Wednesday, October 24, 2012

THE SOUND OF DISHWATER

Most people are likeable enough that humankind is in no danger of dying out.
Unfortunately, that means huge amounts of dullness.
The majority are not very interesting.

This was made especially clear when I heard two women chatting recently over cocktails and smokes. I was left wondering what made them special, and why on earth they had "man" problems. They seemed perfectly standard in every way. Shoes, handbags, hair, fingernails. Real Housewives, Cooking with Rachel Ray, and the shopping channels.
Nothing objectionable, in other words.
If all goes according to plan, both of them will end up married to doctors or lawyers, who spend a lot of time watching sports when they are at home.
Extremely normal people.
Dullards.


LISTENING TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

Conversationally, most people are walking disaster zones.
Shopping as a subject for discussion is utterly stultifying, and an exchange about baseball of football puts the rational person to sleep. Watching any single one those three activities is as exciting as watching the slow rot of cattle carcasses or a fermenting compost heap.
But collectively, these account for ninety-nine percent of all intellectual activity.

Can we instead talk about why hamsters are perfect pets for dressing up in sailor costumes, or why you've named your favourite pillow 'Elizabeth'?
How about the time you pushed your cousin into the garbage can?
Do you think the kitchen is a romantic place?
Is apricot jam food for the gods?
Do you have two navels?
Show and tell.


Would you rather be a velociraptor or a ferret?


If you ask most people about their taste in music, books, and activities, the answers they provide will mostly not surprise, neither will their insights and opinions regarding those things.
By and large, people hew to familiar and predictable preferences.
Not that one really wants to interact with peculiar folks.
But it's nice to know individuals with quirky minds.
I probably know less than a score of such.


I need to find one more.




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