WANDERING INTO THE PERVERT APARTMENTS

There are times when the gay young blade strolls into the darker side of town, down near the rail road tracks, where sailors and loose women throng, lurking in the shadows and shaking their curvaceous legs. "Come on, big boy" they whisper, "I've had my shots, I am no longer infectious". They reek of cheap perfume.

This blogger, as a pipe smoker, likes to read about old tobacco blends that were common at drugstores and establishments that also sold liquour, chewing gum, and notions. In addition to the cheap perfume favoured by sailors and loose women.

Things like 'Maple Pinstripe', 'Rum Floozy', and 'Prince of Welsh'. Vanilla, chocolate, caramel, and a faint hint of lavender to suggest refinement. On a base of heavy Cavendish-treated leaf and steamed and toasted burley, made milder and easier by that processing.


There's yellow crime tape stretching around that entire corner. A man in a cheap business suit smeared with lipstick is sitting with his back against the wall, mouth slightly open, drooling. His eyes look vacant. Like a stockbroker.

It is unclear whether the person who engaged him, provided certain key services, and took payment, was a nautical person or a beatnik chick. Smoking imported cigarettes. Drenched in cologne. The entire intersection reeks. Fermentive, alcohol based, intoxicating.

At present I am looking at a container with an old codger blend in the newest iteration of the blender's art. Decades ago Middleton, then already a division of R.J.Reynolds, acquired the rights to Royal Comfort and added it to their portfolio of offerings for the discerning smoker.
A few years later a match blend was created for the by then discontinued product. Then the vikings raped, pillaged, and conquered, leaving many elderly pipe smokers bereft, hunkered down and beaten in a blasted landscape, without the products that they had relied on for their humble joy since Noah landed the Ark. The match blend was no longer made.

In the past year, Arango purchased the name, and tasked another company which does not wish to take responsibility with duplicating it. A few days ago I bought a tin, having fondly recognized it as a renewed version of the corner-stone of existence.

It's a cloying "European style cavendish". Brown, black, and a touch of blonde Virginia. Extremely mild and smooth. Vanilla, chocolate, and perhaps a hint of caramel. I've smoked a few bowls with great enjoyment. Little tobacco flavour or punch, and the added perfumes do not particularly impact the taste when one smokes it. It is, in a word, the perfect tobacco for tormenting Hector when I work with him again, as I love his reaction when he notices what I'm doing. His little face scrunches up in anguish and he wails, heart-broken, "why are you doing this to me?!?" His misery is palpable, audible, operatic.
He hates aromatics. Passionately.
Delicious.

This is a product which many old codgers on the pipe forums missed. Several of them have said that the best way of starting the day was with a cup of black coffee and a pipe filled with Royal Comfort.

Like many aromatics it is overly moist, damned well drenched, there is a faint chemical whiff to it, and it should not be smoked by educated people. It appeals to risk-taking teenagers, wanton women, and ex-Marines, plus other dubious types. It may take me very little time to go through this tin, I'll probably have to order more in a month of two.
I look forward to torturing people.


Perhaps I should drink my coffee black like a psychopath.



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