COPING WITH THE WILD LIFE

Having fixed myself something odd to eat, inspired largely by Hong Kong, Singapore, and Lombardy -- blaming all of them, because they all had a daemonic part to play in the result, which was "edible" -- I wrested a prize possession back from the turkey vulture, and prepared for digestive tumult. Fortunately the meal was small, only snack-sized.
Curry and Sriracha pork scraps over egg noodles.
Sort of spaghetti carbonara but not.
With hard Dutch cheese.
Melted over.

I could also have blamed the United States, seeing as in some ways it resembled macaroni and cheese. But the "pasta" was infinitely better, as was the cheese, and I doubt that any of the vast interior Americans would have eaten it. Hong Kongers might; "this is chachanteng chow, gringo". Italians also; "what strange things you Americans do with food, you should learn how to cook sometime". And the Singaporeans; "it's not spicy enough, and the cheese is giving me gas, you should have added durian instead".

The turkey vulture had seized one of my pipes, a Charatan I've had since my school days, and claimed that as he had 'found' it, it was now his. Along with the magic bowl of quarters (laundry money) and my computer.

He didn't know what it was. Perhaps a club for harp seals.
Surely harp seals are small and meatball shaped?
Kind of like little girl hamsters.

I needed to talk a walk with a pipe and some Astley's No. 109 Flake. My stomach had to settle. After that, a cup of tea, and then off to bed. No, that's NOT for harp seals.
Which are only edible if you're Canadian.

Harp seals are probably fundamental to cuisine up there.
Just like processed cheese and bacon in the U.S.
Goes with or on everything.

Hot sauce on everything, and a pipe afterwards.
That's the ticket.

TOBACCO INDEX


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