THE TASTE OF EXILE: SURINAMESE CHAROSET

The Portuguese Jewish community of Suriname was established in 1639, in the settlement of Torarica close to Paramaribo. What with some things being a bit difficult at that time and place, adaptation spurred innovation. The charoset they made for Pesach naturally deviated a little from what Americans are familiar with. Sort of twixt mediaeval European and Tropic.
The varied paths eventually settled into a familiar concoction.
It was popularized for North Americans after the war.
Although it never really caught on.

And considering that charoset is, ab initio, a relic of hotter climes with which Ashkenazim would only be familiar if they visit Miami Beach or Tallahassee (which have a climate halfway between hell and Paramaribo, though wetter than Sinai), it might be interesting to experiment. Why not? Gotta make the crackers edible.

For reference purposes, because Pesach is not a family tradition (though it was for a few years something I experienced), here is a recipe for Surinamese charoset.


SURINAMESE CHAROSET

One cup each of the following ingredients: crumbled or slivered almonds, raisins, dried apples, dried appricots, dried bananas or dates. Two or three cups grated coconut. Half a cup of jam (cherry, apricot, or other suitable preserve). Four tablespoons sugar. One tablespoon ground cinnamon, half a teaspoon ground clove.

Chop and mix, put in a pan with water to barely cover, simmer over low while stirring till it resembles spackle or cement. Add a cup of dessert wine (though I would use something 'drier', sherry for instance), stir to incorporate, and refrigerate till needed.


Bearing in mind the huge differences, charoset on matza is analogous to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.


Now, for the bitter vegetable (maror), although horseradish or parsley and salt water is common, consider also using sopropo.

Bitter melon (momordica charantia) is called 苦瓜 ('fu gwaa') or 涼瓜 ('leung gwaa') in Cantonese, karela in Hindi and Urdu, peria or paré in Indonesian, ampalaya / palaya in the Philippines, and sopropo in Sranangtongo. It is a cucurbit. Cut it in half and scrape out seeds and pith, then slice, and soak in salt water to remove some of the bitterness.
Dress with a little pepper, olive oil and lime juice.
Your children will probably hate it.


It is available wherever there is an exiled group of South East Asians or Cantonese. In the Netherlands you may find it at Caribbean markets. Marvelous, cooked with fatty meats.


Paramaribo has temperatures in the high eighties for most of the year, and it rains a fair amount. It is quite livable, very diverse culturally, and malaria is no longer endemic.
Parbo Beer is the most popular beverage.



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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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POM

A friend on the Surinam mailinglist forwarded a fascinating link to an article in the Jewish Daily Forward, charmingly entitled: 'Shake a Family Tree And a Jew Falls Out'.

This:
http://www.forward.com/articles/105939/

Quote:
"There's no question that the Jews, now numbering fewer than 200, once had an outsized impact on the country. The beautifully preserved Neve Shalom synagogue sits in the town center, next to the largest mosque in the Caribbean. Afro-Creole women wear Stars of David. Traditional Surinamese Jewish dishes - like pom, a kind of cassava root mashed with chicken, once eaten by plantation owners on Passover - have since become a national treat. Even Hebrew has found its way into Sranan Tongo, the local language, by way of former slaves. The word treefu - from treyf - still refers to taboo foods and behaviors."


The dish mentioned can indeed be made with cassava root, but taro root is much more common. The name 'pom' is a dialect variant of the 'pone' in cornpone'. A bready substance, or a bread substitute, more or less. In its current incarnation, pom is more of a Creole dish than in any way recognizably Jewish. Here's a recipe.



POM
[Chicken stew in a taro crust - Surinamese shepherd's pie]

One chicken, two and a half to three pounds.
Half pound salt pork or substitute (good chicken sausage works well).
Two and a half pounds to three pounds unpeeled taya (taro root).
Six to eight Roma tomatoes, peeled and chopped.
Two onions, chopped.
Two stalks celery, chopped.
Two bouillon cubes (use 2 - 4 TBS soy sauce instead.)
Salt, Pepper, nutmeg (or mace).
Juice of one orange and two lemons.
Two or three cloves of garlic, minced.
One tablespoon sugar.
Half a cup oil.

Cut the chicken into chunks, rub with the salt, pepper, and nutmeg.
Soak the salt pork, if using, to remove excess salt.
Brown the chicken chunks and the salt pork (or whatever you are using as substitute), remove to a plate. The meat should not be fully cooked at this point, just nicely coloured.
Fry the onions, to which add the tomatoes, garlic, and celery halfway through.
Cook till nice (at this point, I would a hefty splash of sherry and a jigger of hot sauce - not authentically Surinamese, but I do this with many dishes - it just tastes better to me).
Add the chicken and pork, water to cover, and the bouillon cubes or soy sauce, as well as a fragrant chili pepper (whole).
When done, drain the cooking liquid into a bowl and reserve it, as you will need some of it for the taya. The meat, of course, is also kept.
Taste the liquid - it should be somewhat stronger in flavour than you really like, and a little saltier. This is because it needs to flavour the taya too.

Peel and rinse the taya, then rasp or grate it - a cuisinart is handy. Because of the calcium oxalate in taya, you may wish to use kitchen gloves.
Mix the taya with some of the cooking liquid from the meat and the orange and lemon juices to a thick gluggy paste, adding the sugar.
Scoop half of the taya sludge into a well-greased deep Pyrex baking dish in a thick layer, put the chicken mixture on top, cover with the remaining taya and smooth it down.
Pour the remaining cooking liquids on top, and bake for two hours in a hot oven (one hour at 425 - 450 Fahrenheit, one hour at 350 Fahrenheit).
By adding the remaining liquids to the top, you will end up with a very nicely dark brown surface after cooking. Don't worry about the darkness, worry rather if it lacks that darkness after having been baked.
It is done when a golden-brown juice extrudes when you prick it with a knife.
Keep enough of the cooking liquid from preparing the chicken that you can serve the pom with rice, adding a splash to wetten the serving.
Pom is also a good filling for hot crusty rolls (broodje pom).

Note 1.
If the taya causes a skin itch while preparing, use some lemon juice to counteract that characteristic.
Do not taste the taya sludge before it is cooked! Taya can not be eaten raw!

Note 2.
Some people mix the taya with a goodly quantity of mustard before cooking; the mustard changes flavour considerably, and even standard yellow mustard can be used.
Green banana, cut into pieces, can also be mixed into the taya before baking.

Note 3.
Surinamers use bouillon cubes as a flavouring in many dishes, but soy sauce and strong stock work just as well, without the monosodium glutamate and industrial fake-chicken flavour. Salt pork is also often used. Both are cultural markers of the cuisine, and there are better things to use.


The one thing for which no substitute is possible is the jar of sambal made from Madame Jeanette peppers, which are a fragrant local relative of Habanero and Scotch Bonnet. Just mash the fresh chilies with a pinch salt, a squeeze lime juice, and a dash of water, then thoroughly wash whatever utensils you used to make the sambal. A teaspoon of this one your plate will make it a memorable meal.
You may also want to put a selection of zesty pickles on the table, and several bottles of djindja biri (ginger beer).



For other recipes, see Cooking With a Lizard, where most of the recipes from At the Back of the Hill, are cross-posted without much backstory or extraneous material.
And note that feedback and comments are always welcome.

SURINAME-LIST ON THE FRITZ

Or maybe I'm in Dutch with the right-thinking list-administrators.
Even, perish the thought, on 'fully moderated status'. Which is not unlikely - I've managed to irritate quite a number of right-thinking members by taking the side of Israel. Not exactly a popular position in the Dutch-speaking world. Most right-thinking Dutch-speakers believe that Israel is a horrid, rotten little country inhabited by religious fanatics who obsessively wish to exterminate all those peacefull leftwing secularists, the Palestinians.
Around three-quarters of the Dutch believe this.
The figure is even more skewed in favour of 'furry Palestinian dolphins who must be saved' among the younger crowd - their piles bleed monumentally for the poor oppressed little Palestinian puppies, big time!
And cute fuzzy-wuzzy Palestinian bunny-wabbits.
And widdle Pally duckie-wuckies.

