TEA IN BRITAIN

The Brits, as everyone knows, are peculiar. No more so than in their appreciation for tea. They founded an empire and despoiled the world to make sure they got some, their tea-swilling starts before dawn and ends long after dark. It's probably what makes life in a wet grey island bearable, especially as their food is downright unbelievable.

Because I drink an awful lot of tea myself, I can sort of understand what they're going through. I too am swacked to the gills by the time the sun breaks through the fog, never far from a cup for the next several hours, and will often prolong the day long past twilight with another spot.
Or several more cups.


I usually drink tea in three forms.

1) Black tea, plain and strong, without sugar or milk.
2) Chinese restaurant tea, which is often a mix of jasmine tea (香片 'heung pin'), cheap grades of Oolong (烏龍), and either Suisien (水仙茶 'seui sin chaa') or Pu Erh (普洱茶 'pou nei chaa').
3) Hong Kong style milk tea; a strong tannic brew modulated with sweetened condensed milk.

[港式奶茶 ('gong sik naai cha'): Hong Kong style milk-tea. Also called silk stocking tea (絲襪奶茶 'si mat naai cha'), because the cloth straining bag traditionally used ends up looking like an old lady's belabbered pantyhose, all droopy and draggy, and quite obscene. The Cantonese are known for calling a spade a spade. The tea leaves used for this product often combine strong Indian or Ceylon with a soupcon of lychee black tea (荔枝紅茶 'lei ji hong chaa') for fragrance, as well as keemun (祁門紅茶 'kei mun hong chaa') or Pu Erh (普洱). It should be heung heung gwat gwat (香香滑滑). Lapsang souchong (拉山小種) is not suitable, as it is too smoky.]


English people, however, do it differently.
There are TWO accepted methods for making tea in England.

The preferred method is dumping a large teabag in a mug, inundating it with boiling water, then splashing in some milk. This is what people do when they're in a hurry and want to jones-up pdq.
Add two lumps of sugar; sheer heaven.
Almost like it's a sunny day.

[Yorkshire tea, by Taylors of Harrogate, is excellent for this purpose.]

The second method involves a large porcelain teapot, often flowery, with a heaping spoonful of tea leaves for each cup it holds as well as one extra (for the pot). Crucially, the pot must be warmed up first. My father would place it upside-down on top of the kettle in lieu of a lid, whereas I simply rinse it out with boiling water before adding the leaves.
Always bring the pot to the kettle. Always.
Never the other way around.
Which is heresy.

[Suitable brands, if you cannot find a selection of loose-leaf black in your town, would be Twinings, available everywhere there's a Safeway or a Piggly Wiggly, and Typhoo.]


The true British peculiarity is not the tea. It's what they serve with it.

No, not ridiculous little finger sandwiches, sliced cake, or scones with clotted cream and fruit preserves; those are all fine, especially the hot scones. Easy to understand and love.

Bread. And either butter, OR jam. Not both. Never both. Having both is heresy, and will be punished by stern looks of disapproval.

Being a Yank, I am of course thoroughly used to stern looks of disapproval, as that is the preferred method whereby the world communicates with my kind. It does not bother me.
I shall have both butter AND jam.
If I choose.

I'm actually rather fond of buttered toast and Oxford marmalade.


AFTER WORD

Masala chai, made with green cardamom, fennel, and ginger, is also a noteworthy variation. But seeing as both the owner and the frightful Dravidian she-camel who worked there of the long since defunct Indian restaurant where I was the weekend cashier for over a decade both agreed that as a Gaura I didn't know beans about tea (vociferously!),
I have a bit of a mental block about it.
It's all right, I suppose.

American interpretations of chai, made at places like Starbucks or similar coffee joints, are not worth drinking.



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