Thursday, December 15, 2022

ANGRY NAKED WOMEN WITH MACHETES

Idea for a reality teevee show: Angry naked women with machetes. First episode: a Republican fund-raising dinner. This thing will pretty much write itself after that. Just take all the Gidget movies AND the Charlie's Angels episodes, and substitute Angry Naked Women With Machetes. Get Steven King to write it. Christmas fun for the entire family.

I've been avoiding seasonal music. Sadly, this also means that I have not yet heard Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah', which shows up in a lot of holiday music lists by mistake (the name suggests it's, errm, religious), one of the best songs about coldly unpleasant sexual intercourse ever, and given the smarm quotient, sensible people will do likewise.

Nothing is more excrutiating than little children singing Jingle Bells.


Oh wait, I forgot about Mariah Carey.


If "All I Want For Christmas Is You" isn't a good enough reason for angry naked women with machetes wreaking havoc in a crowded shopping mall, I don't know what is, and nothing is sacred anymore.
There's a rusty mockup of a reindeer where I work.
It sparkles with the promise of tetanus.
Seasonally appropriate.



AFTER THOUGHT

Why isn't 'The Wreck Of The Old 97' a Christmas song? It's got memorable and easy to remember lyrics, it's cheerful, inspiring even, and it has that ding dang ding dang dirdle doodle ding ding ding sound going for it that people love in their seasonal music.



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