It turned out that the word "cute" upset him. I had applied it to a young lady who had left, and he acted shocked. I mentioned that the fifteen year old daughter of an Indonesian restaurant owner years ago was cute, and that disturbed him. So as examples, I brought up Shirley Temple (cute), Taylor Swift (cute), Marilyn Monroe (cute), and the waitress at an Indian place who had breasts like ripe mangoes but was an awful vicious piece of work.
His preferred cigar was also 'cute'. But I did not say so.
He may now understand that 'cute' does not mean exactly what he thought it did. This was in the middle of a discussion about lutefisk (horribly not cute), surströmming (un-cuteness in a swollen can), and hákarl (the not-cute that exemplifies utter non-cuteness).
Sometimes conversations veer horribly sideways.
Bikini briefs and raw herring are also cute. Not in combination, though. Seperately.
Trust me, cute is not that. Small tobacco pipes look cute. Hello Kitty is cute. Hello Kitty's grandpa smoking a small tobacco pipe can also be considered cute. A young lady wearing Hello Kitty briefs while eating Dutch herring might likewise be very cute. Demented, but cute. Depending on the circumstances it could also be extremely disurbing -- whose sick fantasy is this anyway -- whereas Grandpa Anthony eating herring that Hello Kitty brought him, yes, definitely cute, but also mmm, well, no.
A cute Scandinavian woman consuming lutefisk, surströmming, or hákarl is weaponized cute turned into a horror show. And as good a reason to question life and the modern world as any. I'm not interested in whether she is wearing Hello Kitty bikini briefs or not. Is that all she's wearing? I still don't want to be in the same room. Under any circumstance.
Don't be surprised if I walk away softly moaning.
The Dutch, as you should know, are quite fond of herring, but consider what the Germans and Scandinavians do to it a crime against nature. Which is how we got onto the subject.
At the end of the thirteenth century, Willem Beukelszoon from Biervliet invented a process for dealing with herring that allowed boats to stay out much longer instead of heading back to port before darkness fell every day. That meant that better sailing vessels were designed, which allowed the Dutch to trade between the Baltic Sea and the Mediterranean during the offseason, and eventually outcompete damned well everybody else at the time. Commerce! Shipboard cannon! Armed merchantmen and company ships, attacks on the Spanish and the Portuguese, and the establishment of a mercantile empire. Further technological and scientific developments. Plus spices, coffee, tea, sugar, and cigars.
That improvement in fishing also meant that a larger population could be supported, and employed in industry rather than stuck on farms. The modern city was a direct result.
Our Scandinavian cousins, on the other hand, were perfectly happy sticking to exceedingly nasty variations of semi-controlled fish rot (lutefisk, surströmming, and hákarl, for example) and in consequence never amounted to much. Certainly a Scandinavian woman wearing nought but Hello Kitty Bikini Briefs might look darn cute, but the guaranteed presence in her vicinity of lutefisk, surströmming, or hákarl will keep civilized people away. Far away.
Later they came up with Abba. The music of lutefisk, surströmming, and hákarl.
That alone should tell you something.
The Padron 1964 Principe (4 1/2" x 46) is a small cigar, and compared to many other Padron vitolas extremely cute. If you wish to wear it garbed only in bikini briefs I shall not criticize. But please be aware that more clothing will prevent hot ashes hitting your bare skin.
So that's advised. Fully clothed while enjoying your smoke is best.
Even after a shower. I worry about you people.
Lutefisk, properly prepared, is slimy and gelatinous, and distinctly whiffs of seafoods ten days past their prime. It is considered a delicacy. It may still have bones.
Self doubts, and stern disapproval of other people.
Ingmar Bergman films.
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