THE LITTLE CHILDREN!

Several years ago a coworker had to organize a child safety seminar. So I posted a helpful list (see here: "safety" which may not have been precisely what he needed. But it still holds, the rules still apply. More than ever.

Friend of this blog Spiros commented "I have childproofed my house, and yet somehow the little buggers keep getting in." Which highlighted a recurring problem with children.


I have childproofed my house, and yet they keep getting in!


Cattleprods, roach spray, and a bug zapper were all mooted in the comment string.

The major problem with the little buggers usually being that they've drunk too much cappucino and want a kitten. Especially if left unattended.

I'm a doctor. I can say these things.

Children can be gainfully employed doing laundry and mining coal, for less than it costs you to hire a grown-up. They'll work long hours and also happily pick your agricultural crops as a school outing or outdoor adventure. And, because they're malleable and parts grow back, you need not pay workman's comp insurance.

Plus in many parts of the country they can be locally sourced.

Particularly in Kentucky and Tennessee.
As well as the Carolinas.
West Virginia.



As always, terms and conditions may apply.
Do not employ near heavy machinery.
Keep away from an open flame.
Check with your doctor.
Banana for scale.



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