AUBURN. NEBRASKA. LONELINESS.

A sixty six year old righteous Christian woman who lives in Auburn, Nebraska, has filed a lawsuit against the gays. All of them. Worldwide.
As of May first. So far no summons have been issued.

I've read her six page handwritten complaint.


There's not much going on in Auburn.

She is a very lonely woman with too much time on her hands. Nebraska is a very cold and empty place, when you are that old, and the plow too heavy to pull, no water in the well, the pig died, and your children no longer send messages by Pony Express from the civilized world. This should put Nehama County (population roughly seven thousand) on the map, and will probably double the tourist trade!

And pay for new hitching posts down Main Street!

There is a Chinese restaurant in Auburn, and they do have chopsticks there. There is also a Pizza Hut, and a "gourmet burgers" joint.

Unfortunately all the hotel accommodations are over eighteen miles from downtown Auburn, but I'm sure I can rent a haycart or buggy during the off season (eleven plus months of the year).

There is also a real tobacco shop (Nickleby's) in Omaha (sixty miles distant from Auburn), close to Krispy Kreme (one block over), so you won't be desperate for cigars.

I know more about Auburn now than when I woke up, and I am keenly looking forward to visiting sometime!

Auburn. It's in Nebraska.

We *love* Auburn.

Like Kansas.




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