The Dutch may be right-thinking (and they certainly believe that they are), but they are not entirely attached to reality.

In short, an e-mail I sent to the list did not get to the rest of the members.
I think it got yanked. Too divisive. Happens a lot.


So I'll post it below.


Some of it is in Dutch, most of it is in English.



Beste luitjes,



Omdat het hoogst onwaarschijnlijk is dat de racistische pers in Nederland dit ooit aan het publiek daar te lees zal geven, en daar het toch door het ANP bestempeld zal zijn als "gerechtvaardigd (die lui hebben het verdiend) stuur ik het maar hier door.



Boy Loses Leg, Brother Wounded in Sderot Kassam Attack
By Hana Levi Julian and Gil Ronen


An eight-year-old boy and his 19-year-old brother were seriously wounded Saturday evening in a Kassam rocket attack on Sderot. The barrage sent 11 people into emotional shock in addition to the casualties.

Both boys were wounded in the lower limbs and were rushed into surgery after they were evacuated by Magen David Adom paramedics to Barzilai Hospital in Ashkelon. The youngster reportedly lost part of his leg in the blast, according to media sources. His older brother suffered shrapnel wounds as well. The boys' 15-year-old brother and their mother were also sent to the hospital to be treated for emotional shock.

The family was running for cover when one of the enemy rockets landed about two meters from them. Another rocket landed close to a residential building.

A total of five rockets were fired, three of which exploded in the center of Sderot. The other two slammed into areas just outside the city. Terrorists from Islamic Jihad’s Al-Quds Brigades claimed responsibility for the attack.

Ter verduidelijking:
Acht jaar oud jochie verliest deel van been door een raket afgevuurd door Palestijnen.
Sderot is in Israel - achter de 1948 grens - zelfs het merendeel van de Palestijnen geeft er geen klap om, en eist het niet op. Het is geen legitiem doelwit, tenzij men of 'n terrorist of 'n Europeesche Palestina supporteur is.
Wedde dus dat die venijnskoe Anja Meulenbelt deze raketaanval, zoals alle vorigen, aplaudiseert. Want een kleuter is, mits Joods, iemand die het grondig verdiend heeft. Ik weet dat sommigen van ulieden, waarschijnlijk een overgroot merendeel, het met haar eens zijn.


Gelieve dit door te sturen aan voormalig lijstlid mejufrouw Ghanie. Het zal haar verheugen, en wellicht een prettige week bezorgen.


Met groeten (peace and love, bitches, peace and love),

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The news report quoted above will never be printed in a Dutch newspaper. For one thing, it casts the Palestinians in an unfavourable light - not a wise thing for the commercial press to do in a country that denies its own anti-Semitism and long history of support for extremist causes. For another, studied neutrality is the dominant Dutch ideology. Which means that Israeli military superiority must necessarily mean that Israel is the aggressor, as otherwise the Palestinians would seem to be terrorists and insane.
Which they're not; they're fluffy little dolphins.

DURBAN

Back in 2001, when I criticized the Durban Conference (the world conference on racism sponsored by the UN), I was castigated by a number of right-thinking Dutch weasels and their fellow-travelers, one of whom called me a Jew, a member of Kahane Chai, a possible/probable killer of children, and an advocate of ethnic cleansing.

It is therefore with relish that I reproduce the following text, lifted from the Arutz Sheva website, regarding the follow-up conference scheduled for next year.


[Begin quote]

Canada: Next Durban Conference Will Be No Better

Canadian Foreign Minister Maxime Bernier and the Secretary of State for Multiculturalism and Canadian Identity, Jason Kenney, issued a statement on January 23 in which they announced that their country would not be taking part in the UN's 2009 World Conference Against Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance in Durban, South Africa. The reason for their decision, they said, was the prospect that the conference would again degenerate into a festival of anti-Semitism, as occurred in 2001.

"Canada has a long and proud history of fighting racism, discrimination and intolerance in all its forms," said Minister Bernier. "It was for this reason, and its promise of concerted global action against racism, that we participated in the 2001 in Durban, South Africa. Unfortunately, that conference degenerated into open and divisive expressions of intolerance and anti-Semitism that undermined the principles of the United Nations and the very goals the conference sought to achieve.

"Secretary of State Kenney and I had hoped that the preparatory process for the 2009 Durban Review Conference would remedy the mistakes of the past," Bernier explained. "We have concluded that, despite our efforts, it will not. Canada will therefore not participate in the 2009 conference."

"Canada will continue to focus its efforts on genuine anti-racism initiatives that make a difference," added Kenney. "Our government’s decision to seek full membership on the Task Force for International Cooperation on Holocaust Education, Remembrance, and Research demonstrates that we remain committed to the fight against racism and to the promotion of freedom, democracy, human rights and the rule of law at home and around the world."

[End quote]

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For perspective, I also reproduce an e-mail I sent on September 7, 2001.
The recipient was the Suriname Mailing List.

[Begin e-mail]

From:
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2001 2:44 PM
To:
Subject: Durban

Odd that there has been no comment on the list regarding that travesty in Durban.

Surely my fellow list members have opinions?

The results of the Durban conference sofar:

The Jews (eternal victims of bigotry) have been slammed by the Arabs (slave traders for millennia, who still discriminate against those who are neither Arab nor Muslim, and still surreptitiously support slavery). Odd that those who pretty much invented the slave trade are being allowed to dominate the proceedings... third world solidarity in action?

The African nations, who profited from selling their war-captives and minorities to Europeans and Arabs, now want to be paid again. No mention of reparations for the actual descendants of the merchandise, who of course do not live in Africa anymore.
It is proposed that tax-money paid in part by the descendants of slaves should be given to those who are in part descended from the sellers of those same slaves. And oddly, no one is demanding that the Arabs pay any reparations at all... third world solidarity in action?

India, whose treatment of its oppressed classes is uncivilized and a scandal, gets off Scot-free by collaborating with Africa and the Arabs to slam Israel and the west.... third world solidarity in action?

No mention of discrimination against the Roma by the Slavs? Odd, I didn't know that Eastern Europe was part of the third world....


Shouldn't more time have been spent on actually discussing racism in the world today (such as the dismal record of my own country as regards minorities and the US justice system) and less time devoted to the consideration of a markedly anti-western agenda by a bunch of third world failures with abominable human rights records?

Might it not have been more productive to look at how America and the European countries are dealing with minority issues?
These are, after all, reasonably successful nations who have actually attempted to deal with racism and discrimination.... quite unlike the repressive dictatorships which litter the Middle East, Africa, Asia, and South America.

The usual chorus of resentful tin-pot tyrants and greedy third-world beggar nations has been allowed to dominate the discussion, giving a shrill chorus of anti-western rhetoric, and sweeping their own rather glaring faults under the rug. One would almost think that hunger for an easy buck drove the proceedings... quite understandable, given that those who steal from their own people often see no reason why they shouldn't steal from everybody else.

Comments? A different opinion? Speak up, I am keen to hear your point of view.[End e-mail]



Today's readers will note that I have not changed very much in ten years, and neither has the world.
Attentive readers will undoubtedly also realize that there is a strong quotient of neener neener neener to this post. Along with a little bitterness.

JUSTICE IS AN ANGRY BLACK MAN

Tradition is mighty fine.

It is traditional that every year on the Surinam Mailing List there is a screaming match of monumental proportions regarding the issue of Black Pete.

[The Surinam Mailing List is for people who have any interest in Surinam (formerly Dutch Guiana), many of whom are from there, or have some connection to the place and the people.]


Usually World War Three starts on the list right about now, and continues all the way through to Nittel Night. The rhetorical bombing runs and hate-mail missiles take out enemy cities, verbal napalm denudes entire provinces. The injured stumble from the battlefield of dialectic with wounds all bleeding and puss-y gangrenous, the mute cadavers of those who fell in word-war are spitefully carved up and mutilated. The hoarse rasping gasp of Shma-Yisroel or Our Fadder by a dying disputant can faintly be heard.
All of this entirely in a flood of furious letters, of course. A metaphor.


Stop scratching your head, I shall explain.


