TRIBAL ELDERS' SAGE WORDS

As John was leaving, he gave me some advice. Now, being a polite sort of fellow, and always keen to learn about life, especially as other people see it, I attended to his words with avid interest. But I suspect I may have been listening for a bark up the wrong tree.


"Always wait to pass gas till you exit. So people will be sad to see you go."

"And then you won't have to hang around in your own low-lying cloud."


Shutting the door behind him, he remarked "it's denser when you get older; drifts less."

It's safe to say he had the final word on this. He's in his eighties, and obviously has given it much thought. When I am his age, I shall try to think of other things. Not to say he wasn't original, but his digestive rumbling may be of importance to him alone.


Evenso, I may put his words to a practical test. Several tests. Have to establish a pattern, to see if his observation holds. This may require a change of diet. I wonder what he eats.


Years ago one of the regulars at a nearby establishment had a dog that seemed to subsist entirely on cabbage. A delightful animal, great friendly shaggy personality, and unfortunately silent but deadly. We eventually modified our schedules so that we could have chats that wouldn't be interrupted by weapons of mass destruction, given that the ventilation there was insufficient to the task. I doubt that he himself ever noticed, because though mostly likable, he really was an insensitive sort of chap, in very many ways.

And also given to sage pronouncements.


Word of warning for anyone reading this: be selective of the old farts you listen to; some of them blather. Or worse. Giving advice to the young is an art.


Oh, and don't eat too much cabbage.
Or feed it to your dog.



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