IT'S CANADIAN!

At various points throughout the day holiday plans were discussed. "What are your plans for Thanksgiving?" people would brightly ask, and others would happily chirp about trips to the old family homestead, thirty or forty relatives all clustering together, aunt Agatha's famous parsnip soufflé, and needing to go outside to smoke. Which explains why no one goes to Minnesota or the Upper Peninsula for the holidays anymore. It's cold there. A cigar takes a good forty minutes of freezing your nethers off while Uncle Chadwick is comfortably inside watching the game and hooting for the team, cousin Joeboy is going back for seconds and thirds of the parsnips, and the sofa nearest the fire is filled with stuffed and snoring relatives.
Plus all the women folk have yelled "bye guys we're going shopping!" It's very cold.

Stationwagons, scarves, mufflers, woolen longjohns roaring off to the mall fifty miles away. The homestead is out in the countryside. No smoking in any of the vehicles.
You can sit on the tractor if you want.

Every year around this time pipesmokers go on the internet to write something along the lines of "can't smoke inside because of the wife and kids, heater in the garage on the fritz, and I can't feel my toes and finger tips anymore, how do you guys stand it?" The responses invariably run the gamut from "I'm a polar bear" to "I live in Hawaii". Along with one or two bastards who suggest divorce. And one guy saying "hey, your heater was busted last year, you've had ten months to have it repaired or get it replaced, what the heck is wrong with you?!?" I was the dude who mentioned Hawaii, by the way. I figured that he deserved it, and had no way of checking my location anyhow. I actually live in San Francisco where around the holidays we have typical SF summer weather. Freezing buggery rain. But he doesn't need to know that.

Among the pipes in my kit today were two Canadians. A Canadian has a long elegant oval shank and a spartan looking billiard bowl (tallish round). One smooth, Peterson Dublin and London. One a tan-coloured sandblast Savinelli DeLuxe.

Years ago I visited my uncle and aunt in Canada over the holidays. In Canada. Calgary. No smoking inside. So yes, no, I shan't be visiting any kinfolk during the season.
At least not until Global Warming is much better.

But whenever I smoke any of my Canadians, I'll think about it.

They are very nice Canadians.



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