It relates to a fictionalized holy man (Sinterklaas, Saint Nicholas) whose holiday is celebrated in the Dutch-speaking part of the world on December 6th. or on the evening beforehand (Sinterklaas avond - Saint Nicholas eve, December 5th.).
In the middle of the night the fictionalized gentleman squeezes his portly middle-aged self down narrow chimneys to give presents and candies to good children, coal to mediocre children, and drag the truly awful ones back to Spain with him when he leaves.

Formerly the bishop of Smyrna, a millennium ago he retired to the Costa Del Sol - the European equivalent of Miami. Once a year he comes out of retirement, puts on his glad-rags, gets on his silver-grey horse, and goes to the Netherlands for a month.
For the children. Candies. Peppernuts. Marzipan. Playstations and Nike.


However, if you've been a particularly nasty little brat, you get something unpleasant instead.

A savage beating by six to eight black men.

You see, part of the story is that 'Sinterklaas' is accompanied by six to eight big butch black men wearing the type of poncy frou-frou costumes you've seen in Italian paintings. Individually and collectively they are called "Zwarte Piet" (Black Pete). They have no actual identities of their own, no individual names, they do not get to ride horses. They are mere retinue. And they are goon. They are not the sweet and gentle type of black man with which you are familiar.

A bad child will get fiercely birched within an inch of his life by one or more of these gentlemen, then dumped into a gunny-sack and dragged off to Spain, never to be seen again.


Traditionally, the six to eight big butch black men are impersonated by one to three white people (often young ladies), with crudely applied black-facepaint, wearing whatever gaudy big butch drag they find in the rag heap. They utter nasty foreign sounding boogabooga grunts and pidgin Dutch threats to scare the crap outta the little kids - especially the ones who haven't spent the previous month acting all goody two shoes, kissing up, singing cutesy songs about how happy they are to await the coming of the Saint (and his six to eight big butch black men), and dutifully putting out cookies for the Saint every night, and a carrot for his horse (but nothing for the retinue). They occasionally chase a brat, do a handstand or a cartwheel, or act colourful in some way.

Many Dutch people have not grasped the racism of this yet, as they remember the joy of the season that they felt as children, getting candies, toys, cake, marzipan, chocolate letters. And as adults, they want to recapture that joy, and pass it on to their kids. Fear, trauma, bribery, and payola - all combined into a cheery feast.

White folks in blackface.


You can no doubt understand why Surinamers in the Netherlands are "ambivalent" about this.

Yearly there is much venting about it on the list.

It is therefore with bated breath that I await the start of battle. All is quiet at the moment. But this cannot endure. Huge buckets of hate, of puss, of venom, are intrinsically part of the holiday tradition. And we must respect tradition.

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About the title of this post:
Justice is usually pictured as a blind white woman, scantily dressed, holding a pan-scale. Absurd! Justice is not blind or white - Justice is actually a large black man, holding a bunch of birches. And boy, is he angry.

David Sedaris said so.


See: Live at Carnegie Hall.

Or rather, listen.

BLESSING THE HAGGIS

This post is offal.

In August of 2001 someone on the Suriname mailing list asked about Haggis. In connection with kwakoe (a summer festival for Surinamers living in P'tata), celebrated every year in the Bijlmer.

[Explanatory notes: Surinamers are Dutch Guyanese, mostly of African or Creole ancestry but also including every ethnic and cultural group under the sun in not insignificant proportion. Kwakoe (Kwaku) means Wednesday in Kromanti, which is a Voodoo (Winti) ritual language derived from Ghanaian languages spoken by the Africans brought to Suriname (Dutch Guiana), and is the name for a man born on that day of the week. It is also the name of the monument in Paramaribo to the abolition of slavery on Wednesday July first, 1863. Consequently the statue, of a man breaking free of his chains, has been identified as personifying the archetype of the African Surinamer, a free man at last, finally in charge of his own life. It was natural that the name would be adopted for a two month long festival (weekends in July through August) celebrating Surinamese heritage (and food) in what is probably the largest Surinamese city in the world, namely the Bijlmer Meer Polder housing estates in South-East Amsterdam. P'tata (potato) is the affectionate nickname that the Surinamers gave to the Netherlands.]

In response to that query I mentioned that Haggis is quite inedible unless one is Scottish or insane, and further explained that it is made by taking the plucks (heart, lungs, liver - so named because they can be extracted from the animal corpse by grasping and 'plucking') and boiling the crap out of them for several hours before chopping them fine, combining them with oatmeal - chopped onion - spices, stuffing this unholy mixture into a cleaned lamb stomach, and steaming the frightful concoction several more hours. A vegetarian version can be made with tofu (substitute cheesecloth for lamb stomach), which will be marginally more edible.

Recently E-kvetcher, a fellow blogger and friend of this blog, asked tongue-in-cheekily what the appropriate brocha for haggis would be.

I am in the unfortunate position of having given much thought to haggis, and consequently can authoritatively answer that question.


THE BROCHA FOR HAGGIS

Let us assume that you have been served a portion of haggis. The whiskey was nice, the bagpipe music far less so, and your hosts have now dumped an evil substance with the texture of grainy spackle and no identifiable food related characteristics on your plate. You are of two minds as to whether to eat any part of it. You stare at it with considerable surprise and distrust.
And yet you grasp your fork anticipatorily; you will...... fork it.


In this case, the correct practice (in Scotland) is to recite: "Boruch Ata Adonoi Eloheinu, melech ha olam, oseh ma'aseh vereishis".

.
.
.

Better, though, to politely demure, and say "Boruch ata Adonoi Eloheinu, melech ha olam, shegemalani kol tov".


Sotto voce.


I wish to stress that last part. These folks actually EAT this stuff, and have a well-deserved reputation for being dour and bloody maniacs. Remember that bad Mel Gibson movie? You do not want them to start pulling out the blue face paint, do you? These are the same vicious people who will deep-fry a Snickers bar without a second thought. Be carefull.

[Note that if one is in Scotland, teatime is wonderful, but for dinner better go to a foreign (English) restaurant and stick with safe and reliable choices such as spotted dick and boiled baby. These are not savoury as haggis is alleged to be. But safety first.]

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Final word on Kwakoe: If you are in Amsterdam during July and August, definitely consider attending the festival. Even if the prospect of bloodpudding, fladder, offal, screamingly hot chilies, and bacalhao in peanut-curry doesn't excite you, there are many other fine things to eat (Surinamese cuisine is absolutely terrific, and, along with Indonesian cuisine represents the very best that Dutch food has ever achieved). Buy yourself a tall bottle of Parbo beer or an ice cold glass of almond syrup and soda water, find a place to park yourself, and listen to some great party music. Swingi, man!

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Note: the offal discussion happened over at Steg's place:
http://boroparkpyro.blogspot.com/
E-kvetcher's blog is here:
http://search-for-emes.blogspot.com/
Need I mention that I read their blogs regularly?

PEPPER LEAVES

A discourse on cocaine on someone else's blog reminded me of pepper leaves.

Of which there are three.


DAON SIRI (Piper Betel; standard Indonesian: daun sirih; Tagolog: buyo, ikmo) is a beautiful heart-shaped leaf in which you wrap your sliced betelnut (Areca catechu; Indonesian: pinang; Tagalog: bunga, bu'ga), catechu (Acacia catechu extractum; katta, gambir), tobacco, sweet shredded coconut and dried plums, along with a small smear of slaked lime (calcium hydroxide; kakura - burnt snail shells; kapog - commercial lime paste; both are called ginapog in the western part of Mindanao, 'apog in Luzon). You then pop it into your mouth and chew. It will cheer you up, then keep you on a slightly zotsed plateau for a few hours, before slowly releasing you into torpor. It is refreshing, mildly narcotic, and counters fatigue.

In South-East Asia it was for centuries the social drug of choice, before being replaced by coffee, tea, cigarettes, and bad beer. Visitors would be welcomed with a chew before the reason for their visit was discussed, and important agreements would be sealed by a chew. Marriage proposals were made with a present of a stuffed leaf for chewing, and desperate women would compound love potions in the quid they offered their paramours. Kings were assassinated with poisoned chews, and daemons were expelled by spraying the possessed victim with chaw.

It should be noted that the leaf causes one's spit to become bright red and copious. Do not be alarmed at the crimson spatters on the pavement, that's just someone having a good time.

