four kashes, the sages reclining at Bnei Brak.......
The connection is obvious.
The three motif is a clearly recognizable Christianization.
Despite the rabbit, it originally has nothing to do with Easter.
-----------------------------------
This post is a rif on a recent Dovbear (http://dovbear.blogspot.com/) posting in which he makes mention of Krum as a bagel (http://krumasabagel.blogspot.com/index.html).
This post: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/04/dont-visit-krum.html
And this one: http://krumasabagel.blogspot.com/2007/04/pesach-grinch.html
The caffeine is wearing off now, time for tea. With four lumps of sugar. Not three, save that it lead to four. Four. Four and only four. Four alone, no other numbers. Four, yes four. Four, indeed four. Four, truly four; four are the lumps of sugar. For tea it is fitting, for tea it is right. Four.
I like lamb, carp, anchovies, and fruitbats (not too fond of sloths, orang-utans, or breakfast cereals).
But this is not in reference to a banquet, but to the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, from the Monty Python movie.
The hand-grenade has but the briefest role in the movie, but that scene is probably cited as much as any other part of the tale. The phrase "three shall be the number of the count" can start conversations with complete strangers. The obsession with three, coupled with a killer rabbit and a loopy wizard, seem to have found permanent lodgings in the minds of the truly intelligent.
[The terms nerd and geek are often applied to the truly intelligent. A canard.]
"...then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. "
The quote, as I'm sure everyone realizes, is from the Book of Armaments (Chapter 2, verses 9 through 21).
What few people know is that it is actually a borrowing from the Jewish tradition, and predates much that is Christian. Specifically, it is a borrowing from the Seder.
A fragment recently revealed makes that quite clear.
"Four shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be four. Five shalt thou not count, neither count thou three, excepting that thou then proceed to four. Six is right out! Once the number four, being the fourth number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Haggadah of Peysach towards thy foe, who being apikorsish in my sight, shall snuff it..."
The four sons, the four kashes, the sages reclining at Bnei Brak.......
The connection is obvious.
The three motif is a clearly recognizable Christianization.
Despite the rabbit, it originally has nothing to do with Easter.
-----------------------------------
This post is a rif on a recent Dovbear (http://dovbear.blogspot.com/) posting in which he makes mention of Krum as a bagel (http://krumasabagel.blogspot.com/index.html).
This post: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/04/dont-visit-krum.html
And this one: http://krumasabagel.blogspot.com/2007/04/pesach-grinch.html
The caffeine is wearing off now, time for tea. With four lumps of sugar. Not three, save that it lead to four. Four. Four and only four. Four alone, no other numbers. Four, yes four. Four, indeed four. Four, truly four; four are the lumps of sugar. For tea it is fitting, for tea it is right. Four.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
JEWISH CALENDAR
The other day someone asked whether Jews celebrated Easter on the same day as the Greek Orthodox this year.
You can well imagine my flabbergastion.
I tried to explain that Easter was not, strictly speaking, a Jewish event - while the root of the holiday may have been a Jewish celebration, the calculation of the date of Easter is based on strange Papal math (first Sunday after the Paschal Full Moon after March 20) so that it does not match with the Jewish calendar. The Greeks have their own way of doing it (they're wrong, too).
In consequence, although Easter and Passover may at times coincide, they usually leap each other's frog as far as the exact dates are concerned.
Nor are they celebrated in similar ways - Passover is a joyous celebration of national liberation with multiple layers of meaning, whereas Easter is about egg-laying bunnies.
It became evident that my acquaintance was not at all familiar with the concept that calendars have ritual connotations, and that different creeds may, because of their particular ritual needs, have their own ideas about the calculation of dates.
[It was also clear that he was staggeringly uninformed about religion - but as that was probably a blessing I simply drifted over those lacunae in his database. Sometimes a crevasse may be merely a crevice.]
Afterwards it struck me that a simple calendar of the Jewish year might be helpful for some people - who knows, it might make something clear to somebody. At least they'll know what the Jews are doing at the time, and it will make everything more predictable.
It might even be of use for some of the FFF (far from frum) crowd.
So then. Sheer kindly helpfulness and a sincere love for my fellow man. A calendar.
THE JEWISH YEAR
1. TISHRI
Erev Rosh Hashanah: Anticipate.
Rosh Hashanah: Eat.
Shabbes Shuva (sometimes after Tzom Gdalia): Reflect.
Tzom Gdalia (sometimes before Shabbes Shuva): Do not eat.
Erev Yom Kippur: Anticipate.
Yom Kippur: Do not eat. Weep. Wail.
Erev Sukkos: Anticipate.
Sukkos: Have a seven day picnic in a shed, and a lemon.
Hoshanah Rabbah: Eat.
Shmini Atzeres: Eat more.
Simches Torah: Keep right on eating. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night.
2. CHESVAN
Cheshvan (whole month): Get over it. Do nothing for a month.
3. KISLEV
Chanukka: Eat potato flapjacks and burn the candles that the Supermercado on Avenida De Las Cruces sold in the kosher aisle last spring. Give socks for seven more days.
4. TEVES
[Note: One more pair of socks.]
Asara B'Teves (tenth of Teves): Do not eat.
Shabbes Shirah: Sing. Sea. Seashanty. Sing.
5. SHVAT
Tu B'Shvat: Eat.
Mefarsha: Tu B'shvat: Eat under a tree. Or (eat) tree produce. Or plant a tree. Or climb one. If you cannot find a tree, you may substitute a shrubbery - one that looks nice, and (is) not too expensive. [Source: Tzipporah]
Shabbes Shekelim: Ponder the counting of money.
6. ADAR
Taanis Ester: Do not eat.
Shabbes Zacher: Do not remember Amalek. Do not even think of Amalek. Don't. Just say no.
Purim: Eat, drink slivovitz, and be merry. Talk all night.
Shushan Purim: Be confused. What did you do last night?
Shabbes Parah: Think pure thoughts about heifers.
Shabbes Hachodesh: Be confused about calendars.
7. NISAN
Shabbes Hagodol: Think of sheep.
Taanis Bechoros: Starve the firstborn.
Erev Peysach: Buy candles in the kosher aisle of the Supermercado on Avenida De Las Cruces.
Peysach: Eat crackerbrød and salt water. Salad. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night. No beer and beans.
[You really want keep away from the beer-and-bean diet the rest of the year also. They make you ph&%T like an old woman. We told you.]
8. IYAR
Lag B'Omer: Set fire to something. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night.
9. SIVAN
Erev Shavues: Anticipate.
Shavues: Eat cheesecake and blintzes. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night.
10. TAMUZ
Tzom Tamuz (on the 17th. Of Tamuz): Be utterly miserable!
11. AV
Shabbes Chazon: Think of the destruction of the Beis Mikdash.
Tisha B'Av: Do not eat. Avoid thinking about food, even crackerbrød and salt water. Or salad. Especially do not think of cheesecake, blintzes, and slivovitz.
Shabbes Nachamu: Be sort of consoled.
Catskills: Rent a cockalone.
12. ELUL
Elul (whole month): Shvitz in shul.
Note: If it isn't any one of the events listed above, just think deep thoughts and lead a clean life. You're probably doing something horribly wrong anyway, but if your shvigger doesn't know about it, it isn't that important.
------------------------------------
There then. Are there any questions?
You can well imagine my flabbergastion.
I tried to explain that Easter was not, strictly speaking, a Jewish event - while the root of the holiday may have been a Jewish celebration, the calculation of the date of Easter is based on strange Papal math (first Sunday after the Paschal Full Moon after March 20) so that it does not match with the Jewish calendar. The Greeks have their own way of doing it (they're wrong, too).
In consequence, although Easter and Passover may at times coincide, they usually leap each other's frog as far as the exact dates are concerned.
Nor are they celebrated in similar ways - Passover is a joyous celebration of national liberation with multiple layers of meaning, whereas Easter is about egg-laying bunnies.
It became evident that my acquaintance was not at all familiar with the concept that calendars have ritual connotations, and that different creeds may, because of their particular ritual needs, have their own ideas about the calculation of dates.
[It was also clear that he was staggeringly uninformed about religion - but as that was probably a blessing I simply drifted over those lacunae in his database. Sometimes a crevasse may be merely a crevice.]
Afterwards it struck me that a simple calendar of the Jewish year might be helpful for some people - who knows, it might make something clear to somebody. At least they'll know what the Jews are doing at the time, and it will make everything more predictable.
It might even be of use for some of the FFF (far from frum) crowd.
So then. Sheer kindly helpfulness and a sincere love for my fellow man. A calendar.
THE JEWISH YEAR
1. TISHRI
Erev Rosh Hashanah: Anticipate.
Rosh Hashanah: Eat.
Shabbes Shuva (sometimes after Tzom Gdalia): Reflect.
Tzom Gdalia (sometimes before Shabbes Shuva): Do not eat.
Erev Yom Kippur: Anticipate.
Yom Kippur: Do not eat. Weep. Wail.
Erev Sukkos: Anticipate.
Sukkos: Have a seven day picnic in a shed, and a lemon.
Hoshanah Rabbah: Eat.
Shmini Atzeres: Eat more.
Simches Torah: Keep right on eating. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night.
2. CHESVAN
Cheshvan (whole month): Get over it. Do nothing for a month.
3. KISLEV
Chanukka: Eat potato flapjacks and burn the candles that the Supermercado on Avenida De Las Cruces sold in the kosher aisle last spring. Give socks for seven more days.
4. TEVES
[Note: One more pair of socks.]
Asara B'Teves (tenth of Teves): Do not eat.
Shabbes Shirah: Sing. Sea. Seashanty. Sing.
5. SHVAT
Tu B'Shvat: Eat.
Mefarsha: Tu B'shvat: Eat under a tree. Or (eat) tree produce. Or plant a tree. Or climb one. If you cannot find a tree, you may substitute a shrubbery - one that looks nice, and (is) not too expensive. [Source: Tzipporah]
Shabbes Shekelim: Ponder the counting of money.
6. ADAR
Taanis Ester: Do not eat.
Shabbes Zacher: Do not remember Amalek. Do not even think of Amalek. Don't. Just say no.
Purim: Eat, drink slivovitz, and be merry. Talk all night.
Shushan Purim: Be confused. What did you do last night?
Shabbes Parah: Think pure thoughts about heifers.
Shabbes Hachodesh: Be confused about calendars.
7. NISAN
Shabbes Hagodol: Think of sheep.
Taanis Bechoros: Starve the firstborn.
