WHY, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!

Years ago a larger woman informed me that Grand Marnier made women drop their pants. It may have been a hint. I did not act upon it. But it does make me speculate about the effects of other liquors. And I have long believed that Scotch improves the mood, Bourbon makes men vicious, Tequila leads to bad craziness, wine sozzles, and gin bares breasts and loosens inhibitions for all genders.

Sherry, as is well-known, makes librarians take off their spectacles.
As well as loosen their hair, then modestly smile.


"Why, Miss Pendergast, you look beautiful!"


In all honesty, the imaginary Miss Pendergast would look totally fine with her hair in a pony tail and her glasses on. If she had worn a bit of ruby lipstick grown men would have melted while checking out the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. Which is why they brought a supermarket shopping cart to the fifth floor.

We can't have that. There aren't enough copies of that encyclopedia for all the men passed out from the exertion. Besides, I have not liberated a cart from Safeway, so I'm at a bit of a disadvantage myself.

At this time of year many libraries tend to be cold, so Miss Pendergast would probably prefer a nice cup of hot cocoa instead of the sherry. She probably has an electric teakettle hidden in her credenza, so that when no one is looking she can fortify the woman within. And maybe no lipstick, because those ruby smears are hard to remove from the porcelain rim.


It's been ages since I had sherry in the house, as I do not drink anymore; it might interact with my medication. There is a bottle of excellent Scotch on the floor next to my chair, unopened. But a small jigger of brandy might be better in the cocoa.
Sadly, there is none of that.

Intellectually, I am vested in sherry.
Shopping carts not so much.



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