In the past, beautiful sets of jars and leaf-holders on a tray for betel chewing were prized heirlooms, often made of gold or silver clobbered ceramic.

Wiki article in English: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betel
Wiki article in Indonesian: http://id.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sirih



DAON KADOK (Piper sarmentosum; standard Indonesian: daun kaduk) is a close relative of siri, with which it is often confused. It is used both as a minor medicine for colds, aches, joint pains, and minor stomach ailments during the rainy season, but also in its own right as a food. A very nice soup can be made by first gilding some of the usual ngeprik ingredients (garlic, ginger, chilies, etc.), adding water or stock plus plenty of kadok leaves, and then finishing the soup with a squeeze of lime juice and some broken-up egg and tofu scramble. If you add a little finely chopped daon djarok (standard Indonesian: daun jeruk - kaffir lime leaf) it is especially nice.

The leaf can also be eaten raw, coloured with a touch of hot sauce, or shredded into emerald rice with some toasted dried fish. Very good. It also goes well with beef.



DAON TJABE (standard Indonesian: daun cabai) are chili (Capsicum) leaves, which are used as vegetable in Indonesia, the Philippines, and Suriname. They are very good with chicken that has been braised with a little ginger, garlic, and shallot, rice-washing water added to cover, as well as a squeeze of lime or a bit of tamarind for sourness. Simmer till nearly tender, then add the ripped chili leaves to the dish in a quantity sufficient to give it a mixed meat and vegetable character. Serve when the leaves have wilted. Put a bottle of fish sauce on the table for diners to add as suits them.

-- -- -- -- --

Notes:

Lime juice is as good a substitute as any for kalamunting (Indonesian: jeruk sambal; Tagalog: calamansi), which is a dwarf lime about the size of a cherry tomato, used all over South-East Asia for squeezing over food. It is not as fragrant as kalamunting, but it is widely available, which is a great virtue.

Grated lime zest can also be added to food instead of daon djarok (kaffir lime leaf). It does not affect the mouth-feel as daon djarok does, which is a pity, but it does add a necessary perfumed dimension.

Fish sauce, known as petis or patis, and also widely available in Thai and Vietnamese stores by different names (and usually clearly labeled, so you will not be confused), is used as both a table condiment and as an ingredient. The best types are not strongly fishy, and have a golden-amber hue. But if you keep kosher, substitute soy sauce.

Chili peppers (Capsicum spp.; tjabe, tjawe) come in many shapes and heat-levels.
I am particularly fond of capsicum pubescens, which is remarkable for its short capsaicin molecules. Because of this peculiarity, some people barely taste its heat, others take one nibble from a lovely chile manzana which an aficionado in the accounting department may have offered them, and run screaming for the bathroom at the far end of the building, lips purple and face a brilliant red, for instance.

But there are others which are also delightful - Jalapeños are peppy, piquines (chiltepin) are spicy-hot with a metallic taste, serranos have a resinous quality, de arbols are fiery, Thai peppers are blistering but seedy, Scotch Bonnet has an affinity for cinnamon and black pepper and with its cousin the Habanero (fruity and fragrant) presents the highest heat level.

Mulatto Isleño and other types of poblanos are not hot, and marvelous roasted or stuffed with cheese, Anaheims are particularly good stuffed or rendered into a green sauce, and the chiles from New Mexico present everything from juicy fleshed mildness to blister-blaster heat.


One can make a beautiful chile verde by stewing goat in a generous mixture of chopped cooking chilies with a little onion and some stock (plus some garlic and a pinch of ground cumin) for an hour or two - the chilies will make a nice verdant and very flavourful sauce, the onion will have helped tenderize the meat as well as contributed its own flavour. It can be served over rice, but it is best savoured in a bowl by itself.

For chile verde I like to use Anaheims, Mulatto Isleños and Poblanos, plus a few bells for bulk, and several Jalapeños and serranos, all blistered over a flame, skinned (leave some of the black on for a nice smokiness), seeded, and chopped fine. More chiles than meat (big chunks of meat), of course, and absolutely no tomatillos or tomatoes. Stock and a jigger of sherry. Two hours plus. When it is done it looks like a jade sea. Sheer heaven.

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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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FLAME WAR ON THE SURINAME MAILING LIST

There is a marvelous fight raging on the Suriname mailinglist at this moment, between a white person and a black person.

In the past I have had my own run-ins with both gentlemen. But I consider the black person a good friend, whereas I have as yet not made peace with the white person.


Why do I mention their skin colours?

Because it clarifies not only certain implied relational verities that operate in Dutch society, but also that the white person is considered a native, whereas the black person is considered a foreigner. Never mind that both are native speakers of Dutch, of educational levels that are equal and above average. The resident foreigner, in Dutch society, is ALWAYS at a disadvantage. And always aware that sneering disapproval may be hidden under the thinnest of veneers. Foreigners, it is often implied, should be darn' glad to be there, and should not look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if they inherited their place in Dutch society from a Dutch-speaking past, were born under the Dutch flag, have paid overmuch in taxes and contributed overmuch to Dutch society -- well, they're 'foreign', don't you see, and so really shouldn't have a voice.

The sentiment 'go back where you came from' is one that I was thoroughly familiar with years before I went back where I came from.
[For readers who might be new to this blog, let me clarify that I was born in the US, two years of age when we went over to the Netherlands, and in my late teens when I returned to the US. Here, I am just another American. Over there, I was also "just another American". And I do remember that.]


But why am I telling you about this tiff in a foreign language on an e-mail list to which you do not belong?

Because I really wish I could share with you how eloquent, how venomous, how lyrically blistering and viciously spattering blood both participants are going at it. How subtle dagger-jabs alternate with splintered baseball bats, and full frontal assaults distract from well-laid traps and piano wire strung across the dark alleys of the conversational river that is the list.
[Okay, that's a metaphoric train wreck above, but you know what I mean.]

It is beautiful. It is enough to make me weep with the vicarious thrill of it all.
I rub my mental hands with glee upon reading each new volley. It reminds me of my own modest poison-penmanship contra one of these gentlemen four months ago.

So, here's a letter I wrote at that time. I have included translations (small, bold, in square brackets) underneath each paragraph. Let me know what you think.

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WRESTLING ANGRILY IN BUTTER
[Originally written March 22nd. 2007]


Beste F,
[My dear F.]

Wees toch niet zo'n schijnheilige azijnzijker en geef gewoon eenvoudig toe dat er veel in Europa is dat niet deugt. Vooral in Nederland.
[Stop being such a hypocritical vinegar-pisser, and just simply admit that there is much in Europe that isn't right. Especially in the Netherlands.]


Sedert de moord op Johan de Wit zijn gijlui weinig meer dan een zure, betwetende, geen kwaad van zichzelf toegevende stel kleingeestige snobs geweest. De zelfde gedachtenkoers die uw uitzuigerspraktijken en brute onderdrukken van uw kolonien beinvloede leeft nog uitbundig voort in het neerkijken op alles wat van uw eigen deugdenwaan afwijkt.
[Since the murder of Johan de Wit, you lot have been scarce more than a sour, knowitall, admitting no flaws, bunch of smallminded snobs. The same thought-patterns that informed your extortionate practices and the brutal repression of your colonies still live forth abundantly in your looking down on everything that deviates from your own imagined virtues.]


Nederland schijnt alleen te bestaan om de geldzucht en superioriteitswaan van een stel gedevolueerde inteelt Germanen vorm en functie te verschaffen.[The Netherlands seems to exist only to give form and function to the greed and sense of superiority of a collection of devolved inbred Germanics.]


Dat van een heel kontinent over een kam - het zou ulieden sieren dat ook niet te doen. Maar verrek, zelfs u kunt het niet laten. Lees uw eigen scheve schrift eens door. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
[That of a whole continent 'over one comb' - it would grace you people to not do likewise. But heck, you yourself just can't resist. Just (re)read your own twisted writings. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.]


Wat anti-Semitisme in Europa betreft, verwijs ik u naar:
Written Statement before the Subcommittee on Europe Senate Foreign Relations Committee April 8, 2004 (vindbaar op het internet).
[As regards anti-Semitism in Europe, please consult: Written Statement before the Subcommittee on Europe Senate Foreign Relations Committee April 8, 2004 (available on the internet).]