Erev Peysach: Buy candles in the kosher aisle of the Supermercado on Avenida De Las Cruces.
Peysach: Eat crackerbrød and salt water. Salad. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night. No beer and beans.
[You really want keep away from the beer-and-bean diet the rest of the year also. They make you ph&%T like an old woman. We told you.]
8. IYAR
Lag B'Omer: Set fire to something. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night.
9. SIVAN
Erev Shavues: Anticipate.
Shavues: Eat cheesecake and blintzes. Drink slivovitz. Talk all night.
10. TAMUZ
Tzom Tamuz (on the 17th. Of Tamuz): Be utterly miserable!
11. AV
Shabbes Chazon: Think of the destruction of the Beis Mikdash.
Tisha B'Av: Do not eat. Avoid thinking about food, even crackerbrød and salt water. Or salad. Especially do not think of cheesecake, blintzes, and slivovitz.
Shabbes Nachamu: Be sort of consoled.
Catskills: Rent a cockalone.
12. ELUL
Elul (whole month): Shvitz in shul.
Note: If it isn't any one of the events listed above, just think deep thoughts and lead a clean life. You're probably doing something horribly wrong anyway, but if your shvigger doesn't know about it, it isn't that important.
------------------------------------
There then. Are there any questions?
HEATHEN! HEATHEN! HEATHEN! AND BALLS!
Tzipporah (http://www.midianitemanna.blogspot.com/) has a posting about gefilte fish. In it, she advocates usage of certain good ingredients, and makes some worthwhile suggestions.
[See here: http://midianitemanna.blogspot.com/2007/04/good-gefilte-fish.html]
Alert readers (meaning people who don't need three double-shot espressos to read my blog) will remember that a while back I posted something about gefilte fish myself.
[See here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/08/as-american-as-gefilte-fish.html]
When making REAL gefilte fish, I will incorporate both Tzipporah's and Robbie's great aunt Sarah's approaches - all recipes are meant to be modified, and a written recipe is simply a road-map. It is perfectly okay to head off the beaten track into the bracken to smell the salmon-flavoured butterflies.
But I will now also confess to a completely heathen practice - I buy the bottles of gefilte fish in jellied broth.
There is nothing like them.
They are perfect for fish ball curry.
All that is needed to jack 'em up a bit are chilies, coconut milk, coriander, galangal, ginger, lemongrass, and turmeric. Plus cilantro and parsley.
The basic approach is to take the rice noodles and rinse them under cold water. Then place them in boiling water to cook. Meanwhile, haul the bottle of gefilte fish in jellied broth out of the fridge, remove one or two balls and their broth, and place them in a second sauce pan with the addition of half a cup of coconut milk (one can is about a cup and a half - if you are not going to use the remainder soon, which I can hardly imagine, store the can in the deepfreeze), a cup of water, plus a few slices of ginger, a stalk of lemon grass that you have whacked to bruise, plus the chilies and the spices.
I give no proportions for the chilies - you yourself know how much you need.
As regards spices, twice as much ground coriander as turmeric. And maybe as much dried galangal as turmeric. Or slightly more. Plus a pinch of cinnamon, or even mace. Do not overdo the spices, because you want the fresh ingredients (chilies, ginger and lemon grass) to dominate.
[It is just as valid to simply add a bit of a Thai curry paste (whichever kind of curry paste you prefer - it's going into your mouth, so you decide).]
Simmer the fish balls briefly. The rice noodles, when done, drained, and rinsed, are added to provide bulk, starch, and a textural contrast. Add some chopped cucumber, and squeeze a lime over. Garnish extremely liberally with cilantro and parsley.
[Use an excessive amount of cilantro and parsley - it is the vegetable in this dish, and very good for the digestion.]
Now go sit in front of the teevee and happily scarf it down while watching John Stewart read the news.
If you have timed it right, you can even make yourself a cup of strong cardamom tea before the show starts.
[See here: http://midianitemanna.blogspot.com/2007/04/good-gefilte-fish.html]
Alert readers (meaning people who don't need three double-shot espressos to read my blog) will remember that a while back I posted something about gefilte fish myself.
[See here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/08/as-american-as-gefilte-fish.html]
When making REAL gefilte fish, I will incorporate both Tzipporah's and Robbie's great aunt Sarah's approaches - all recipes are meant to be modified, and a written recipe is simply a road-map. It is perfectly okay to head off the beaten track into the bracken to smell the salmon-flavoured butterflies.
But I will now also confess to a completely heathen practice - I buy the bottles of gefilte fish in jellied broth.
There is nothing like them.
They are perfect for fish ball curry.
All that is needed to jack 'em up a bit are chilies, coconut milk, coriander, galangal, ginger, lemongrass, and turmeric. Plus cilantro and parsley.
The basic approach is to take the rice noodles and rinse them under cold water. Then place them in boiling water to cook. Meanwhile, haul the bottle of gefilte fish in jellied broth out of the fridge, remove one or two balls and their broth, and place them in a second sauce pan with the addition of half a cup of coconut milk (one can is about a cup and a half - if you are not going to use the remainder soon, which I can hardly imagine, store the can in the deepfreeze), a cup of water, plus a few slices of ginger, a stalk of lemon grass that you have whacked to bruise, plus the chilies and the spices.
I give no proportions for the chilies - you yourself know how much you need.
As regards spices, twice as much ground coriander as turmeric. And maybe as much dried galangal as turmeric. Or slightly more. Plus a pinch of cinnamon, or even mace. Do not overdo the spices, because you want the fresh ingredients (chilies, ginger and lemon grass) to dominate.
[It is just as valid to simply add a bit of a Thai curry paste (whichever kind of curry paste you prefer - it's going into your mouth, so you decide).]
Simmer the fish balls briefly. The rice noodles, when done, drained, and rinsed, are added to provide bulk, starch, and a textural contrast. Add some chopped cucumber, and squeeze a lime over. Garnish extremely liberally with cilantro and parsley.
[Use an excessive amount of cilantro and parsley - it is the vegetable in this dish, and very good for the digestion.]
Now go sit in front of the teevee and happily scarf it down while watching John Stewart read the news.
If you have timed it right, you can even make yourself a cup of strong cardamom tea before the show starts.
Monday, April 09, 2007
IN EVERY GENERATION
I attended a lovely seder at the beginning of the chag.
Which, upon reading about other people's seders, is something that jumps sharply into brilliant focus.
Renreb had a seder with several hundred "Phil".
In preparation for which, her most excellent new pajamas (the soft and fuzzy yellow pajamas with the little plushy kitty cats appliqued all over them) were rendered uninhabitable, what with oil and matzah dust, spatter and specks of potato peel.
I'm not even going to mention what could've happened to her tablecloth. You'll just have to cruise on over and read her here:
http://renegaderebbetzin.blogspot.com/2007/04/pajama-highlights-and-more.html
There were no disasters at the seder I attended, despite huge numbers of plastic frogs, toads, and insects flying through the air, baby marshmallows all over (both barad and kinim), and a generous quantity of slivovitz all round.
No spillage whatsoever. The celebration of herut was accomplished with supernatural coordination.
As, indeed, is made clear in the hagadah.
We would've discussed the meaning of passover all the way till zman krias shema, but some of us had to get back to the city while the trains were still running.
The next morning I realized that I really should've brought the tupperware container with the frogs over to the East-Bay.
-----------------------------------------
No, they aren't live frogs. They are small and large rubber froggim, which I acquired during a three month fit of perversion while working at a frog-themed company. By populating my in-box, and the section of my desk which fronted the aisle, with these frogs, I sought to keep people from overloading me with work.
Which seemed to succeed - can't drop another file where there is no space because of all the frogs. Can't object to the frogs either - frog-themed company, remember?
I associate frogs with freedom.
I shall now also associate them with slivovitz.
Frogs in every generation.
-----------------------------------------
Renreb's blog is here:
http://renegaderebbetzin.blogspot.com/
And while I'm recommending reading material, have you checked out Robbie's aunt yet?
You should. Here:
http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/2007/04/robbies-recipes-part-3-aunt-sarah_2337.html
-----------------------------------------
Regular writing in the olam ha bloggim will resume this week. Bate your breath just a little longer.
Which, upon reading about other people's seders, is something that jumps sharply into brilliant focus.
Renreb had a seder with several hundred "Phil".
In preparation for which, her most excellent new pajamas (the soft and fuzzy yellow pajamas with the little plushy kitty cats appliqued all over them) were rendered uninhabitable, what with oil and matzah dust, spatter and specks of potato peel.
I'm not even going to mention what could've happened to her tablecloth. You'll just have to cruise on over and read her here:
http://renegaderebbetzin.blogspot.com/2007/04/pajama-highlights-and-more.html
There were no disasters at the seder I attended, despite huge numbers of plastic frogs, toads, and insects flying through the air, baby marshmallows all over (both barad and kinim), and a generous quantity of slivovitz all round.
No spillage whatsoever. The celebration of herut was accomplished with supernatural coordination.
As, indeed, is made clear in the hagadah.
We would've discussed the meaning of passover all the way till zman krias shema, but some of us had to get back to the city while the trains were still running.
The next morning I realized that I really should've brought the tupperware container with the frogs over to the East-Bay.
-----------------------------------------
No, they aren't live frogs. They are small and large rubber froggim, which I acquired during a three month fit of perversion while working at a frog-themed company. By populating my in-box, and the section of my desk which fronted the aisle, with these frogs, I sought to keep people from overloading me with work.
Which seemed to succeed - can't drop another file where there is no space because of all the frogs. Can't object to the frogs either - frog-themed company, remember?
I associate frogs with freedom.
I shall now also associate them with slivovitz.
Frogs in every generation.
-----------------------------------------
Renreb's blog is here:
http://renegaderebbetzin.blogspot.com/
And while I'm recommending reading material, have you checked out Robbie's aunt yet?
You should. Here:
http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/2007/04/robbies-recipes-part-3-aunt-sarah_2337.html
-----------------------------------------
Regular writing in the olam ha bloggim will resume this week. Bate your breath just a little longer.
ONE KOSHER, THREE NOT
Follows a detailing of four dishes in follow-up to a question about Surinamese bloedworst (boudin noir) on a mailing list to which I belong. The conversation had progressed to the point where questions about the availibility of the main ingredient arose.
Please note two things:
ONE - The conversation is in Dutch (Italic), but the recipes I sent for comparison are in English (bold);
TWO - These recipes are all more or less treif.
The only one which can be modified to a state of nontreifity is adobo, if one uses chicken instead of pork. But it is also very good with goat.
Many things are very good with goat.
