STRAIN OUT THE NASTIES

A conversation with my apartment mate headed into left field. What I brought up was a coke snorting deviant. What we promptly veered into was orange vanilla Coca Cola, which tastes fabulous. They should make that with sugar. Real cane sugar. Caffeine, refined sugar, and nicotine keep the world turning. Plus fried chicken. What did they use before olive oil?
Lard. Refined lard. It's reusable, just strain out the nasties.
And by the way, yam is not a vegetable.

Without even paying attention I had lost any semblance of control over the discussion, and we ended up talking about food. This was after she had scarfed down cookies and I had eaten a piece of cake washed down with coffee.

How much pig fat do you need to fry a chicken?
Whole bucket loads of it?
Barrels?

Personally, I am not so much into fried chicken. But it's okay if y'all are. I understand that for the feminine gender there are times when y'all have to have a big bucket of fried chicken with ranch dressing or mashed potatoes and greasy gravy. Hormones. A glandular thing. It's the lining of the uterus. We men do not have uteri. And we would prefer pizza anyway.
But that's okay. Y'all do y'all.

Years ago there was a chiropractor who either drowned his sorrows with boxes of pizza or used it to hook up with someone equally desperate. I fondly imagined him waking up hungover with pizza smears all over his single room occupancy digs. A total vibe.
For some reason that place no longer does pizza. Just burgers now.

Their house wine has improved immensely, but the bar was low to begin with.
When there are dating couples there now, they're not that weird.
Hipper and crazier, sure, but not that weird.

You know, I've never considered an entire pizza as dating material. Maybe y'all should have apple pie instead? Perhaps go to an old fashioned diner and play footsie under the table. Please don't spill your coffee on each other. That's not sexy.


Sadly, none of the eateries in this city allow smoking on the premises anymore, and pizza has gotten stranger. Gluten-free cauliflower crust, chemically melty tofu cheese, with some kind of dark green leafy vegetable, and what the living heck is that?

What do you do when you feel like fried chicken?



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