Alzook:
REPORT ON GLOBAL ANTI-SEMITISM
Submitted by the Department of State to The Committee on Foreign Relations And The Committee on International Relations In accordance with Section 4 of PL 108-332 December 30, 2004 (ook vindbaar op het internet).
[As well as: REPORT ON GLOBAL ANTI-SEMITISM
Submitted by the Department of State to The Committee on Foreign Relations And The Committee on International Relations In accordance with Section 4 of PL 108-332 December 30, 2004 (which also can be found on the internet).]


Tevens kan het ADL (door u zelf aangehaald, nota bene) u ook daarover informeren.
Het Simon Wiesenthal centrum heeft daar evenzo informatie over.
[The ADL (which you yourself brought up, nota bene) can additionally provide you with further data. Likewise the Simon Wiesenthal centre also has information.]


Er was ook een Europeesch rapport over anti-Semitisme in Europa dat in 2003 onder de mat geveegd werd - men vreesde in Brussel dat het een kwaad licht zou weergeven. U kunt het vast wel op het internet vinden.
[There was also a European report about anti-Semitism in Europe that was repressed in 2003 - Brussels feared that it would shed unfavourable light. Doubtlessly, you can find it on the internet.]


Ter verdere achtergrond zou u ook met regelmaat Ha'aretz op het internet kunnen lezen. Alzook de NYT en de WSJ. Ik zou de BBC afraden - weliswaar minder krom dan het ANP, maar toch een markant gefiltreerde kijk. Toch vrees ik dat u eerder The Guardian leest dan welk ander Engelstalige nieuwsbron.
Ik zou Arutz maar Sheva geheel achterwege laten - het zou een Nederlander geheel van streek doen raken, daar het nuancering van jewelste eist om tussen de regels door te lezen. Het zelfde geld ook voor Arabische nieuwsbronnen.
[For further background you would have to read Ha'aretz regularly, as well as the NYT and the WSJ. I would not recommend the BBC - while they are indeed less devious than the ANP, they never-the-less present a remarkably filtered point of view. And evenso, I fear you read The Guardian more than any other English-language source of news.
I would completely disregard Arutz Sheva - it would unbalance a Dutchman utterly, as it requires tremendous capacity for nuance to read between the lines. The same goes also for Arabic news sources.]


Dat van Anja Meulenbelt? Meest stridente exemplaar van een Nederlandsche politiek figuur wier "kritiek' op Israel weinig meer is dan nauwelijks verscholen Joden-haat. Een typisch Nederlands figuur, overigens - er zit een gemeenheid en venijn in haar van bijna ongeloofelijke proportie.
Iemand die niet wist dat Nederland hare Joden met plezier uitleverede aan de Duitsers, die niet wist dat Nederland hare Marokkanen en Turken discrimineert en vervloekt, die niet wist dat Nederland hare verantwoordelijkheid jegens de Molukkers niet alleen niet nagekomen is maar geheel en al ontkent, die niet wist dat Nederland zo'n twee eeuwen lang zich voordeed als hebbende religieuze vrijheid terzelfderwijle dat het Katholicisme aldaar verdrukt werd, die niet wist dat Nederland de bevolking in delen van Oost-Indie omwille profijt uitmoordde, die niet wist dat Nederlandsche slavenschepen een bijnaam voor dood en verderf waren in zelfs de meest brute tijden -- zo'n iemand zou versteld zijn van het gif dat zij en haar soortgenoten jegens Israel uitspuwen. Wijl het eigenlijk niet anders dan een typische Nederlandsche eigenschap is.
[Now, that remark about Anja Meulenbelt? The most strident example of a Dutch political figure whose criticism of Israel is little else than barely disguised hatred of Jews. A typically Dutch type, by the way - there's meanness and venom in her in almost unimaginable proportions.
Any person, who did not know that the Netherlands was delighted to turn over her Jews to the Germans, who did not know that the Netherlands discriminates against and curses her Moroccans and Turks, who did not know that the Netherlands not only never tried to fulfill her responsibility to the Moluccans but now completely denies that responsibility, who did not know that the Netherlands pretended to have religious freedom while repressing Catholicism for several centuries, who did not know that the Netherlands exterminated populations in the East-Indies for profit, who did not know that Dutch slave-ships were a byword for murder and misery in even the most brutal of times - why, such a person would be flabbergasted at the venom that she (Anja Meulenbelt) and her type spew about Israel. But actually it is nothing more than a typically Dutch characteristic.]


Men zou ook vele anderen als voorbeeld van gifspuwende bigote Nederlanders naar boven kunnen halen. Zulks is zeker niet zeldzaam.
[One could also bring up several others as examples of poison-spewing bigoted Netherlanders. That type is by no means rare.]


Enkele jaren terug wees een enquete erop dat Nederlanders van mening waren dat Turken, Marokkanen, en Amerikanen de meest verachtelijke volken waren.
Meer recentelijk bleek dat een overgroot deel der Nederlanders, meer zelfs dan van de rest der West-Europeanen, van mening was dat Israel het grootste gevaar voor de vrede vormde.
Vorig jaar was een op de vijf Nederlanders van mening dat Hezbollah een legitieme verzetsgroepering was.
[A few years ago a poll showed that Netherlanders considered Turks, Moroccans, and Americans the most despicable of peoples.
More recently it turned out that an overwhelming proportion of the Dutch, more even than among the rest of the Western-Europeans, were of the opinion that Israel presented the greatest threat to peace.
Last year, one out of five Netherlanders believed that Hezbollah was a legitimate resistance movement.]


Dat er ook anti-Semitisme hier is geef ik toe. Waar er minderheden zijn, waar ook ter wereld, vind men bigotrie.
Markant is wel dat de nieuwe vormen van anti-Semitisme hun grootste hoogtij vieren in Europa en de Arabische landen - waar men maar weinig Joden aantreft. Hier in de Bay Area heeft men tien maal zoveel mensen van Joodsche komaf als er in Nederland zijn. Niet verbazend, overigens, want Europa leapt at the opportunity om van die minderheid af te wezen, net als vele Europeesche landen ten tijde van de Duitsers ook gaarne hun zigeuners en ander minderheden overleverden, wat velen daar waarschijnlijk nu ook gaarne met allochthonen zouden dien indien dat mogelijk zou zijn.
De reactie van de Arabieren jegens hun Joodsche medeburgers spreekt voor zich (met enkele uitzonderingen - men denke aan Marokko als voorbeeld van deugd).
[I will admit that there is also anti-semitism here in the States. Wherever there are minorities, anywhere in the world, one finds bigotry.
But it is worth especially noting that the new forms of anti-Semitism are at their highest tide in Europe and the Arab lands - where one will find but few Jews. Here in the Bay Area there are ten times as many people of Jewish descent as in the Netherlands. That really isn't surprising, when you think about it, because Europe leapt at the opportunity to be rid of that minority, just like many European countries during German times were quite as pleased to hand over their gypsies and other minorities - something many would now gladly do with allochthones (foreigners) if only that were possible.
The reaction of the Arabs to their Jewish fellow-citizens speaks for itself (with some exceptions - consider Morocco as an example of virtue).]


En verder: blijf niet zo over boter zeuren. Men zou denken dat boter voor u een obsessie was. Nederlandsche boter had een tijdje terug een rotte reputatie - had iets met voze handelspraktijken te doen. Gelieve het niet konstant aan boter te denken. Mischien dat die boter-obsessie symptomatisch is van de communicatie-verschillen tussen Nederlanders en Amerikanen. Als dat het geval is rest ons geen andere keuze dan alleen over boter met ului te spreken - u weigert onze standpunten te begrijpen of aksepteren, wij hebben geen boodschap meer aan konstant van ulieden te horen dat wij minderwaardige rotschepsels zijn die nooit gelijk aan de Europeanen kunnen worden. Kijk, precies die boodschap dreunt u al meer dan veertig jaren - mischien dan dus wel dat u iets nieuws en interessants over boter kunt zeggen.[And further: stop whining about butter. One would almost think that you were obsessed with butter. Dutch butter had a lousy reputation a while back, something having to do with dishonest practices. Be so kind as to not always think about butter. Perhaps that butter obsession is symptomatic of the communication problems between Netherlanders and Americans. If that is the case, there is little other choice for us but to speak of butter with you lot - you refuse to understand or accept our points of view, we are hardly interested in hearing for the umpteenth time what worthless subhuman scum we are and how impossible it is for us to ever be equals. Now see, precisely that is the message you have repeated for more than forty years...... maybe instead you can say something new and interesting about butter.]


