ROUNDING UP

The opening page for MSN Personalized News continues to be instructive, as well as dominated by the algorithms. Two examples: having looked up (on wikipedia) human spongeform encephalitis (kuru) several weeks ago, every tenth or eleventh article is about cannibalism, and because I bought a Faberware stainless steel saucepan last month (one quart), I keep seeing advertisements for exactly the same product.

Dude. I already have a new saucepan. I use it to heat water for coffee or tea. And I'm wired to the tits on caffeine right now, so I really don't need another one. Besides, it is far too small to play any part in furthering human spngiform encephalitis, and I do not habitually entertain Alabama Republicans anyway. I never invite them over, and I refuse to feed them now that they've lost foodstamps, medicaid, and childcare. They have relatives to spare.

You'd need a stockpot for that.
Size extra large.

Great with grits.


Anyway, the "news" that the MSN Personalized News page wishes me to swallow seems to be mostly garbage. Burkina Faso is a horrible place, any warcrimes which we will commit are a good thing, rescued pilot holds American flag huzzah huzzah, life is better in Texas, Iran is sinister, your morning coffee can diagnose (or even cause) liver issues, sharks, Palestinians continue to be unspeakably evil, Ivy league schools must be totally destroyed, China and the Europeans are funding anti-Americanism, taxing the wealthy will destroy us, a drugged teen kills parents in blue state, the president is healthier than ever, foreigners are bringing disease into the country, Kansas city is soccer-obsessed, itchy breasts are a warning sign, homeless people steal socks at laundromats, Britains liberal policies let killers go free, Jesus ...

Please tell me more about the link between Jesus and human spngiform encephalitis.

Also, are photogenic American flags part of the standard kit for pilots? Do they help the seal team locate them? There he was, alone on the mountain, but his American flag and rugged John Wayne-esque patriotism sustained him and helped the rescuers find him. Which just proves that people are leaving the blue states because of killer drug-addled teenagers.

And it's all those evil Chinese / Europeans / Foreigners / Iranians.
Plus the Ivy league schools and Palestinians.
You need a saucepan.



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