Wednesday, September 22, 2021

PRETEND TO BE SHORT?

The fog is back huzzah thank heavens! On the down side, it's Hobbit Day today, and here in the Bay Area that may mean a plague. Imagine the combination of cutesy-poo Tolkienesque with woke, Vegan, and non-binary. Plus second breakfast.

This blogger does not do first breakfast, vastly preferring existential gloom as the appropriate accompaniment to coffee, so second breakfast would, in my world, be the evening snacks after a late lunch as first breakfast. Third breakfast is a cookie or two, long after dark. And, though a pipesmoker, I eschew Hobbits Weed (two horrid vanilla cavendish tobaccos mixed with cherry cavendish) and Old Toby (a strain of marijuana favoured by deadheads and deadbeats).

Honestly, I have no idea how "Hobbit Day" is celebrated.

Tofu and runic script tattoos?
One of my friends, a proud independent Amazon witch warrior woman, is probably giddy and quite unbearable today, but I haven't seen her since the toy company nearly a decade ago, so it's unlikely I'll be faced with that. A friend on the East Coast with piercings and a bandana is also celebrating. Again, not likely to encounter. And he might be a Vegan.


Do Hobbits even drink coffee?


I'm on my second cup right now. Magic beans. Hobbits start the day with ale and mead. Their life expectancy is commensurately low. Industrial and traffic accidents take out a large number of them. Gandalf himself died in his late twenties, probably from several preventable diseases. Their handle on reality is negligible. They spend most of their time out of it.
Poxy little cretins. Gollum for president!


I never really got into the Lord Of The Rings phenomenon. Nor do I think of Tolkien as some stellar genius or wizard. This puts me at odds with several dear friends, whose emotional development and intelligence is sometimes questionable.




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