[Update: turns out I can't even count up to two - both adobo AND paksiw can be made kosher. For adobo, the traditional non-pork is chicken, for paksiw the traditional non-pork is fish. Remember, kaskeses! But one could also make vegetarian versions, which would by the standards of the average Philippino not really be main dishes. And I've also had fish-adobo - someone who is shtreng about considering coconut milk as dairy could very well make a fish adobo with coconut milk added to great advantage. A pinch of turmeric is often added to coconutmilk dishes, as well as some ginger. ]
--------------------------------
Beste Sigi et al,
Indien ge in een grote Amerikaansche metropool woont, kunt ge bij een Philippijnsche winkel varkens bloed (dugo na babuy) verkrijgen. Vaak ook in een Chineesche slagerij (Cantoneesch: Tjuu-hoet (Ned.), ‘chu-huet’ (Eng.)). Alternatievelijk, zo ge een Louisianeesch kent, vraag of hij ooit een boucherie bijwoont – men laat de kleintjes het uitvergoten bloed van het slachtvarken omroeren opdat het niet stollen zal. Varkensbloed is het hoofdbestanddeel van boudin noir.
Philippijners gebruiken het voor ‘dinuguan’, zuid-Chineeschen voor diverse gerechten.
Dinuguan, hetgeen de Philippijnsche eethuis werknemer aan de mukang puti (‘white face’) zal uitleggen als “Oh, dat’s ‘chocklit’ meat…. You wouldn’t like”, is een van een reeks gerechten die eigenlijk nogal veel op elkaar lijken.
Allen hebben azijn als smaakgever, en zijn dienovereenkomstig ietsje langer houdbaar – belangrijk in ‘n warm klimaat.
De term dinuguan is afgeleid van ‘dugo’, Tagalog voor bloed, met concept-infix ‘-in-‘, waarmede een afgeleid begrip of voorwerp bedoeld word. Bloederigheid, dus. In Ilocano lijkt het woord een beetje meer op de Indonesische talen: dinaga’an. In delen van het zuiden zal men over ‘dumagon’ spreken.
Hieronder voor de geinteresseerden ‘n recept voor dinuguan uit een schrijven aan een colega enkele jaren terug (die overigens na het lezen ervan zich misselijk voelde – stupid darn ‘meat’n’potatoes wasp’).
DINUGUAN
1 Lbs fatty pork, diced or chunks
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, chopped
1/4 Lbs pork liver, diced
1/2 cup vinegar
2 tablespoon amber fish sauce
1/2 cup stock
1 cup frozen pig blood (dugo na babuy - available at some Philippino or Vietnamese stores)
2 teaspoons Sugar
Cook pork in stock with water to cover for about half an hour. Sautee onion and garlic in a separate pan till golden and fragrant, then add the liver. When the liver is tender mash coarsely with a fork, and add to the pan with the pork chunks. Pour in the vinegar and the fish sauce, and simmer for about twenty minutes. Then add the pig blood and the sugar, and cook, stirring, for another ten to fifteen minutes.
Ter vergelijking, ‘n andere populaire recept, deswelks die zelfde colega ook niet blij stemde.
PAKSIW
One pound fatty pork, or a nice fish, chunked.
Half a cup vinegar
One tablespoon amber fish sauce
Minced ginger and garlic
One teaspoon sugar
A mild or hot chili pepper, left whole
Mix all ingredients except the pork or fish, and bring to a boil. Turn low and simmer for five or ten minutes before adding the pork or fish. Pork will need over an hour, fish no more than ten minutes. Pork may therefore require more liquid, fish less.
Note: chunks of lechon (roast pig) are often also cooked this way.
Paksiw en dinuguan lijken ook enigzins op het meest bekende Philippijnsche gerecht, Adobo:
ADOBO
1 LBS pork or chicken, chunk cut
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon peppercorns
1 or 2 bay leaves
1/4 cup vinegar or enough to cover meat
2 tablespoons soy sauce
In a heavy saucepan, combine all ingredients. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until meat is tender and the liquid is much reduced.
If meat is still tough and there is no more stock, add 2 Tablespoons hot water and continue simmering.
When the meat is tender, brown the meat slightly in its own fat.
[Note: I usually add some tomato paste and coconut milk (santen) to this.]
En, in verband met al het bovenstaande, natuurlijk een deels vergelijkbaar recept uit de Indo keuken, waar bloed in fungeerd, namelijk zwartzuur:
ZWARTZUUR
One LBS of meat, chunk cut; duck, hare, or chicken.
One onion, chopped
One teaspoon mace or ground nutmeg
Half teaspoon whole peppercorns
Two or three whole cloves
A generous pinch powdered cinnamon
One cup good stock
One cup red wine
2 tablespoons reserved blood from the animal, mixed with a squeeze of lime juice to keep it from congealing
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
Small squeeze of lime juice to finish
Rub the mace and cinnamon into the meat, with a little oil to facilitate.
Cook the meat and onions till fragrant and golden in a little butter or oil. Then add everything except the reserved blood, sugar, and soy sauce. Simmer on low until reduced by half. Now add the remaining ingredients, and simmer, stirring, for another ten minutes. Squeeze the lime over and serve.
Note I: one can do a whole duck breast this way, slicing it after cooking and serving with the sauce draped over.
Note II: If no blood is available, increase the soy sauce slightly.
Alle bovenvermelde gerechten opdienen met wat rijst, laplap, en sambal. Knoflook azijn, Louisiana hot-sauce, en visse saus (Tagalog: patis) in scheut-flesjes op tafel, alzook voor de ‘meat’n’potatoes wasps’ wat tomaten ketchup, en aardappelen.
Eet smakelijk.
--------------------------------
And, as if it really makes any difference, please note that regular vinegar is not useable for two more days, and rice is also out of the question. Unless that stringency is not one that you follow.
Please note two things:
ONE - The conversation is in Dutch (Italic), but the recipes I sent for comparison are in English (bold);
TWO - These recipes are all more or less treif.
The only one which can be modified to a state of nontreifity is adobo, if one uses chicken instead of pork. But it is also very good with goat.
Many things are very good with goat.
[Update: turns out I can't even count up to two - both adobo AND paksiw can be made kosher. For adobo, the traditional non-pork is chicken, for paksiw the traditional non-pork is fish. Remember, kaskeses! But one could also make vegetarian versions, which would by the standards of the average Philippino not really be main dishes. And I've also had fish-adobo - someone who is shtreng about considering coconut milk as dairy could very well make a fish adobo with coconut milk added to great advantage. A pinch of turmeric is often added to coconutmilk dishes, as well as some ginger. ]
--------------------------------
Beste Sigi et al,
Indien ge in een grote Amerikaansche metropool woont, kunt ge bij een Philippijnsche winkel varkens bloed (dugo na babuy) verkrijgen. Vaak ook in een Chineesche slagerij (Cantoneesch: Tjuu-hoet (Ned.), ‘chu-huet’ (Eng.)). Alternatievelijk, zo ge een Louisianeesch kent, vraag of hij ooit een boucherie bijwoont – men laat de kleintjes het uitvergoten bloed van het slachtvarken omroeren opdat het niet stollen zal. Varkensbloed is het hoofdbestanddeel van boudin noir.
Philippijners gebruiken het voor ‘dinuguan’, zuid-Chineeschen voor diverse gerechten.
Dinuguan, hetgeen de Philippijnsche eethuis werknemer aan de mukang puti (‘white face’) zal uitleggen als “Oh, dat’s ‘chocklit’ meat…. You wouldn’t like”, is een van een reeks gerechten die eigenlijk nogal veel op elkaar lijken.
Allen hebben azijn als smaakgever, en zijn dienovereenkomstig ietsje langer houdbaar – belangrijk in ‘n warm klimaat.
De term dinuguan is afgeleid van ‘dugo’, Tagalog voor bloed, met concept-infix ‘-in-‘, waarmede een afgeleid begrip of voorwerp bedoeld word. Bloederigheid, dus. In Ilocano lijkt het woord een beetje meer op de Indonesische talen: dinaga’an. In delen van het zuiden zal men over ‘dumagon’ spreken.
Hieronder voor de geinteresseerden ‘n recept voor dinuguan uit een schrijven aan een colega enkele jaren terug (die overigens na het lezen ervan zich misselijk voelde – stupid darn ‘meat’n’potatoes wasp’).
DINUGUAN
1 Lbs fatty pork, diced or chunks
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, chopped
1/4 Lbs pork liver, diced
1/2 cup vinegar
2 tablespoon amber fish sauce
1/2 cup stock
1 cup frozen pig blood (dugo na babuy - available at some Philippino or Vietnamese stores)
2 teaspoons Sugar
Cook pork in stock with water to cover for about half an hour. Sautee onion and garlic in a separate pan till golden and fragrant, then add the liver. When the liver is tender mash coarsely with a fork, and add to the pan with the pork chunks. Pour in the vinegar and the fish sauce, and simmer for about twenty minutes. Then add the pig blood and the sugar, and cook, stirring, for another ten to fifteen minutes.
Ter vergelijking, ‘n andere populaire recept, deswelks die zelfde colega ook niet blij stemde.
PAKSIW
One pound fatty pork, or a nice fish, chunked.
Half a cup vinegar
One tablespoon amber fish sauce
Minced ginger and garlic
One teaspoon sugar
A mild or hot chili pepper, left whole
Mix all ingredients except the pork or fish, and bring to a boil. Turn low and simmer for five or ten minutes before adding the pork or fish. Pork will need over an hour, fish no more than ten minutes. Pork may therefore require more liquid, fish less.
Note: chunks of lechon (roast pig) are often also cooked this way.
Paksiw en dinuguan lijken ook enigzins op het meest bekende Philippijnsche gerecht, Adobo:
ADOBO
1 LBS pork or chicken, chunk cut
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon peppercorns
1 or 2 bay leaves
1/4 cup vinegar or enough to cover meat
2 tablespoons soy sauce
In a heavy saucepan, combine all ingredients. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until meat is tender and the liquid is much reduced.
If meat is still tough and there is no more stock, add 2 Tablespoons hot water and continue simmering.
When the meat is tender, brown the meat slightly in its own fat.
[Note: I usually add some tomato paste and coconut milk (santen) to this.]
En, in verband met al het bovenstaande, natuurlijk een deels vergelijkbaar recept uit de Indo keuken, waar bloed in fungeerd, namelijk zwartzuur:
ZWARTZUUR
One LBS of meat, chunk cut; duck, hare, or chicken.