Met groet,
[Regards,]

-----B.O.T.H.


PS. De Bay Area is meer multi-cultureel dan Nederland ooit zal worden. Hetgeen trouwens ook geld voor de gehele VS. Er zijn hier in de VS meer dan twintig miljoen mensen van Nederlandsche komaf. Waarom zouden die lui nou weg uit Nederland hebben willen gaan? Zou het iets met Nederlandsche mierenneukerij en azijnzijkerij van doen hebben?
Zou het gezelschap van andere Nederlanders zelfs de smaak van uitstekende boter doen verzuren?
[PS. The Bay Area is more multi-cultural than the Netherlands will ever be. Which also holds true for the entire US. There are more than twenty million people of Dutch ancestry here. Now, why would those folks have wanted to leave the Netherlands? Could it have something to do with Dutch nitpicking and vinegar-pissing? Might the company of other Dutchmen have soured the taste of even the most excellent butter?]


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Note: there are some odd turns of phrase in the text above. Please construe, as the context should make clear what the colloquialisms mean, and how they reflect the flavour of the language.

BAFFELYK

Do not try to find this word in a dictionary, it is a Dutchification of an English word.

I just invented it. Because I needed to express that something on the Suriname mailing list was baffling, and could not remember a Netherlandish word with the appropriate flavour.

***BAFFELYK***

What was it davka that was entirely baffelyk? Well, Deedeebee sent an e-mail in response to Codjo angrily telling Flopri to go salt it up (these are NOT their real e-mail handles, by the way). I should also mention that Codjo had accused Flopri of oldwhoring (spouting drivel), to which Canadian Wanderlubby responded with a tssk tssk guaranteed to inflame.

Deedeebee’s e-mails are often ameliorating and pacificatory – not this time. It was in response, yet seemed to have mamesh no connection whatsoever to the previous flame-mails.
It left my gast disquietingly flabbered.
If yours is too, please comment.

GUEST POST FROM ... CODJO!

The text below was sent to the Suriname mailing list by a very good friend, who was infuriated by a comment made by another very good friend.

Now, before I present the text, I should explain a few things.

The infuriated writer is a person of Surinamese extraction, who has lived in the Netherlands for a very long time. He is university-educated, a lawyer, married, with an infant daughter. He is a liberal, and he is literate. He is precisely the kind of person you would want to represent you.

The person whose comment caused fury is a person of Dutch extraction, resident of Canada, of the generation that experienced WWII. He has a typical Dutch gruffness and sense of humour, and is capable of sparkling insights. Like many Dutchmen, he can be blunt. Insensitive, even.

I like both of them, and I enjoy their writing. But I can very well understand their points of conflict.

But what the younger one wrote, with only a few changes, nearly perfectly expresses how I feel in the Netherlands, especially whenever something Dutch deliberately gets my goat.

Trust me, it is lyrical.

Here goes:

Overal in dit land moet ik slikken dat er een beeld van mijn mensen bestaat die niet reëel is (we zijn lui, slapen de hele dag, verkwisten, stelen, roken, spuiten etc…..)overal hou ik mijn mond….omdat mijn salaris betaald moet worden, mijn kind verzorgd moet worden of omdat ik een beetje leefruimte nodig heb…..ik ben al jaren niet meer vrijwillig in dit f@##$#g land……zeker niet als ik een oetlul van een Wilders die stommiteit hoor uitkraaien in het bolwerk van waar men vroeger zelf de mensen ophaalde die men nu van zich wil ontdoen….

[Short encapsulation: stupid praeconceptions about Surinamers make me puke, especially from an oetlul such as Wilders (a Dutch politician of quite some notoriety).]

Veel Surinamers hebben er lak aan en lachen alleen omdat ze niet meer geven om hun identitiet of omdat ze die domme huichelaars op één of ander manier duidelijk kunnen maken dat ze uit India, Indonesie, China of Afrika komen ipv Suriname. Ik kan en wil dat niet omdat ik niet lijk op geen van die standaard inwoners waarvoor men hier de hokjes maakt. Meer nog ik wil degenen waar ik echt uit geboren ben nooit verloochenen.

[Short encapsulation: Many Surinamers tend to ignore or laugh at such things, or claim that they are actually Indians, Indonesians, Chinese, or Africans. I darn well refuse to do so - I do not fit into any of those neat little pigeonholes, and I am proud of who I am.]

Er zijn maar weinig plaatsen in dit land waar ik oprecht wil en kan genieten van het echte mooie (niet hypocriet geuite) waarvoor mijn land en mijn mensen staan…..door de jaren heen is deze lijst daar 1 van geworden. Het spijt me dan zeer dat ik met volle kracht zal voorkomen dat de lijst wordt vervuild met dit verwerpelijk denken…terwijl wij als de domme negers waarvoor ze ons houden breeduit naar ze lachen. Ik heb het al een keer gezegd..verander dan de naam van de lijst in Lijst voor Verwerping van Suriname. Ik wil niet op de lijst blijven om meer te horen van wat ik hier buiten al te horen krijg. Ik ben de laatste die gaat ontkennen dat er nog veel mis is in Suriname, maar ik ga niet accepteren dat men het gaat vertrappen in een verbeelding dat het hier een paradijs is en dat iedere Nederlander zorgt en offert voor iedere Surinamer …bull s...

[Short encapsualtion: There are so few chances to enjoy what is truly great about Suriname and her people that I will resist to the utmost this list getting polluted by the usual reprehensibilities. I'm not going to sit back and listen to the same crap I get elsewhere. I do not deny that Suriname has problems, but I will not stand for the idea that in comparison the Netherlands is an utter paradise and every Dutchman tenderly cares for and sacrifices for every Surinamer.]

Ik heb gezegd dat ik ben zoals ik ben….ik kan mezelf eerlijk in de spiegel aankijken en weet dat ik oprecht naar mijn medemens leef….tal van anderen houden hun skeletons in de cupboard zo diep verborgen dat ze gaan geloven dat ze heiliger dan de paus zijn en alles en iedereen kunnen veroordelen. IK ZEG WAT IK DENK EN DOE WAT IK ZEG met verve als nodig. Zal me daar geen dag voor schamen. Zij die daardoor denken beter te zijn dan mij wens ik veel geluk in hun waan……ik praat of zwijg niet om geaccepteerd of van gehouden te worden (wat telt immers is de oneindige acceptatie en liefde van mijn Schepper) …..maar om vrij te blijven …because, like aunt Esther says: the truth will set you free…. ;-))
En zo voel ik me wel als ik die vieze bigots op hun plaats zet…..lekker terug naar je hol..

[Short encapsulation: I am precisely what I am. I shall not hide what I am really like, and I will say what I think and do as I say. I shall not be ashamed of that. What matters is not mere acceptance, but freedom. And in that vein I will tell bigots where to shove it.]

Odi,


------Codjo



I have encapsulated rather than translated because it cannot really be translated. There is a lyric ebb and flow to the language that has no equivalents in English. What even the encapsulation could not possibly convey is the anger and evocativeness.

I have posted it here (more or less with the okay of the writer) because it is an angry howl, and, much more than that, it is what I dearly wish some lost Dutchman stumbling into this blog will discover.

HOW TO COOK A ZEBRA

Note: One of my long-time correspondents reminded me of the stuff I used to write on the Suriname mailing-list, in the days when ethnography, cuisine, and linguistics all combined into a heady stew - a stew flavoured with Dutch, Indonesian, English, Sranangtongo, and scraps of Sarnami Hindi. Surinamers represent some of the most broad-minded speakers of Dutch, with wide ranging interests, residing in a multitude of countries and climates. There are probably some living near you. Which is a blessing.

