It is with gladness that I realize, belatedly, that for some people I would have been a horrible parent. Little White Nipple Guy, for instance, who in over four decades on this planet has not yet become a mature adult. Nearly five decades.
Inner monologue:
"You sad little crud, stop being a creepy snotball, and please understand that the ONLY reason your parents still feed you and haven't put you outside for recycling is that they realize that there's still useful protein on your bones. Other than that, you are quite staggeringly worthless."
No, I did not say that out loud to the pathetic dripwad.
And despite my inner speech, I actually like him.
As one would a laboratory fungus.
In a petri dish.
I do not know if both of his parents are still among us. Had they chastised him more effectively before his teenage years, things might have been different. Alas, they failed.
Their one and only lacks backbone and intellect.
I am, at times, a remarkably patient man.
And diplomatic too. Damn.
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