One onion, chopped
One teaspoon mace or ground nutmeg
Half teaspoon whole peppercorns
Two or three whole cloves
A generous pinch powdered cinnamon
One cup good stock
One cup red wine
2 tablespoons reserved blood from the animal, mixed with a squeeze of lime juice to keep it from congealing
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
Small squeeze of lime juice to finish
Rub the mace and cinnamon into the meat, with a little oil to facilitate.
Cook the meat and onions till fragrant and golden in a little butter or oil. Then add everything except the reserved blood, sugar, and soy sauce. Simmer on low until reduced by half. Now add the remaining ingredients, and simmer, stirring, for another ten minutes. Squeeze the lime over and serve.
Note I: one can do a whole duck breast this way, slicing it after cooking and serving with the sauce draped over.
Note II: If no blood is available, increase the soy sauce slightly.
Alle bovenvermelde gerechten opdienen met wat rijst, laplap, en sambal. Knoflook azijn, Louisiana hot-sauce, en visse saus (Tagalog: patis) in scheut-flesjes op tafel, alzook voor de ‘meat’n’potatoes wasps’ wat tomaten ketchup, en aardappelen.
Eet smakelijk.
--------------------------------
And, as if it really makes any difference, please note that regular vinegar is not useable for two more days, and rice is also out of the question. Unless that stringency is not one that you follow.
Friday, April 06, 2007
THEY'VE GOT BENAZIR BHUTTO, PERVEZ MUSHARRAF, SEVERAL MILLION NUTBALLS, AND AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY NEED TRUTH?
Lovely incendiary stuff from the Times of India [an Indian newspaper whose internet-page you will find here: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/]
---[CUT]---
And of course the question that must be asked is why is she “revealing” this?
If one takes for granted that a Pakistani politician is by nature a congenital liar, and one recognizes the pattern that all Pakistani politicians will sabotage all other Pakistani politicians, and one further assumes that there can never be a Pakistani politician who does not assert a claim to Kashmir, then what is clear is that if Musharraf did make that offer he was trying to sabotage the chureil, and her refusal was motivated by the wish not have him rise in stature.
A disastrous war would have reflected badly on her, any battlefield victories would have lent glory to him.
No Pakistani prime minister would take such a risk – an actual war with India would wreck his or her career.
Many Pakistani generals however would suggest it – in order to then garner support for a move against the adventurism of politicians, who clearly do not understand the fragility of the situation and the risks involved, and who would ruin Pakistan for their own advantage.
Kashmir = the great Paki rhetorical weapon. Use it on other Pakistani politicians, use it on the public, use it on the ulema, and use it on the ignorant tribals. But for MuhammadAliJinnah’s sake, never actually use it!
Recklessly eliminating the Kashmir issue (by conquest OR by comprehensive peace) would destroy the unifying cause AND the armory of the Pakistani ruling class.
Without the Kashmir issue, Pakistan would fall apart. The glue of Pakistani nationhood would dissolve without Kashmir.
Entirely aside from which, Benazir Bhutto is such a compulsive liar that it is hard to imagine her uncovering any fragment of fact, let alone saying anything mostly truthful.
[Like almost all Pakistani politicians, she is a psychopath from a dysfunctional clan of psychopaths - in her case, politically meddlesome Sindhi zamindars (feudal landholders).]
Pakistani politicians have the ability to turn the smallest fragment of the truth into the most poisonous fiction, and to embroider any falsehood until it becomes the revealed word, the divine prophecy, and the very foundation of a supra-verity much better than actual reality.
A Pakistani politician who breathes, lies. It's a gift. It's an art. It is poetry.
Musharraf made an offer to conquer Kashmir, reveals Bhutto
[ 6 Apr, 2007 2051hrs ISTPTI ]
NEW DELHI: In a "startling revelation", former Pakistan Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto has claimed that Pervez Musharraf in 1996 had sought her permission to "take" Kashmir by assuming control of Srinagar, a suggestion she had shot down.
Bhutto made this claim in the revised edition of her autobiography "Benazir Bhutto: Daughter of the East" released in Britain this week.
Musharraf, then a major general and director of military operations, had concluded a briefing to Bhutto with the words that "a ceasefire would be in place and Pakistan would be in control of Srinagar."
"I asked him, 'And what next?' He was surprised by my question, and said, 'Next we will put the flag of Pakistan on the Srinagar Parliament'," she wrote in her autobiography.
[ 6 Apr, 2007 2051hrs ISTPTI ]
NEW DELHI: In a "startling revelation", former Pakistan Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto has claimed that Pervez Musharraf in 1996 had sought her permission to "take" Kashmir by assuming control of Srinagar, a suggestion she had shot down.
Bhutto made this claim in the revised edition of her autobiography "Benazir Bhutto: Daughter of the East" released in Britain this week.
Musharraf, then a major general and director of military operations, had concluded a briefing to Bhutto with the words that "a ceasefire would be in place and Pakistan would be in control of Srinagar."
"I asked him, 'And what next?' He was surprised by my question, and said, 'Next we will put the flag of Pakistan on the Srinagar Parliament'," she wrote in her autobiography.
---[CUT]---
Read the rest of the article here:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Musharraf_made_an_offer_to_conquer_Kashmir_Bhutto/articleshow/1867518.cms
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Musharraf_made_an_offer_to_conquer_Kashmir_Bhutto/articleshow/1867518.cms
[Times of India: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/ ]
And of course the question that must be asked is why is she “revealing” this?
If one takes for granted that a Pakistani politician is by nature a congenital liar, and one recognizes the pattern that all Pakistani politicians will sabotage all other Pakistani politicians, and one further assumes that there can never be a Pakistani politician who does not assert a claim to Kashmir, then what is clear is that if Musharraf did make that offer he was trying to sabotage the chureil, and her refusal was motivated by the wish not have him rise in stature.
A disastrous war would have reflected badly on her, any battlefield victories would have lent glory to him.
No Pakistani prime minister would take such a risk – an actual war with India would wreck his or her career.
Many Pakistani generals however would suggest it – in order to then garner support for a move against the adventurism of politicians, who clearly do not understand the fragility of the situation and the risks involved, and who would ruin Pakistan for their own advantage.
Kashmir = the great Paki rhetorical weapon. Use it on other Pakistani politicians, use it on the public, use it on the ulema, and use it on the ignorant tribals. But for MuhammadAliJinnah’s sake, never actually use it!
Recklessly eliminating the Kashmir issue (by conquest OR by comprehensive peace) would destroy the unifying cause AND the armory of the Pakistani ruling class.
Without the Kashmir issue, Pakistan would fall apart. The glue of Pakistani nationhood would dissolve without Kashmir.
Entirely aside from which, Benazir Bhutto is such a compulsive liar that it is hard to imagine her uncovering any fragment of fact, let alone saying anything mostly truthful.
[Like almost all Pakistani politicians, she is a psychopath from a dysfunctional clan of psychopaths - in her case, politically meddlesome Sindhi zamindars (feudal landholders).]
Pakistani politicians have the ability to turn the smallest fragment of the truth into the most poisonous fiction, and to embroider any falsehood until it becomes the revealed word, the divine prophecy, and the very foundation of a supra-verity much better than actual reality.
A Pakistani politician who breathes, lies. It's a gift. It's an art. It is poetry.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
OH MY, A MEME
[This meme is from Charismatic Megafauna (http://charismatic-megafauna.blogspot.com/), who more recently wrote about her cat, chrome plating cancer, bat daemons, vegetable eaters, and sex education.]
........long pause........
....Okay, I'm back now....
E- Essential Item? Reading glasses.
F- Favorite Color? Bright yellow walls. Green or blue pottery and porcelain. Two-tone pipe finish. Vermillion and indigo. Yellow ochre, raw sienna, burnt umber. Oxidized silver in pinks and dirty purples. Rust or brick red. Amber. Rose-pink lips. Creamy skin. Faint raspberry coloured.... This is all much too sensual.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Ick, poo. Heathen crap.
H- Hometown? Here.
I- Indulgence? Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring.
J- January or February? October.
K- Kids and names? None. You should've asked me about the stuffed animals.
L- Ellucidate reason for answer to question K: They've taken over the apartment, and are trying to steal my laundry money.
M- Marriage Date? No.
N- Number of Siblings? One.
O- Oranges or apples? Mangoes. Lovely underripe mangoes, which resemble.....
P- Phobias/Fears? An absence of Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring. Oh, and stuffed animals.
Q- Favorite Quote? "Plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize!"
R- Reason to Smile? Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring.
S- Season? Fire season. I'm glad I live here and not in Southern California.
T- Tag three people! Oh whatever. If you want to, go ahead.
U- Unknown fact about me? When I let down my hair and take off my glasses, why, why, I'm.... beautiful!.......
Oh wait, that's the librarian.
V- Vegetable you hate? Peas.
W- Weird or neurotic habit? None. I'm refreshingly normal.
X- Teeth? Yes, many.
Y- Your favorite food? Oh crud, what a boring question! What time is it? Tea time? Then crumpets.
Z- Zodiac? I don't believe in that nonsense, and neither should you.
A- Available or single? No.
B- Best Friend? Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring.
C- Cake or Pie? Cake. It sounds so happy. Say it: 'CAKE!'
D- Drink of Choice? Tea. It is always time for tea. And if it isn't, it is bound to be teatime somewhere. So, in solidarity with elsewhere, I'll have some tea.
B- Best Friend? Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring.
C- Cake or Pie? Cake. It sounds so happy. Say it: 'CAKE!'
D- Drink of Choice? Tea. It is always time for tea. And if it isn't, it is bound to be teatime somewhere. So, in solidarity with elsewhere, I'll have some tea.
........long pause........
....Okay, I'm back now....
E- Essential Item? Reading glasses.
F- Favorite Color? Bright yellow walls. Green or blue pottery and porcelain. Two-tone pipe finish. Vermillion and indigo. Yellow ochre, raw sienna, burnt umber. Oxidized silver in pinks and dirty purples. Rust or brick red. Amber. Rose-pink lips. Creamy skin. Faint raspberry coloured.... This is all much too sensual.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Ick, poo. Heathen crap.
H- Hometown? Here.
I- Indulgence? Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring.
J- January or February? October.
K- Kids and names? None. You should've asked me about the stuffed animals.
L- Ellucidate reason for answer to question K: They've taken over the apartment, and are trying to steal my laundry money.
M- Marriage Date? No.
N- Number of Siblings? One.
O- Oranges or apples? Mangoes. Lovely underripe mangoes, which resemble.....
