POINTS OF OBSESSION

One of the characteristics which I recognized in my mother fairly early on was the abilitiy to harbour grudges for a very long time, based on factors which became sore points. This was coupled with a degree of tolerance and forgiving, so that life was bearable around other people. That grudge-holding is something which I also see in my apartment mate, and myself. With varying degrees of tolerance and forgiving.

Accompanying these tendencies are mood-periods during which one repeatedly mulls over and analyzes patterns of behaviour. One cannot forget if one repeatedly brakes it apart in different ways. It will stick in the mind like a wart.

Let us call it "attention surplus disorder".
Definitely a spectrum characteristic.


One thing which strikes me every workday is that my coworkers the previous night plugged in the cabinet light bars that need to charge up overnight wrong. These go HERE, not THERE! And those go on the back table in the office, ALWAYS. You people are just berserk, and apathetic about details! How is it that you have survived this long?

Spoons point one way, forks and knives the other.

If habit and consistency are survival strategies, then obviously obsessive behaviours will keep the Vikings from despoiling and burning the village down. Clearly. Stands to reason.

My apartment mate is a Cantonese American. I never knew the Vikings got that far East.
But I guess I've learned something.


An irritional man would veer into paranoia. But I realize that they aren't doing these things just to annoy me (us), they're doing it to annoy everyone. And in many instances they do not realize precisely how upsetting their actions are, what with being apathetic about details, and, generally speaking, so nonneurotic to the point of dysfunctional that everything fades into a blithering haze. They stumble through life not remembering where they put stuff and accidentally breaking things, or carelessly spilling cheap red wine on a book about Malay superstitions which I bought over three decades ago on Polk Street and had brought to the pizza place with me that same evening.
I still remember his face, scraggy beard, and complete inability to understand the gravity of his error. I haven't seen him since then, but he probably put his jalopy in reverse when he meant to go forward.


The bookstore where I bought it no longer exists.
The wine is less cheap now, but still horrid.
Accidents which shouldn't, happen.
Sometimes it rains.



Let's throw that into a better perspective: Many English people are convinced that there is a correct order to making tea. Warm the pot while waiting for the water to boil. Bring the pot to the kettle, NOT the kettle to the pot. Doing it wrong is dubious, immoral, totally American, and contributes to the world ending. See, the water should remain at optimum heat, otherwise the brew is spoiled and you might as well tip it over the rose bushes. Bringing the kettle to the pot allows it to cool fractionally. People who were raised properly understand this.
And the less said about those colonials the better.



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