THINGS WORTH INVESTIGATING

You probably know that there are no hipopotamuses or crocodiles in the Netherlands. Despite the estuaries, placid rivers, and meandering streams being quite ideal for such beasts. And one would think that the swamps and morasses which speckle the landscape would provide them with comfortable home territories as well as abundant cover. This is a very good thing. They'd wreak havoc on what is, after all, a man-made ecosystem. Imagine what they would do to the dykes and drainage systems, plus the polders, sluices, ditches, grachten, reedbanks and dunes. The entire rickety landscape of cards would collapse within months if someone were to imitate Pablo Escobar (not at all that unlikely, as Holland is the Columbia of Northern Europe) and import a private herd of drug hippos. And crocs.

The main reason there are none such there is that the Dutch already have plenty of designer handbags and cowboy boots. They're not that big on them in any case.

The Dutch are better at fighting invasive pests than North or South Americans.
Very efficient eradication efforts that keep them out.
Baited traps on every river bank.


There's a bleating goat tied to nearly every tree.
To lure the crocodiles. And tigers.
Which we also don't have.

A great white hunter up in the branches with a crate of Grolsch and a pack of dark shag, chain-smoking handrolled cigarettes while waiting. Patiently, patiently.

She's white because of a lack of sunlight in that rainy climate.


As an indication of how successful Dutch efforts are, I never once saw a hippo, crocodile, or tiger, when I lived there. Not even when I was tromping around the bog south of Valkenswaard (Malpy), or the marshy areas near Den Bosch.


By the way, you never see hippos, crocs, or tigers wherever there are raccoons.
There may be something there.



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