P- Phobias/Fears? An absence of Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring. Oh, and stuffed animals.
Q- Favorite Quote? "Plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize!"
R- Reason to Smile? Latakia. No wait, Keemun tea. No wait, herring. Yes, that's it, herring.
S- Season? Fire season. I'm glad I live here and not in Southern California.
T- Tag three people! Oh whatever. If you want to, go ahead.
U- Unknown fact about me? When I let down my hair and take off my glasses, why, why, I'm.... beautiful!
Oh wait, that's the librarian.
V- Vegetable you hate? Peas.
W- Weird or neurotic habit? None. I'm refreshingly normal.
X- Teeth? Yes, many.
Y- Your favorite food? Oh crud, what a boring question! What time is it? Tea time? Then crumpets.
Z- Zodiac? I don't believe in that nonsense, and neither should you.
THREE IN BRIEF
Number the first:
I have added 'Midianite Manna' to my blogroll ( http://www.midianitemanna.blogspot.com/ ).
I would've done so sooner, but until it was clear that she was ready to step into the bloglight, I held off. Then I saw a post of hers featured on Dovbear (here: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/03/medium-quality-post.html ).
Well okay then. Cat out of bag, so to speak.
I enjoy reading her (especially her comments on certain other blogs, like, fer instance, Dovbear's feuilleton http://dovbear.blogspot.com/ ). I think you will too.
Number the second:
Robbie ( http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/ ) wishes you a chag sameach, and has some recipes.
Robbie's aunt Sarah ALSO has some recipes...... but to get them, you will have to go to Robbie's blog (this posting: http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/2007/04/robbies-recipes-part-3-aunt-sarah_2337.html ).
Potato kugel, matzah balls, and gefilte fish.
You might also note his blog-posting labels. The recent food postings seem to be labelled as 'jewy jew jew'.
I cannot wait until the logical corrolary shows up: Southern barbecue under 'goooey goy guys'.
Number the third:
Vesom sechel (Rabbi Joshua Maroof http://vesomsechel.blogspot.com/) has a long posting wich you should actually have read a few days ago, before Peysach started (here: http://vesomsechel.blogspot.com/2007/03/pesah-and-matsah-and-maror-but-why.html) but it is never too late.
He also has a guide to the laws of Passover (here: http://vesomsechel.blogspot.com/2007/03/guide-to-laws-of-passover.html).
Again, it would've been better had I seen this before the holiday started - my fault, I was somewhat preoccupied. But it is never too late.
Note: The final line of his guide is somewhat amusing: "One should make every effort to complete the entire Seder , including Hallel, before "midnight" (in Rockville this year, 1:12 AM; in NYC, 12:59 AM). If this is not possible, one should at least eat the afikoman before this time."
Why amusing?
Because the midnight it refers to is based on Halachic hours, which are the equal divisions of the time between sunrise and sunset, and therefore vary from place to place and day to day as the seasons wax and wane.
According to the Rambam, an hour according to Halacha is one precise twelfth of daylight - in summer, the hours are longer than in winter. But that means that a day is from the beginning of the light of day (whenever that is - also a problem) to the end of the light of day (and, like dawn, also problem). This is not how the Torah tells it - we know that a day begins at nightfall. But for calculation purposes, the halachic hour takes the period between sunrise and sunset into account.
In addition, nightfall is defined as the appearance of stars - which varies also, most of the time being before sunset, sometimes after (it isn't haphazard, but can actually be calculated, though I will not bore you or myself with the details).
What all of this means is that the day, for time-measuring purposes, is taken to begin at a point between dawn and sunrise, and end at a point between sunset and the appearance of stars. The exact points cannot be determined, ergo the precise division of time necessarily has a fuzziness. Halachically, the time in between dawn and sunrise, and the time in between sunset and the appearance of stars, is both day and night, and neither day nor night.
And again, this varies from place to place and season to season. Time is strictly local, and dependent upon strictly local time.
Midnight is a zen concept.
I have added 'Midianite Manna' to my blogroll ( http://www.midianitemanna.blogspot.com/ ).
I would've done so sooner, but until it was clear that she was ready to step into the bloglight, I held off. Then I saw a post of hers featured on Dovbear (here: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/03/medium-quality-post.html ).
Well okay then. Cat out of bag, so to speak.
I enjoy reading her (especially her comments on certain other blogs, like, fer instance, Dovbear's feuilleton http://dovbear.blogspot.com/ ). I think you will too.
Number the second:
Robbie ( http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/ ) wishes you a chag sameach, and has some recipes.
Robbie's aunt Sarah ALSO has some recipes...... but to get them, you will have to go to Robbie's blog (this posting: http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/2007/04/robbies-recipes-part-3-aunt-sarah_2337.html ).
Potato kugel, matzah balls, and gefilte fish.
You might also note his blog-posting labels. The recent food postings seem to be labelled as 'jewy jew jew'.
I cannot wait until the logical corrolary shows up: Southern barbecue under 'goooey goy guys'.
Number the third:
Vesom sechel (Rabbi Joshua Maroof http://vesomsechel.blogspot.com/) has a long posting wich you should actually have read a few days ago, before Peysach started (here: http://vesomsechel.blogspot.com/2007/03/pesah-and-matsah-and-maror-but-why.html) but it is never too late.
He also has a guide to the laws of Passover (here: http://vesomsechel.blogspot.com/2007/03/guide-to-laws-of-passover.html).
Again, it would've been better had I seen this before the holiday started - my fault, I was somewhat preoccupied. But it is never too late.
Note: The final line of his guide is somewhat amusing: "One should make every effort to complete the entire Seder , including Hallel, before "midnight" (in Rockville this year, 1:12 AM; in NYC, 12:59 AM). If this is not possible, one should at least eat the afikoman before this time."
Why amusing?
Because the midnight it refers to is based on Halachic hours, which are the equal divisions of the time between sunrise and sunset, and therefore vary from place to place and day to day as the seasons wax and wane.
According to the Rambam, an hour according to Halacha is one precise twelfth of daylight - in summer, the hours are longer than in winter. But that means that a day is from the beginning of the light of day (whenever that is - also a problem) to the end of the light of day (and, like dawn, also problem). This is not how the Torah tells it - we know that a day begins at nightfall. But for calculation purposes, the halachic hour takes the period between sunrise and sunset into account.
In addition, nightfall is defined as the appearance of stars - which varies also, most of the time being before sunset, sometimes after (it isn't haphazard, but can actually be calculated, though I will not bore you or myself with the details).
What all of this means is that the day, for time-measuring purposes, is taken to begin at a point between dawn and sunrise, and end at a point between sunset and the appearance of stars. The exact points cannot be determined, ergo the precise division of time necessarily has a fuzziness. Halachically, the time in between dawn and sunrise, and the time in between sunset and the appearance of stars, is both day and night, and neither day nor night.
And again, this varies from place to place and season to season. Time is strictly local, and dependent upon strictly local time.
Midnight is a zen concept.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
HOW TO COOK A ZEBRA
Note: One of my long-time correspondents reminded me of the stuff I used to write on the Suriname mailing-list, in the days when ethnography, cuisine, and linguistics all combined into a heady stew - a stew flavoured with Dutch, Indonesian, English, Sranangtongo, and scraps of Sarnami Hindi. Surinamers represent some of the most broad-minded speakers of Dutch, with wide ranging interests, residing in a multitude of countries and climates. There are probably some living near you. Which is a blessing.
Dennis wrote: "In de trant van' how to cook zebra' ;-)."
You flatter me, my dear man. But, purely coincidentally, I do have some expertise in that field (having several years ago been associated with a company that sold bush meats).
So, here goes.
Zebra tastes rather like horse, being quite lean, but it can have a slight gaminess – remember, this is a wild animal.
It can be tough, and will definitely benefit from braising or stewing, although Boers may think it suitable for grilling - Boers think everything is suitable for grilling. Everything. If they made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they would grill them. Darned Braaivlees freaks.
You should be able to find zebra steaks and haunch cuts without too much trouble. All the recipes below can also be done with buffalo.
BRAISED ZEBRA
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
One pound tomatoes, peeled seeded and chopped.
Two onions, chopped.
Two TBS flour.
One Tsp. paprika.
Pinches salt, pepper, turmeric, coriander, cayenne.
One cup browned bone stock.
Quarter cup olive oil.
Quarter cup heavy cream.
A good jigger of sherry.
Fry the onion golden in the oil and remove to a plate.
Dust the meat with flour, salt, and pepper, and brown in oil. Add tomatoes and onions, stir briefly to take up the crusty bits on the bottom of the pan, then add the sherry, stock, and spices. Simmer until tender, which may take a while if the beast was old. Before serving, whisk in the heavy cream.
---
MABOKAY
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two cups of crumbled roasted peanuts.
Two large onions, chopped.
Juice from one or two lemons.
Half a dozen chopped green chilies.
Plantain leaf – one or two whole leaves.
Cook the peanuts, meat, and onion with a little water for about twenty minutes. It should be a stiff glop.
Take a leaf and pull off the central rib (cut across the rib, flip the edge of the blade underneath the rib, and pull). Trim the leaf to a large rectangle. Sprinkle some salt on the leaf, and place the meat mixture on one side. Flavour it with the lemon juice and chilies.
Now fold over all ends to make a secure package within several layers of plantain leaf, and tie it up like a postage parcel. Place on a rack in a large pot and steam for over an hour.
Unwrap at the table and serve with corn mush.
---
ZEBRA STAMPOT
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two onions, chopped.
Two tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and chopped.
Two green plantain, peeled and chunked.
Two sweet potatoes, chunked.
Two large regular potatoes, chunked.
Two or three chilies, minced.
One can (one and half cup) coconut milk (santen).
One or two cups browned bone stock.
Minced garlic, ginger.
Salt, pepper, plus pinches of ground clove and nutmeg.
Rub the garlic, ginger, chilies, salt, and pepper into the meat, and let it rest for one or two hours in the refrigerator.
Then brown it in a heavy casserole with a little oil. When it is well gilded, add the stock and spices, simmer for an hour.
Then add the vegetables and scant water to cover. Simmer until the vegetables are tender, then mash everything with a potato masher. If using meat on the bone from an odd cut, it would be a good idea to remove it from the bones before mashing. Mix in the coconut milk before serving.
---
ZEBRA MYEMBWE
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two onions, chopped.
Half a dozen tomatoes, peeled seeded and chopped.
One pound of spinach or chard, washed and chopped.
One cup of Myembwe sauce (moambé sauce, nyembwe sauce, or canned palm soup base aka sauce graine).