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Dennis wrote: "In de trant van' how to cook zebra' ;-)."

You flatter me, my dear man. But, purely coincidentally, I do have some expertise in that field (having several years ago been associated with a company that sold bush meats).
So, here goes.

Zebra tastes rather like horse, being quite lean, but it can have a slight gaminess – remember, this is a wild animal.

It can be tough, and will definitely benefit from braising or stewing, although Boers may think it suitable for grilling - Boers think everything is suitable for grilling. Everything. If they made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they would grill them. Darned Braaivlees freaks.

You should be able to find zebra steaks and haunch cuts without too much trouble. All the recipes below can also be done with buffalo.




BRAISED ZEBRA

Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
One pound tomatoes, peeled seeded and chopped.
Two onions, chopped.
Two TBS flour.
One Tsp. paprika.
Pinches salt, pepper, turmeric, coriander, cayenne.
One cup browned bone stock.
Quarter cup olive oil.
Quarter cup heavy cream.
A good jigger of sherry.


Fry the onion golden in the oil and remove to a plate.
Dust the meat with flour, salt, and pepper, and brown in oil. Add tomatoes and onions, stir briefly to take up the crusty bits on the bottom of the pan, then add the sherry, stock, and spices. Simmer until tender, which may take a while if the beast was old. Before serving, whisk in the heavy cream.
---


MABOKAY

Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two cups of crumbled roasted peanuts.
Two large onions, chopped.
Juice from one or two lemons.
Half a dozen chopped green chilies.
Plantain leaf – one or two whole leaves.


Cook the peanuts, meat, and onion with a little water for about twenty minutes. It should be a stiff glop.
Take a leaf and pull off the central rib (cut across the rib, flip the edge of the blade underneath the rib, and pull). Trim the leaf to a large rectangle. Sprinkle some salt on the leaf, and place the meat mixture on one side. Flavour it with the lemon juice and chilies.
Now fold over all ends to make a secure package within several layers of plantain leaf, and tie it up like a postage parcel. Place on a rack in a large pot and steam for over an hour.
Unwrap at the table and serve with corn mush.
---


ZEBRA STAMPOT

Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two onions, chopped.
Two tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and chopped.
Two green plantain, peeled and chunked.
Two sweet potatoes, chunked.
Two large regular potatoes, chunked.
Two or three chilies, minced.
One can (one and half cup) coconut milk (santen).
One or two cups browned bone stock.
Minced garlic, ginger.
Salt, pepper, plus pinches of ground clove and nutmeg.


Rub the garlic, ginger, chilies, salt, and pepper into the meat, and let it rest for one or two hours in the refrigerator.
Then brown it in a heavy casserole with a little oil. When it is well gilded, add the stock and spices, simmer for an hour.
Then add the vegetables and scant water to cover. Simmer until the vegetables are tender, then mash everything with a potato masher. If using meat on the bone from an odd cut, it would be a good idea to remove it from the bones before mashing. Mix in the coconut milk before serving.
---


ZEBRA MYEMBWE

Two pounds of zebra, cut into chunks.
Two onions, chopped.
Half a dozen tomatoes, peeled seeded and chopped.
One pound of spinach or chard, washed and chopped.
One cup of Myembwe sauce (moambé sauce, nyembwe sauce, or canned palm soup base aka sauce graine).
Juice of one or two lemons.
Garlic, ginger, chilies – minced.
Olive oil.
Pinch of salt.


Mix lemon juice with garlic, salt, and chilies. Wet meat with this and allow to marinate for an hour.
Brown the onions in a large casserole, then add the meat and brown also.
Add the tomatoes and water to generously cover, simmer for about an hour (longer if it was a tough old beast). Then add the chopped greens and the myembwe sauce, and cook till the vegetables are mooshy.

Serve with fried plantains and fufu or rice.

-----------------------------------------------

Please note: all of the dishes above can well be served with sakasaka (manioc greens).

I have a posting about manioc greens here:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/10/sakasaka-witiman-witiman.html


Feedback will be appreciated.




-----ATBOTH.




Update as of 2017: cooking zebra in rendang is excellent, but it is rather unsuitable for satay. Zebra mince ball curry is also very good, but unlike goat it benefits from additional fatty stuff thrown into the grinder.

White rice and Mother-in-law's Tongue Chutney alongside.



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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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BUSHA BOB

One of my fellow subscribers to the Suriname Mailing List despises me, and has blocked all e-mails from my address so that he will never have to see my ugly name again, or read any of my turgid spew.


Except that he has confirmed that he reads from his trashcan, and also goes to the list's website for the messages (that last is necessitated because not all e-mails get through).

Apparently something I said recently set him off.

He reacted with hyper-caffeinated fury.


It made my day, and I still have a big smile all over my ponim.


All I can say is sorry. Sorry, Busha Bob, I really DO mean to get your goat. Seriously. And thank you.


-------------------------------------------------------------


What is he like, I hear you ask? What manner of man would let another man, with whom he presumably shares some interests, so get under his skin that he both refuses to read the other person's writing and yet gives in and does precisely that? And then jumps up and down sputtering?

A complex man.


I've never met Busha Bob (not his real name), but he has been a member of the Suriname Mailing List longer than I have (I subscribed in 1998), and he and I have corresponded much. He is one of the frequent and voluminous contributors to the list. He also belonged to a few other mailing lists to which I was subscribed (including a Mollucan mailing list that I was expelled from for disagreeing with the bloodthirsty Christian-radical list-owner). So I have found out much about him over the years.

Key curriculum vitae: Middle-aged. Grew up mostly in the interior of Suriname, educated in the Netherlands. Extensive knowledge of music. Operates tours into the interior. Extremely knowledgeable about the flora, fauna, and ethnography of the Guyanas and Caribbean. Keen nature photographer (and a very good one I might add). Multi-lingual (Dutch, English, Sranangtongo, Ambonese Malay - and probably several other languages). Passionate about politics and social justice. And, like many Dutch-speakers, sickeningly left wing.


It is that last element which caused the falling out. As you may have guessed, I too am quite to the left of centre, but I am an American and a supporter of Israel. He, on the other hand, is an anti-American and often hates Israel.

Normally I tend to think of those who disagree on such fundamental issues as being in some way evil, because their wrongness goes so much against the grain. And if the manner of their discourse is sometimes crude and bigoted, especially on complex issues, I will usually end up at loggerheads if not actually downright despising them.

But Busha Bob is.... different. His heart is in the right place. He can often be a very eloquent and engaging writer (in all the languages in which I have read his messages). And he is adept at feeling the pain of others.
I just think his head is up a dark part of his anatomy at times. Which is very Dutch.
Either that or blinkers. Also very Dutch.



People are allowed to be wrong - intelligence and likeability are not always right. And in many ways he is an admirable man, though stubborn, opinionated, and completely wrong about so very much. He is not vile.

By the way, in case you're thinking that on the issues on which he and I differ I will allow that I myself MIGHT be wrong, stop dreaming - ain't gonna happen. It is not a matter of perception.
I'm absolutely right (though conceivably abrasive).


He, however, is wrong wrong wrong. And possibly dangerous in the causes he supports. Rabidly anti-American. Like many of the guilt-ridden first-world intelligentsia he despises all the failings of his own society, which his type typically project onto the United States.
He is also supportive of morally-bankrupt 'liberation movements', and paranoid about the establishment. It's a form of self-indulgence and self-delusion particular to certain classes. Especially in the formerly important European countries. You might call it an ex-colonialist neurosis. If you were being complimentary. There is no cure.


Other than that, you would probably enjoy eating with him. Did I mention that he has a ready wit? And he's not mean.

SAKASAKA, WITIMAN WITIMAN

A while ago a fellow member of a certain mailing-list angrily called me a "sakasaka witiman".


Which reminded me of food.

Sakasaka is normally found only in the tropics. If you can pick fresh sakasaka, select the smaller, younger leaves; the larger ones are tough and old. If sakasaka is not available, you may substitute kale, spinach, collard, mustard or turnip greens, or similar leafy vegetables.



