BLACK COFFEE

Who is this dick parked in our driveway at six o'clock in the morning? When I grumpily step outside barely caffeinated to smoke my first pipe of the day? Why is he parked here? I call him 'he' because no woman would drive an EssYouVee of such size and mud-spattered butchness. It pretty much screams loudly that the owner has a penis of which he is excessively fond, even though it is undoubtedly small.
Very small.


It was gone by the time I returned. Possibly scared off by one of the local dogs, which may have relieved itself several different ways against it. Bless it's vicious canine heart.
I'm betting a chihuahua.

No one can take so ultra macho a conveyance seriously.
Feel free to laugh, point, and sneer at it.
A stupid testicular automobile.
Real he-man's car.


Yesterday I ate shrimp paste beef stirfried with rice noodles (蝦醬牛肉炒米粉 'haa jeung ngau yiuk chaau mai fan). So naturally I dreamed of something entirely different, which in my estimation would make a dynamite breakfast.

Do NOT serve this in one of those stupid restaurant skillets. And I'm surprised that the local early morning joints don't have this on the menu. Small pasta shells, sliced smoked pork and veal sausage, crumbled bacon, tomato sauce, butter, grated Parmesan-like cheese, sherry, olive oil, minced garlic, fresh parsley, and white pepper. Pinch of nutmeg. Easy.

Would go perfectly with a cup of strong coffee. Quite unlike that tobacco mixture I bought several months ago which fond reviewers had glowingly described as superior with a some hot black liquid. They were idiots. Crusty old fossils living in small apartments with peeling wallpaper, which smelled of ancient grease and spoiled milk. I should have remembered that black coffee drinkers are much more likely than the general population to be psychopaths.
Much like a chap who wandered into my work this past weekend.


Do NOT try to entertain yourself by seeing how long you can hold your breath till you pass out while an aged nutball harshly harangues you about the little baby Jesus.
Which sounds like 'coconut' and 'accusation' in Cantonese.
Sunday school. As taught by a mental defective.
Who habitually swills black coffee.

You need a big plate of warm pasta with porky bits right now.
Hot comforting cheesy greasy noodly goodness.
And a creamy caffè latte.
Or two.



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