Juice of one or two lemons.
Garlic, ginger, chilies – minced.
Olive oil.
Pinch of salt.
Mix lemon juice with garlic, salt, and chilies. Wet meat with this and allow to marinate for an hour.
Brown the onions in a large casserole, then add the meat and brown also.
Add the tomatoes and water to generously cover, simmer for about an hour (longer if it was a tough old beast). Then add the chopped greens and the myembwe sauce, and cook till the vegetables are mooshy.
Serve with fried plantains and fufu or rice.
Please note: all of the dishes above can well be served with sakasaka (manioc greens).
I have a posting about manioc greens here:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/10/sakasaka-witiman-witiman.html
Feedback will be appreciated.
-----ATBOTH.
Update as of 2017: cooking zebra in rendang is excellent, but it is rather unsuitable for satay. Zebra mince ball curry is also very good, but unlike goat it benefits from additional fatty stuff thrown into the grinder.
White rice and Mother-in-law's Tongue Chutney alongside.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
-----------------------------------------------
Dennis wrote: "In de trant van' how to cook zebra' ;-)."
You flatter me, my dear man. But, purely coincidentally, I do have some expertise in that field (having several years ago been associated with a company that sold bush meats).
So, here goes.
Zebra tastes rather like horse, being quite lean, but it can have a slight gaminess – remember, this is a wild animal.
It can be tough, and will definitely benefit from braising or stewing, although Boers may think it suitable for grilling - Boers think everything is suitable for grilling. Everything. If they made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they would grill them. Darned Braaivlees freaks.
You should be able to find zebra steaks and haunch cuts without too much trouble. All the recipes below can also be done with buffalo.
BRAISED ZEBRA
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
One pound tomatoes, peeled seeded and chopped.
Two onions, chopped.
Two TBS flour.
One Tsp. paprika.
Pinches salt, pepper, turmeric, coriander, cayenne.
One cup browned bone stock.
Quarter cup olive oil.
Quarter cup heavy cream.
A good jigger of sherry.
Fry the onion golden in the oil and remove to a plate.
Dust the meat with flour, salt, and pepper, and brown in oil. Add tomatoes and onions, stir briefly to take up the crusty bits on the bottom of the pan, then add the sherry, stock, and spices. Simmer until tender, which may take a while if the beast was old. Before serving, whisk in the heavy cream.
---
MABOKAY
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two cups of crumbled roasted peanuts.
Two large onions, chopped.
Juice from one or two lemons.
Half a dozen chopped green chilies.
Plantain leaf – one or two whole leaves.
Cook the peanuts, meat, and onion with a little water for about twenty minutes. It should be a stiff glop.
Take a leaf and pull off the central rib (cut across the rib, flip the edge of the blade underneath the rib, and pull). Trim the leaf to a large rectangle. Sprinkle some salt on the leaf, and place the meat mixture on one side. Flavour it with the lemon juice and chilies.
Now fold over all ends to make a secure package within several layers of plantain leaf, and tie it up like a postage parcel. Place on a rack in a large pot and steam for over an hour.
Unwrap at the table and serve with corn mush.
---
ZEBRA STAMPOT
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two onions, chopped.
Two tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and chopped.
Two green plantain, peeled and chunked.
Two sweet potatoes, chunked.
Two large regular potatoes, chunked.
Two or three chilies, minced.
One can (one and half cup) coconut milk (santen).
One or two cups browned bone stock.
Minced garlic, ginger.
Salt, pepper, plus pinches of ground clove and nutmeg.
Rub the garlic, ginger, chilies, salt, and pepper into the meat, and let it rest for one or two hours in the refrigerator.
Then brown it in a heavy casserole with a little oil. When it is well gilded, add the stock and spices, simmer for an hour.
Then add the vegetables and scant water to cover. Simmer until the vegetables are tender, then mash everything with a potato masher. If using meat on the bone from an odd cut, it would be a good idea to remove it from the bones before mashing. Mix in the coconut milk before serving.
---
ZEBRA MYEMBWE
Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two onions, chopped.
Half a dozen tomatoes, peeled seeded and chopped.
One pound of spinach or chard, washed and chopped.
One cup of Myembwe sauce (moambé sauce, nyembwe sauce, or canned palm soup base aka sauce graine).
Juice of one or two lemons.
Garlic, ginger, chilies – minced.
Olive oil.
Pinch of salt.
Mix lemon juice with garlic, salt, and chilies. Wet meat with this and allow to marinate for an hour.
Brown the onions in a large casserole, then add the meat and brown also.
Add the tomatoes and water to generously cover, simmer for about an hour (longer if it was a tough old beast). Then add the chopped greens and the myembwe sauce, and cook till the vegetables are mooshy.
Serve with fried plantains and fufu or rice.
-----------------------------------------------
Please note: all of the dishes above can well be served with sakasaka (manioc greens).
I have a posting about manioc greens here:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/10/sakasaka-witiman-witiman.html
Feedback will be appreciated.
-----ATBOTH.
Update as of 2017: cooking zebra in rendang is excellent, but it is rather unsuitable for satay. Zebra mince ball curry is also very good, but unlike goat it benefits from additional fatty stuff thrown into the grinder.
White rice and Mother-in-law's Tongue Chutney alongside.
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
HORRIBLE PASSOVER PUN
Pre-ambular notations (read these first, before proceeding to the horrible pun):
Mechiras chometz = selling your chometz to a Gentile, in order to get rid of it without wasting it.
It is customary to sell all chometz one owns to a gentile before Peysach, in order to make certain that one has no chometzdikkes in one's possession for the duration of the festival. The sale has to be in all ways legitimate: the price has to be a fair one for the material being sold, the ownership of the material is with the gentile after the sale, and the gentile must have access to the material in order to use or enjoy it - you don't have to be Jewish to love Levi's rye bread. In apartment buildings one can claim that the basement, not being actually part of one's own dwelling, qualifies as a courtyard or common area, and thus that the storage of chometz is not on one's own premises.
Kinyan sudar = purchase by proxy (literally: acquisitition of a scarf); the legal acquisition, with documentation attesting thereto, of landed or moveable property, in which a scarf or other suitable object represents the object being sold. In relation to the selling of chometz, this is the method whereby stocks of chometz are transferred to a gentile owner for the duration, key element being that there must be believability to the transaction; the sale is honest, the gentile is the new owner, who may decide to sell the chometz back after peysach has passed, but is in no way obligated to do so.
Horrible pun:
"Did you hear about the sale of the brewery before passover?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"It was a beer mitzvah."
.
.
Sorry. I won't do it again.
Mechiras chometz = selling your chometz to a Gentile, in order to get rid of it without wasting it.
It is customary to sell all chometz one owns to a gentile before Peysach, in order to make certain that one has no chometzdikkes in one's possession for the duration of the festival. The sale has to be in all ways legitimate: the price has to be a fair one for the material being sold, the ownership of the material is with the gentile after the sale, and the gentile must have access to the material in order to use or enjoy it - you don't have to be Jewish to love Levi's rye bread. In apartment buildings one can claim that the basement, not being actually part of one's own dwelling, qualifies as a courtyard or common area, and thus that the storage of chometz is not on one's own premises.
Kinyan sudar = purchase by proxy (literally: acquisitition of a scarf); the legal acquisition, with documentation attesting thereto, of landed or moveable property, in which a scarf or other suitable object represents the object being sold. In relation to the selling of chometz, this is the method whereby stocks of chometz are transferred to a gentile owner for the duration, key element being that there must be believability to the transaction; the sale is honest, the gentile is the new owner, who may decide to sell the chometz back after peysach has passed, but is in no way obligated to do so.
Horrible pun:
"Did you hear about the sale of the brewery before passover?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"It was a beer mitzvah."
.
.
Sorry. I won't do it again.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
SMELLING LIKE A SOUTH EAST ASIAN SLUM: PETIS, TRASI, BULATJONG
I just realized that hardly any part of my life is compatible with kosher for Peysach.
I mean, I would have to get rid of almost my entire pantry.
A Dutch-American who cooks Asian food has nearly nothing which is not either chametz OR kitnios.
Soy sauce? Rice-wine? The weird Japanese pancake mix which Savage Kitten likes? Her huge bin of Texas double A, or my bin of Thai jasmine longrain? The regular glutinous, or the expensive pudding rice? Basmati?
Nix on all that.
My collection of hot sauces? Well, they weren't made with apple or grape vinegar..... and some of them wouldn't even be kosher le rest-of-the-year, let alone kosher le-Peysach. Reason being that they contain petis, trasi, or bulatjong.
If you have never even heard of petis, trasi, or bulatjong, trust me - there is no way that commercial versions can be considered kosher. Ever. No one has invented a vegetarian version either. There is no substitute.
GO FISH
But YOU could make them at home, using only fish that have snaper ve kaskeses.
[And by kaskeses are not meant kaskeses which are embedded like those of reptiles or small buggy things, but clearly visible kaskeses which can be easily scroped off with a knife, the test being that one can be pulled off without ripping or damaging the skin. This per both the Rambam and the Rema.]
[Note: If your fish vendor has skinned the fish, there is no way to ascertain that it was kosher. Just one more reason you shouldn't buy those factory processed fish-like products. Even if the sales person tells you what it was before it was rendered generic, is there a chezkas kashrus? Would someone who is not shomer mitzvos actually be knowledgeable enough, or vested enough, to be an accurate source of information in this matter? Fish nomenclature and fishwives are both notoriously haphazard. Salmon, however, has a unique appearance to the flesh, which according to some poskim is a siman muvhak, and hence a heter. ]
PETIS
Use only the very freshest of fish, and move to a warm climate. Use no more than three times the amount of fish by weight as sea salt, no less than twice the amount of fish to salt. In a clean vessel (a barrel or earthenware tun) strew salt, layer cleaned and gutted fish, strew more salt, and repeat till all the fish and salt is used up. Place a flat bamboo basket (a winnowing tray is perfect) or a pickle-board on top, and weigh this down with rocks like you would sauerkraut. This prevents the fish from floating when the liquid has been released by the salt. Cover with a cloth to keep out the flying shrotzim.
After the first week or two, uncover the container and expose to direct sunlight for several hours. This furthers the fermentation process, and will eventually yield a fish-sauce which is a lovely reddish amber, clear, and fragrant. It will take at least a year to produce a superior fish-sauce, but for best results, figure on nearly two years. Strain and bottle.
The sludgy refuse can be diluted with salt water for second round of fermenting, the result of which can be sold as inferior fish sauce.