Cooked sakasaka:

A big bunch of cleaned sakasaka.
One onion, chopped.
A tomato, peeled, seeded, and chopped.
One or two cloves garlic, minced.
One or two mild peppers, minced.
A palm-size piece of dried smoke-fish (substitute a tin of sardines, especially of you are British).
Three or four TBS palm oil.
A pinch of salt, and a pinch of wood-ash.


Chop and thoroughly bruise the sakasaka (and I do mean bruise - whack it with a rolling pin or a mallet). Simmer with plenty of water for an hour or two (the sakasaka should lose its toughness and fibrous quality). One the sakasaka is palatable, add everything else, and cook till the liquid is much reduced and the mass has become pulpy. Eat with fufu or rice.

Adding cooked white beans, lady fingers, or eggplant chunks to the sakasaka is authentic, popular, and good.


Note I: Sakasaka in Sranantongo means despicable, odious, worthy of revulsion. It is probably not related to sakasaka in Congolese.

Note II: Sakasaka in the context of food are cassava greens (feuilles de manioc), known by that name in the Congo, and as mpondu in other parts of central and western Africa. Cassava is also called manioc and yucca.

Note III: If you cannot find palm-oil, use moambé sauce (aka mwambe or nyembwé). Moambé sauce is a flavourful greasy pulp made by boiling mashed palm-nut fruits and straining out the kernels and skins. If even moambé sauce is unavailable (where ARE you living?!?!), just toss in some canned palm-soup concentrate (noix de palme, or sauce greine) into the pot.
Palm-oil, moambé sauce, and palm-soup concentrate add that authentic flavour to African foods - all are also good with meat stews and fricasseed chicken.

Some people add a scoop peanut butter or some coconut milk, either in addition or in-lieu of - this too is good.

Note IV: The pinch of wood ash gives it the flavour of the crude salt used locally - a tiny pinch of baking soda is also good in this regard.

Note V: Fufu are West-African dumplings, very comparable to Surinamese Tongtong. Whatever starchy product is used (polenta, plantains, yams, manioc, etcetera) is first boiled till edible, than pounded to a paste resembling stiff mashed potato, and rolled into balls. These then are either dumped into soupy dishes (rather like matze-balls), or served as the staple on the side with the main-dishes and vegetable dishes, portions to be pinched off and sopped with the greens or sauces.

The mash can also be spread in a baking pan, brushed with butter or oil and browned a bit under the broiler. Depending on how moist it is, it can be then cut or scooped.

Surinamese usually use plantains as the dumpling material, as is also very common in Ghana and Dahomey. Tongtong fu bana (plaintain dumplings) in pinda brafu (peanut soup) is a wonderful party dish wich is sure to elicit cries of delighted regognition from not only your Surinamese guests, but also any West-Africans you invite. Just remember to use a good rich chicken broth as the base of the soup. A few fresh whole green chilies floated in the soup during the last twenty minutes of cooking will add their resinous perfume but no heat (remove carefully to prevent them breaking and releasing piquancy) - aficionados may eat them with their meal.


Afterthought: You need some piripiri with this. If your local market does not carry piripiri, pound fresh Thai birdseye chilies (or long Tabasco peppers) with a little salt, and make the pulp saucy by thinning it with vinegar.

KWIE KWIE

Usually corydoras are assumed to be Kwie Kwie. Hoplosternum (various types of armored catfish) are also Kwie Kwie.


CORYDORAS

Aquarium corydoras include the following, all of which are (should be) available at exotic aquarium centra, though the majority may require special orders:

Corydoras aeneus, Corydoras amapaensis, Corydoras approuaguensis, Corydoras baderi, Corydoras condiscipulus, Corydoras guianense, Corydoras heteromorphus, Corydoras oiapoquensis, Corydoras punctatus, Corydoras solox, Corydoras spilurus.

They range from small to large enough that their tank should be two or three meters in length at least.
They breed well in captivity.

A friend reports that the roe is initially adherent to the lower abdomen of the fish, near the rear fins. Then later it apparently falls or drifts off in clumps and sticks to plants or rocks. Something like that... I'll take his word for it, seeing as all I know about these fish is that they taste good.



COOKING

For culinary purposes, one needs the Kwie Kwie of the Surinamese estuaries and the Amazon basin - medium sized fresh-water fish, plump and round. Hoplosternum.


One prepares Kwie Kwie like Meerval or Djarabakka.



MASALA KWIE KWIE NANGA ANTRUWA
[Spiced Kwie Kwie with Antruwa. Feeds four]

Two pounds fish, cut in eight pieces.
A few antruwa (substitute one or two Asian eggplants), cut in chunks and quick blanched.
A smallish onion, chopped.
A few cloves garlic, minced.
A few Madame Jeanette peppers (substitute Scotch Bonnets), left whole.
Half a Tablespoon each of salt and sugar.
One teaspoon ground coriander, half a teaspoon ground cumin, and half a teaspoon turmeric.
Hefty pinch garam masala, goodly pinch powdered funugreek.


Gild the onion and garlic in a generous splash oil. Add the chili-peppers, salt, sugar, spices, stir briefly, and add the fish. With the spatula turn the fish a couple of times, to distribute the other ingredients and seal the outsides of the pieces. Do the same with the antruwa as with the fish. Add a splash of water, stir to loosen bottom crusties, cover the pan and let the fish and antruwa gently cook in steam till they are done. Take off heat and add some chopped herbs for sparkle. Serve with rice, and a sambal on the side.



Note I: If one has purchased whole kwie Kwie, remove the spines and fins, as well as lips and moustache. The scales can be left on. What you wish to do with the guts is your own lookout - some people leave them in.

Note II: Kwie Kwie are also excellent served with tomatoes cooked along in the pan juices.

Note III: Many people of a wonder-bread cultural persuasion, whose familiarity with fish is limited to canned tuna and the cast of Sponge-Bob Squarepants, may want to especially avoid Kwie Kwie - it has many fine bones, and may require concentration to eat.

Note IV: If, like me, you do not live anywhere near the Saramacca, Suriname, and Marowyne rivers, or even the Albert Cuyp street, you will want to use catfish instead. The recipe above is more or less the form in which I heard it, presented here for the curious. But go ahead - use catfish.

HOLLAND PATIENTLY, SEVEN HUNDRED SLIPPERS!

I just love free translation pages on the internet.


This is why:

Holland patiently at 700 slippers of Surinam in 2004:

Into, which he goes from anus, it the 700 Dutch authorities produce, and have themselves hay mules from Surinam international nelly port Schiphol continue Amsterdam. The interfered areas avian of cocaine of the prisoners. Here informs the sissy yesterday in Hollands of the law, Piet Hein thunder. I carry explain that the names of the prisoners are taken up to a black list, and pod ran neater step on during proximal into 3 anuses feast. The information is edemas compartmental with the air airports, companies and the governments of l'Allemagne of France von Belgian and the Antilles Netherlandish. Of linsang, which appears approximately 1,600 Surinamese in the list.


This is the original:

Holanda detiene a 700 mulas de Surinam en 2004:

En lo que va del ano, las autoridades holandesas han detenido a 700 ´mulas´ provenientes de Surinam en el aeropuerto internacional Schiphol, de Amsterdam. Los detenidos habian ingerido bolas de cocaina. Asi lo informo ayer el ministro de Justicia holandes, Piet Hein Donner. El titular preciso que los nombres de los detenidos se incluyen en una lista negra, y no podran ingresar al pais durante los proximos 3 anos. La informacion es ademas compartida con aeropuertos, companias aereas y los Gobiernos de Alemania, Francia, Belgica y las Antillas Neerlandesas. Actualmente, unos 1.600 surinameses figuran en la lista.



And this is what it probably says in English, more or less:

Holland detains 700 mules (drug couriers) from Surinam in 2004:

This year alone Dutch authorities at Schiphol International Airport outside Amsterdam have apprehended over 700 mules, who had ingested 'balls' of cocaine. Yesterday, the minister of justice, Piet Hein Donner, informed that the names of the perps are on a blacklist of people who are not permitted entry for a period of three years. The list is shared with other airports, transportation companies, and the governments of Germany, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands Antilles. Currently there are over 1,600 Surinamese on the list."


Whatever you put in comes out more lyrical than you can imagine, at best.
Or like free-verse, at worst.