THIS IS YOUR GRANDMA'S PIPE

What I need is a pet skunk. Not only are they lovable and inquisitive fur balls, but a skunk on a leash would ensure social distancing in a city where so many individuals do not understand face masks during a pandemic. Chinese Americans understand it, as do most of the other minority Americans. The white people in my neighborhood who are between their teens and their early forties damned well don't.

Even swinging a blackthorn walking stick in a threatening manner, while outside strolling and smoking a pipe, does not give them the hint.

The twitter generation is dense, and possibly stupid.

Barring a frisky emotional support skunk, smoking Latakia-rich tobaccos and talking to myself like a demented person might do the trick.

Or smoking at three in the morning, as happened last night. There are no people about at that hour nowadays, because pizza places close down at eight except for the delivery options, and I have no clue when they shut, because I never order from them. At any hour.
I know they still deliver at ten, because one building across the street seemingly lives on to-go food.

Young white people can't cook -- who knew?

One enjoyable facet of the normal early morning walk with pipe at just before eight is that most of the people about on the street are few. And Cantonese speakers. With masks. Elderly. Ten feet or more distant.

Consequently I am a pleasanter person then.


你食咗飯未？
['nei sik-jo faan mei']
"Have you eaten yet?" (used in greeting)

Good morning (早晨 'jou san'; 早安 'jou on'; 早上好 'jou sueng hou'), how are you (你好 'nei hou'), getting some exercise eh? (晨練吓咩 'san lin haa me'; 體能活動吓 'tai nang wut tung haa'). Lovely weather today (今日好天氣 'kam yat hou tin hei'). Take care of yourself (你自己保重 'nei ji kei pou jung').


The elderly Italian woman is an exception, as one must speak to her in English. She's been here for fifty four years, since she was 24.
I doubt that she speaks Cantonese.



By the way: because I picked up some food stuffs while over in Chinatown yesterday, I know NOW that attempting to scarf down a cold glutinous rice ball with filling (糯米包 'no mai baau') in one fell swoop, as a mid-morning snack, is NOT a good idea. Should have heated it up in the microwave first (叮熱佢先 'ding yit keui sin').



AFTER WORD

The lovely pipe pictured above was something I cleaned up a few years ago, as detailed more or less in this post: pipe restoration essay.
Everyone of the briars mentioned smokes excellently.
But at one point they were all lost causes.
Please keep your pipes clean.
唔該擦净你嘅煙斗！

TOBACCO INDEX


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