Decent fish-sauce will keep for a very long time. About six kilos of fish will give one litre of superior fish-sauce. Really excellent fish-sauce will look like single malt, Irish, or bourbon, and have a depth of flavour, whereas mediocre fish sauce wil be dark, salty, fishy, and Philippino.
[Many commercial fish sauces are mixtures of long fermented top level superior sauces and various shorter ferments and second-round ferments. With or without the further addition of extenders, odd grain products, and salt. ]
In addition to having moved to a warm climate, it will be helpful if you do not have picky neighbors living too close by.
I believe that most of New York and New Jersey do not qualify on either score.
TRASI
Use tiny fish, or mince larger fish to a uniform granular texture. Mix in one and a half cups of sea salt to each kilo of fish. Press this into a jar overnight. The next day, spread the fish thinly on a bamboo mat and dry in strong sunlight. Take it in at night and store it in the jar. Spread it out again the next day. Repeat the spreading and storing until the result is dense and purply and the fish material has broken down, which takes about five days or so, or keep repeating untill it has become stiff and clay-like. After the first three days or so, you may grind the fish for uniformity. This also speeds up the drying process, and will yield a superior paste. A well made stiff paste will be a deep brown, and be easily pressed into a brick shape. If dried until it is crumbly, it will keep a very long time. Indonesians call it trasi, Malaysians call it belachan. A wetter version is available in Philippino stores, know as bago'ong.
BULATJONG
This is made by mixing vegetable matter and fishy stuff together with enough salt to promote pickling. It is closely related to both petis and trasi, and also to a somewhat explosive mixture made by Malaysian and Singaporean Chinese. Think of it as a table-condiment. You can also simply use regular fish or shrimp paste as the basis, much like South-East Asian Portugese do - about two thirds fish paste, with tomatoes, fresh ginger, chilies, garlic, and vinegar added. For each cup of non-fish paste substances add a generous tablespoonfull of salt, and let it stand a few days before use.
Note that for all of the products described above, shrimp are considered the best fundament. And shrimp are not kosher. But I have been told that small firm fish that are not too high in fat can very well be used instead. I firmly encourage your experimentation.
Some of the cheaper commercial versions use flour and wheat products in addition to fish-ferments. And related thereto, please be aware that most soy sauces contain wheat (and are therefore also posul for Sfardim during Peysach, in addition to being off-limits to kitniophobics).
Petis is used condimentally as a table sauce, trasi is used for cooking (indispensable in South-East Asian and Southern Chinese food) or cooked into condiment mixtures, and bulatjong is eaten much like a table pickle or relish. You can also purchase pre-roasted trasi which can be ground into curry-pastes or crumbled into stews, if you do not wish your kitchen to reek like a low class flop house just off Mabini or Del Pilar.
All these products should be used sparingly. A tablespoon or two of petis with an equivalent amount of fresh lime juice or vinegar, with some sliced chili and garlic, makes a lovely dip.
---------------------------------------
Related hereto, a meise shehoyo:
Before he moved to Telegraph Hill, the bookseller and I would walk part-way home together late at night after leaving Mike's or Candy's. One night in 1993 I boasted about finding a bottle of chinchaloc (fish pickle). One thing lead to another, and we decided to open that bottle. Sniff and sample. Consider it the spirit of discovery if you will.
I had barely touched the bottle opener to the crown when the top blew off, and a geyser of putrid muck sprayed the kitchen counter, the window, and both of us.
Our spirit of discovery was satisfied, and neither of us even tasted the fish pickle. I have never bought another bottle.
Months later I was still finding little dried shrimp eyeballs stuck in the weirdest places.
I never found the top of the bottle - I think it went straight out the open window into the airwell, shot like a bottle rocket by the pressure that had built up.
Long warehoused chinchaloc is more unstable than even cheap Philippino fish-sauce. Those bottles are potential bombs. If you've ever wondered at the rich aroma in South-East Asian Chinese stores, wonder no more.
If you plan to make your own, get the bottles and crowns at a home-brew supply house.
I mean, I would have to get rid of almost my entire pantry.
A Dutch-American who cooks Asian food has nearly nothing which is not either chametz OR kitnios.
Soy sauce? Rice-wine? The weird Japanese pancake mix which Savage Kitten likes? Her huge bin of Texas double A, or my bin of Thai jasmine longrain? The regular glutinous, or the expensive pudding rice? Basmati?
Nix on all that.
My collection of hot sauces? Well, they weren't made with apple or grape vinegar..... and some of them wouldn't even be kosher le rest-of-the-year, let alone kosher le-Peysach. Reason being that they contain petis, trasi, or bulatjong.
If you have never even heard of petis, trasi, or bulatjong, trust me - there is no way that commercial versions can be considered kosher. Ever. No one has invented a vegetarian version either. There is no substitute.
GO FISH
But YOU could make them at home, using only fish that have snaper ve kaskeses.
[And by kaskeses are not meant kaskeses which are embedded like those of reptiles or small buggy things, but clearly visible kaskeses which can be easily scroped off with a knife, the test being that one can be pulled off without ripping or damaging the skin. This per both the Rambam and the Rema.]
[Note: If your fish vendor has skinned the fish, there is no way to ascertain that it was kosher. Just one more reason you shouldn't buy those factory processed fish-like products. Even if the sales person tells you what it was before it was rendered generic, is there a chezkas kashrus? Would someone who is not shomer mitzvos actually be knowledgeable enough, or vested enough, to be an accurate source of information in this matter? Fish nomenclature and fishwives are both notoriously haphazard. Salmon, however, has a unique appearance to the flesh, which according to some poskim is a siman muvhak, and hence a heter. ]
PETIS
Use only the very freshest of fish, and move to a warm climate. Use no more than three times the amount of fish by weight as sea salt, no less than twice the amount of fish to salt. In a clean vessel (a barrel or earthenware tun) strew salt, layer cleaned and gutted fish, strew more salt, and repeat till all the fish and salt is used up. Place a flat bamboo basket (a winnowing tray is perfect) or a pickle-board on top, and weigh this down with rocks like you would sauerkraut. This prevents the fish from floating when the liquid has been released by the salt. Cover with a cloth to keep out the flying shrotzim.
After the first week or two, uncover the container and expose to direct sunlight for several hours. This furthers the fermentation process, and will eventually yield a fish-sauce which is a lovely reddish amber, clear, and fragrant. It will take at least a year to produce a superior fish-sauce, but for best results, figure on nearly two years. Strain and bottle.
The sludgy refuse can be diluted with salt water for second round of fermenting, the result of which can be sold as inferior fish sauce.
Decent fish-sauce will keep for a very long time. About six kilos of fish will give one litre of superior fish-sauce. Really excellent fish-sauce will look like single malt, Irish, or bourbon, and have a depth of flavour, whereas mediocre fish sauce wil be dark, salty, fishy, and Philippino.
[Many commercial fish sauces are mixtures of long fermented top level superior sauces and various shorter ferments and second-round ferments. With or without the further addition of extenders, odd grain products, and salt. ]
In addition to having moved to a warm climate, it will be helpful if you do not have picky neighbors living too close by.
I believe that most of New York and New Jersey do not qualify on either score.
TRASI
Use tiny fish, or mince larger fish to a uniform granular texture. Mix in one and a half cups of sea salt to each kilo of fish. Press this into a jar overnight. The next day, spread the fish thinly on a bamboo mat and dry in strong sunlight. Take it in at night and store it in the jar. Spread it out again the next day. Repeat the spreading and storing until the result is dense and purply and the fish material has broken down, which takes about five days or so, or keep repeating untill it has become stiff and clay-like. After the first three days or so, you may grind the fish for uniformity. This also speeds up the drying process, and will yield a superior paste. A well made stiff paste will be a deep brown, and be easily pressed into a brick shape. If dried until it is crumbly, it will keep a very long time. Indonesians call it trasi, Malaysians call it belachan. A wetter version is available in Philippino stores, know as bago'ong.
BULATJONG
This is made by mixing vegetable matter and fishy stuff together with enough salt to promote pickling. It is closely related to both petis and trasi, and also to a somewhat explosive mixture made by Malaysian and Singaporean Chinese. Think of it as a table-condiment. You can also simply use regular fish or shrimp paste as the basis, much like South-East Asian Portugese do - about two thirds fish paste, with tomatoes, fresh ginger, chilies, garlic, and vinegar added. For each cup of non-fish paste substances add a generous tablespoonfull of salt, and let it stand a few days before use.
Note that for all of the products described above, shrimp are considered the best fundament. And shrimp are not kosher. But I have been told that small firm fish that are not too high in fat can very well be used instead. I firmly encourage your experimentation.
Some of the cheaper commercial versions use flour and wheat products in addition to fish-ferments. And related thereto, please be aware that most soy sauces contain wheat (and are therefore also posul for Sfardim during Peysach, in addition to being off-limits to kitniophobics).
Petis is used condimentally as a table sauce, trasi is used for cooking (indispensable in South-East Asian and Southern Chinese food) or cooked into condiment mixtures, and bulatjong is eaten much like a table pickle or relish. You can also purchase pre-roasted trasi which can be ground into curry-pastes or crumbled into stews, if you do not wish your kitchen to reek like a low class flop house just off Mabini or Del Pilar.
All these products should be used sparingly. A tablespoon or two of petis with an equivalent amount of fresh lime juice or vinegar, with some sliced chili and garlic, makes a lovely dip.
---------------------------------------
Related hereto, a meise shehoyo:
Before he moved to Telegraph Hill, the bookseller and I would walk part-way home together late at night after leaving Mike's or Candy's. One night in 1993 I boasted about finding a bottle of chinchaloc (fish pickle). One thing lead to another, and we decided to open that bottle. Sniff and sample. Consider it the spirit of discovery if you will.
I had barely touched the bottle opener to the crown when the top blew off, and a geyser of putrid muck sprayed the kitchen counter, the window, and both of us.
Our spirit of discovery was satisfied, and neither of us even tasted the fish pickle. I have never bought another bottle.
Months later I was still finding little dried shrimp eyeballs stuck in the weirdest places.
I never found the top of the bottle - I think it went straight out the open window into the airwell, shot like a bottle rocket by the pressure that had built up.
Long warehoused chinchaloc is more unstable than even cheap Philippino fish-sauce. Those bottles are potential bombs. If you've ever wondered at the rich aroma in South-East Asian Chinese stores, wonder no more.
If you plan to make your own, get the bottles and crowns at a home-brew supply house.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
A FORTY YEAR OLD FRAGRANCE
One of my aunties was Indonesian.
