INTERNATIONAL ZIONIST CONSPIRACY

Sometimes fellow habitués of the cigar store ask me about the demonstrations or counter-demonstrations. I've gotten into the habit of starting off my explanation by saying: "well, as you know I'm a member of the International Zionist Conspiracy......."


And as the anti-Zionists in the Bay Area know,
we.... are.... EVERYWHERE!

More or less.

Although sometimes not all of us at once.

One of our members is, at present, under the weather.


In reaction to my excellent advice that he hide his fever and nausea from his nearest and dearest, and boldly soldier on, another member suggested that when it came to carving up a zebra, he should follow my advice, but as regards Jewish Mother Advice, he should listen to her. Stay home. Sleep. Drink.

Seeing as it is well-nigh impossible for me to ever become a Jewish mother, I was reminded of the following:

Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta.

Reg: What?

Loretta: It's my right as a man.

Judith: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?

Loretta: I want to have babies.

Reg: You want to have babies?!?!!

Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them!

Reg: But... you can't have babies!

Loretta: Don't you oppress me!

Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb. Where is the foetus going to gestate? You're going to keep it in a box?

Loretta: (starts to cry) Sniff.

Judith: Here, I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.

Rogers: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister! Sorry.

Reg: What's the point?

Rogers: What?

Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?

Rogers: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.



Now, in that vein, and as there are a wealth of organizations which are either Jewish or Gentile, and also organizations both Jewish and Gentile, which have opinions about Israel, Zionism, Jews, the Philistines, Edomitish-liberation, and that they span the gamut from arch Zionist-Revisionist to 'Amalek by choice' (*), I naturally must share with you the last word on fractionistic tendencies.


Reg: Judean People's Front! We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front, tchah! (spits)

Francis: Wankers!

Brian: Can I join your group?

Reg: No. Piss off!

Brian: I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody.

Everybody: Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh.

Reg: Shtum!

Judith: Are you sure?

Brian: Dead sure. I hate the Romans really.

Reg: Listen. If you really wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans.

Brian: I do!!!

Reg: Oh yeah? How much?

Brian: A lot!

Reg: Right, you're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the
f-cking Judean People's Front.

Everybody: Yeah....!

Judith: Splitters!

Everybody: Splitters.

Francis: AND the Judean Popular People's Front.

Everybody: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters.

Loretta: And the People's Front of Judea.

Everybody: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters.

Reg: What?

Loretta: The People's Front of Judea. Splitters.

Reg: We're the People's Front of Judea!

Loretta: Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.

Reg: People's Front!

Francis: Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?

Reg: He's over there.

Everybody: Splitter!



It sometimes seems as if each Jewish organization has many of the same members as all other Jewish organizations, and similarly every anti-Zionist group is the same as several dozen other anti-Zionist groups and pro-Philistine front organizations, also with all the same members. There is an immense overlap. The same faces, but many alternate masks.

Just like the International Zionist Conspiracy 'is.... EVERYWHERE....', members of the various "destroy-Israel-and-surrender" organizations seem to be everywhere - in each others pockets, beds, and organizations. They are more numerous than us (there being a fecundity to compost heaps). But there are not nearly as many of them as they would like to think. The multiplicity of names obscures their actual number. And despite their attempts to rope in the vast masses, they are nearly as exclusive as the Freemasons.


As I said, they may indeed be more numerous than us. But they are far from everywhere.

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(*) Amalek by choice: this is the explanation by one of our members as to why so many Jews join the anti-Israel side, and why so many non-Jews inexplicably gravitate towards strident hate. They are Amelek by choice, even if some of them are Jewish by descent.

And in that they are Amelek by choice, however you take that metaphor, it is both right and good to oppose them.

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PS. All of the foregoing was largely an excuse to utilize some dynamite Monty Python stuff. It's good stuff. That's perspective, is wot it is.