Saturday, February 19, 2022

FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?

My apartment building is profoundly boring. From the front steps, when I walk outside to enjoy my pipe, I can see my neighbors across the street. Three party girls and a naked guy. No, they don't live in the same digs, "four is company" or anything like that, and I don't think they actually know each other. Two different apartments. The naked guy is on the bottom floor of his building. One of the previous occupants of that place was the sad droopy person who had shoved her bed up against the window and just looked out on the street from her pillow during the first months of the pandemic. I don't know what happened to her. The naked guy is the fourth or fifth resident since she left.

Nobody in my building is naked. That is to say, I'm sure all or most of us have been naked, probably in the last forty eight hours, but I've never seen them in that condition.

I myself have been naked at least twice in the last twenty four hours.

You'll have to imagine it; no illustration will be provided.

I'm white and not overly fuzzy, if that helps.



Male nudity does not improve the smoking of a pipe. Just like female nudity it distracts, though differently. I know I suggested to the honourable members of the pipe club years ago that they should all take part in Bay To Breakers -- San Francisco's rolling seasonal nude anarchy thing, a foot race -- but they'd have a hard time keeping their briars lit the entire course.
I myself would cheer them on, in spirit, seeing as I have resolved to stay far away from running events for the rest of my life. I have no need to see jiggly bits.


Once or twice I have smoked a pipe while nude myself, but entirely without an audience. It was a warm day. Or I might have been enjoying a cup of tea and a murder mystery in the tub.

It might have even been this pipe.
It's a wonderful smoker when nude.

Quite recently, it was absolutely divine with some aged red flake in it, mmmm, heavenly!
If you, dear reader, wish to enjoy nudity while I smoke a pipe, go right ahead.
I recommend a bath, with a pot of tea and a good book.
Twiddle your silken toes in the sudsy water.
I'll imagine what it's like.

Imagine me imagining you.



TOBACCO INDEX


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