[More precisely, an Indo - a Dutch person whose past lies in the Dutch East Indies, and who may be of a mixed or creole ancestry.]
By saying that, I also betray the nature of the relationship, as any Indo will recognize. Terms such as auntie and uncle, used among Indos, do not actually mean blood relation, but indicate that the person so referenced is of one's parents' generation or older, and close to the family, or the parent of a friend, or even an adult friend of one's youth.
[I made mention of my auntie earlier, in this post: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/09/boterkoek-butter-cake.html
There's recipe there - you might like it.]
When I first knew her, Auntie Ietje (*) lived in Valkenswaard, in a cottage near meadows on the road to Geenhoven. The cottage no longer exists, having been replaced with row houses in the early seventies, after she had moved to The Hague. The trees along that road are also gone, and there are no more meadows.
When she still lived there I would often visit after school or chess club meetings.
Her house smelled.
Lavender and camphor, sandalwood and citrus.
Those being the fragrances of expensive hand soap, unvarnished wooden chests that keep away bugs, incense that drives out mosquitoes and makes the soul tranquil, plus lemons.
There were usually three or four large fruit-bowls with lemons - in the kitchen, in the living room, in the hallway to the back patio. I believe there may have also been a bowl in the bedroom.
She used lemons for a wealth of purposes, but probably mostly for the memories. Lemons are redolent of warmer climes, and when bruised release a wonderful aroma. A squeeze of lemon over food, or the zest in the dish, can make something pedestrian seem delightful. A twist of peel in the pot along with the leaves makes even grocery store tea taste good and fragrant.
In very many ways lemons are bright spots of sun in the gloom of a Northern European twilight, the fragrant fruits that chase away the wintry blahs, the gilded motes of tropical comfort in the cold. Lemons are warmth, youth, freshness, sparkle.
It is by such import-products that exiles in Holland bring back echoes of a sunnier life.
These are not unusual conceptions, and you likely already knew them. You too probably like lemons.
But what you might not know is that warm water with lemon juice softens hair after washing, and makes it shine.
Auntie Ietje's hair always smelled faintly of jasmine shampoo and lemon.
It was one of those things which took me a long time to realize.
I wasn't even aware of it until I was as tall as her.
As I was outside the building earlier today having a smoke, I smelled that exact same combination - jasmine shampoo and lemon.
I was ten years old again and the nose once more remembered lavender and camphor, sandalwood and citrus.
I do not know who carried that fragrance in her hair, I did not notice her pass by.
Which is probably just as well.
It is best not to deal with ghosts.
(*) Eee-chuh; Hokkien for one or first (Yih), with the Dutch diminutive postfix (-tje) added on. Little first child. The nickname stayed with her for life.
[More precisely, an Indo - a Dutch person whose past lies in the Dutch East Indies, and who may be of a mixed or creole ancestry.]
By saying that, I also betray the nature of the relationship, as any Indo will recognize. Terms such as auntie and uncle, used among Indos, do not actually mean blood relation, but indicate that the person so referenced is of one's parents' generation or older, and close to the family, or the parent of a friend, or even an adult friend of one's youth.
[I made mention of my auntie earlier, in this post: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/09/boterkoek-butter-cake.html
There's recipe there - you might like it.]
When I first knew her, Auntie Ietje (*) lived in Valkenswaard, in a cottage near meadows on the road to Geenhoven. The cottage no longer exists, having been replaced with row houses in the early seventies, after she had moved to The Hague. The trees along that road are also gone, and there are no more meadows.
When she still lived there I would often visit after school or chess club meetings.
Her house smelled.
Lavender and camphor, sandalwood and citrus.
Those being the fragrances of expensive hand soap, unvarnished wooden chests that keep away bugs, incense that drives out mosquitoes and makes the soul tranquil, plus lemons.
There were usually three or four large fruit-bowls with lemons - in the kitchen, in the living room, in the hallway to the back patio. I believe there may have also been a bowl in the bedroom.
She used lemons for a wealth of purposes, but probably mostly for the memories. Lemons are redolent of warmer climes, and when bruised release a wonderful aroma. A squeeze of lemon over food, or the zest in the dish, can make something pedestrian seem delightful. A twist of peel in the pot along with the leaves makes even grocery store tea taste good and fragrant.
In very many ways lemons are bright spots of sun in the gloom of a Northern European twilight, the fragrant fruits that chase away the wintry blahs, the gilded motes of tropical comfort in the cold. Lemons are warmth, youth, freshness, sparkle.
It is by such import-products that exiles in Holland bring back echoes of a sunnier life.
These are not unusual conceptions, and you likely already knew them. You too probably like lemons.
But what you might not know is that warm water with lemon juice softens hair after washing, and makes it shine.
Auntie Ietje's hair always smelled faintly of jasmine shampoo and lemon.
It was one of those things which took me a long time to realize.
I wasn't even aware of it until I was as tall as her.
As I was outside the building earlier today having a smoke, I smelled that exact same combination - jasmine shampoo and lemon.
I was ten years old again and the nose once more remembered lavender and camphor, sandalwood and citrus.
I do not know who carried that fragrance in her hair, I did not notice her pass by.
Which is probably just as well.
It is best not to deal with ghosts.
(*) Eee-chuh; Hokkien for one or first (Yih), with the Dutch diminutive postfix (-tje) added on. Little first child. The nickname stayed with her for life.
Monday, March 26, 2007
ALAS! ALACK! OH WOE! AND SOMETHING CHEESY
On the way to the Indian restaurant yesterday evening we passed by the cheese shop. Savage Kitten snorted angrily, but did not say anything.
An hour later, as we waddled home replete, we passed the cheese shop again. And now she howled. A long kvetching ranting wail, though not so loud as to draw any attention from any passers-by, relating that she had gone there recently to buy some Schokinag, but all... they... had... was... Scharfenberger!
Which, apparently, is crap. Her opinion. Utter crap.
Despicable overpriced snob white twenty something yuppie ignoramous rotten garbage crap.
Can't say I particularly disagree.
Schokinag is good stuff.
[See here: http://www.worldpantry.com/schokinag/home.html]
Scharfenberger, while highly reputed among the snobnoscenti, just ain't right. Good chocolate is more than advanced chemistry and math. There is no inspiration in Scharfenberger.
Tain't bad, but it ain't exciting either.
[Unless your taste runs to overpriced snob white twenty something yuppie ignoramous chocolate.]
The cheese shop has recently changed hands, and the food maven wot run the place is no longer there. Now it is uninspired as far as anything which isn't cheese is concerned (the cheese selection is sterling - hence the nickname 'the cheese shop', it is actually called something else).
Good drinking chocolate is hard to find in San Francisco (Ghirardelli is not nearly as good as the tourist brochures claim). Schokinag drinking chocolate has fragments of ground chunk-chocolate in among the prepared cacao, which give the hot beverage made with their mixture a wonderfull mouth-feel and aroma. And a depth of flavour. Most hot chocolate mixes are little more than mediocre generic cacao with essences and stabilizers. But Schokinag is indeed special. Luscious.
[Mind you, I am not going to tell her that because of me her supply of Schokinag diminished quite a bit more rapidly than it should have. There are some things one's significant other does NOT need to know. Like about the afternoon that I had a furious argument about wild clover honey with her teddy bear. She does not need to know that either. I do not wish to pay with my life for speaking firmly to the Ms. Bruin about honey, nor for stealing Schokinag.]
We still have Cadbury's. And Droste in a pinch. One can always melt some fine bar chocolate and whip it into the scalded milk. Add a pinch of freshly grated cinnamon (not cassia but real Ceylon canela).
Some vaunted Mexican cacao mix is also available at the cheese shop. It costs nearly twenty dollars for a tin. What kind of price is that? Does anybody really think very many Mexicans will fork over twenty bucks for cacao? Any Mexicans? Any at all? Hmmmph!
----------------------------------------
For more on chocolate, and the important soul-soothing qualities of a good cacao fix, please visit this site: http://goingslightlymad.blogspot.com/
Browse until you stumble over Maltesers.
There's chocolate in them there hills.
An hour later, as we waddled home replete, we passed the cheese shop again. And now she howled. A long kvetching ranting wail, though not so loud as to draw any attention from any passers-by, relating that she had gone there recently to buy some Schokinag, but all... they... had... was... Scharfenberger!
Which, apparently, is crap. Her opinion. Utter crap.
Despicable overpriced snob white twenty something yuppie ignoramous rotten garbage crap.
Can't say I particularly disagree.
Schokinag is good stuff.
[See here: http://www.worldpantry.com/schokinag/home.html]
Scharfenberger, while highly reputed among the snobnoscenti, just ain't right. Good chocolate is more than advanced chemistry and math. There is no inspiration in Scharfenberger.
Tain't bad, but it ain't exciting either.
[Unless your taste runs to overpriced snob white twenty something yuppie ignoramous chocolate.]
The cheese shop has recently changed hands, and the food maven wot run the place is no longer there. Now it is uninspired as far as anything which isn't cheese is concerned (the cheese selection is sterling - hence the nickname 'the cheese shop', it is actually called something else).
Good drinking chocolate is hard to find in San Francisco (Ghirardelli is not nearly as good as the tourist brochures claim). Schokinag drinking chocolate has fragments of ground chunk-chocolate in among the prepared cacao, which give the hot beverage made with their mixture a wonderfull mouth-feel and aroma. And a depth of flavour. Most hot chocolate mixes are little more than mediocre generic cacao with essences and stabilizers. But Schokinag is indeed special. Luscious.
[Mind you, I am not going to tell her that because of me her supply of Schokinag diminished quite a bit more rapidly than it should have. There are some things one's significant other does NOT need to know. Like about the afternoon that I had a furious argument about wild clover honey with her teddy bear. She does not need to know that either. I do not wish to pay with my life for speaking firmly to the Ms. Bruin about honey, nor for stealing Schokinag.]
We still have Cadbury's. And Droste in a pinch. One can always melt some fine bar chocolate and whip it into the scalded milk. Add a pinch of freshly grated cinnamon (not cassia but real Ceylon canela).
Some vaunted Mexican cacao mix is also available at the cheese shop. It costs nearly twenty dollars for a tin. What kind of price is that? Does anybody really think very many Mexicans will fork over twenty bucks for cacao? Any Mexicans? Any at all? Hmmmph!
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For more on chocolate, and the important soul-soothing qualities of a good cacao fix, please visit this site: http://goingslightlymad.blogspot.com/
Browse until you stumble over Maltesers.
There's chocolate in them there hills.
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