HAPPY STORY!

There was a flash flood in Las Vegas because of the rains, soggifying the strip and prompting reports of missing people. From, would be my guess, worried relatives.

"Son, your overweight diabetic aunt with the mobility issues was plonked solid in front of a one-armed bandit when the flood hit. She refused to be dragged away, because she said she was sure she'd hit a winning streak any moment. We lost her. The spongy corpse is floating in a stormdrain now. But the good news is your alcoholic slovenly uncle survived, by holding onto a housewife from Iowa and using her as a flotation device, accidentally drowning her; her head was heavier than her fatty inner thighs."

And at this point, the turkey vulture went "yeah yeah yeah, tell me another HAPPY story like that". Sydney Fylbert, the cheerful turkey vulture, thinks that was the PERFECT bedtime story for all little kiddie buzzards. Fatty inner thighs! Yum!

So sweet. So nice. Such lovely!

A HAPPY TYKE

Turkey vultures are neurotic and high strung. More so when they're still toddlers, covered with fluff. When they start developing real feathers and can fly, they will soar endlessly over the freeway waiting for roadkill (the non-gambling population of Marin, crossing the 'street' recklessly while squiffy), which calms the tense little goofballs down.

Good thing too.



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