Sunday, February 15, 2015

I'LL HAVE TWO OF THOSE, PLEASE

One of the things that baffles many women about men is the almost infantile obsession with breasts. Ask any man to describe the ideal woman, and fully one page or more will go into great detail about mammaries or brassieres, usually both. There will be NO spelling errors, as he was most completely alive while concentrating on the subject. He gave it all of his attention, and his intellect was running at peak.
Unless he's gay, in which case he might not know what he's missing.

Women are not so concerned about breasts.
They're just rather pleased they have them, because it gives their men something to talk about other than sports on the telly.

[Not being into sports in any way at all, you might think that I would discuss breasts without ceasing, but that would be quite incorrect. Often my deepest thoughts are about food -- something which is within reach, and achievable -- rather than the frontal parts of the female of the species. Obsessing about breasts might get me arrested, so I usually just ignore them entirely. I could start collecting brassieres, but that would be perverse.]

Men are, at heart, rather simple souls.

Which is why this clip is so funny.


MIND MY DOG?

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW8yXL6Ttgo.]

Somehow, it spoke to me.

If I had a dog and had to go to America for a year, I should also like someone to take care of the beast. Because, of course, one cannot ship one's dog to the States. Dogs aren't very smart, so by the time it got used to American accents and its bark was intelligible over there, it would be time to go back.
Really, it would be frightfully confusing.
No dog deserves that.



Please note that neither breasts nor men were harmed in the production of the video above. Breasts are more easily damaged than men, but men have egos which sometimes bruise.
Seeing as men and breasts often go together (ideally), this can be a problem.
Men aren't concerned about other men's egos.
But they'll worry about breasts.
All breasts.



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