WHISKY IS GOOD FOR SOME THINGS

Yes, she's seeing Wheelie Boy again. 
Despite the heartbreak he caused her.
It's her life, and she's in love. Probably for the first time ever.
The past two years have been queer.
She's happy.

Whenever she's on the phone with him she looks radiant. It makes me wonder what really happened during the twenty one years that we were together. I have never seen her act this way, and she has never been so giddy. It's a surprise.
I wish I had seen it when we were an item.
I was in love with her then, but I know now that she did not feel the same, or so intensely.

I do not want her back, nor would I ever try to win her heart again.
She was not at all like that when we were lovers, and it will always remain impossible for her to be as delirious with me as she is with him.
I grasp that, and I've gotten over it.
Now that I see what she feels, it could not be the same between us.
We can't be a couple again. Everything is different.
And we are not that kind of people.
What's over, is over.

Even if - when - she breaks up with Wheelie Boy again, I shan't take advantage of the situation. Both because of my own pride as well as my respect for her.
She wasn't anywhere near as passionate about me as she is for Wheelie Boy, and she will not feel that way about me in the future.
I doubt now that she ever even understood what I felt.
She inspired me, but I didn't inspire her.

We didn't mature at the same rate either. I had to be an adult earlier than was normal, she was always a little less grown up than her age.
The other day while I was waiting at the bus stop I saw her head down the street to get a snack at the store. She looked then as she has always looked - like someone you just want to protect.
Vulnerable, fragile, innocent.
She seems so very young.


I loved her very much for over two decades. 
But she probably considered me more a companion than a soulmate. 
We are still friends. We'll always be friends.
Wheelie Boy is her first real love.




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