IF YOU'VE GOT A MOMENT, AND AREN'T DOING ANYTHING ELSE, THEN PERHAPS

It was a query that occupied my mind all the way through my long luxurious soak, late breakfast at a noodle place, and half hour smoke on the bench in my favourite downtown alley till three thirty. A sentence that the more I though about it the more musical it became.  Quite intriguing.
After reading the news on the internet, my mind again returned to the phrase.
A happy and optimistic utterance.
One with charm and verve.
It speaks to me.


“MAY I SEE YOUR NIPPLES?”


I had discovered this sentence while going through my blog stats. Someone had looked for it, and thus found my blog. Typing in the precise question “may I see your nipples” brought a reader here.
What a fortuitous event! But surely this was only abstract curiosity, given that there cannot be an actual personal response to something posted so anonymously, addressed to no one.

“May I see your nipples?”

Consider the kind of individual who would use that phrase as his search criterion. I say ‘his’, because I am fairly certain that it must be a man. Only men have both the interest and the insane optimism that could even bring it into being.  Fondness for nipples is overwhelmingly a masculine preserve – with the exception of very young teenage girls comparing each other’s recent developments – and focuses almost entirely on the female appurtenances.
Male nipples are just not very interesting, they lack significant appeal.
The man asking about the nipples was expressing something.
I hope for his sake that it wasn't existential loneliness.

What prompts the uttering of such a request?

In addition to a rashly positive attitude?

It is an innocently erotic query. It suggests that there is both a reasonable chance of the desired viewing actually taking place, AND that the person to whom it was addressed is a very nice person.
Why so?
As far as the first postulation is concerned, one clearly would not ask to see the nipples if the response was likely to be unfavourable, which suggests that a certain amount of conversation and getting to know each other preceded the question, as well as kind feelings, and in any case developments agreeable to both parties. And as regards the second condition, why would anyone want to see the nipples of someone who is not nice?
What on earth would be the purpose of that?

I cannot imagine being interested enough in a young lady who was not in other ways praiseworthy that I would ask to see her nipples. It is quite doubtful that they would be worth it, even as an intellectual data set.
Yes, I am fascinated by such things, but if the person herself is not someone I really like, developments might ensue that would be problematic at a later date.
And it might suggest a closeness of soul that was not in fact there.
In a word: risky.


TEEVEE!

Slight sidetrack: If a broadcaster wanted to gain market share at the expense of all other television shows, it would be a jolly good idea to have a bright and chipper female college graduate who was nude from the navel up delivering brilliant commentary about sports while eating pizza.
I’m certain that 99% of American men would tune in faithfully, and watch avidly.
Their primary interest would not matter.
Nipples, pizza, and intelligent sports talk.
Trifecta.

“May I see your nipples?”

If I were to ask to see someone’s nipples, it would be because I genuinely wished to see them. That would only be the case if the person in question was someone whom I would like to know better and for a long time, a person of wit, charm, and personality. Reaching that stage happens after conversation and sharing interests, finding out more about her and what kind of person she is, and spending a lot of time with her.
In essence, a very nice person, and a situation of mutual regard.
I am not a patient man, I won’t spend much time with people who aren’t engaging.
Even among people with whom I get along very well, there are none whose nipples I wish to see.

The request to see the nipples is far better than a plea to smell her hair, or hold her hand. It suggests frank aesthetic appreciation, without the creepiness of other approaches.

But what kind of man fires that plea off into the internet?

What does such a man hope to achieve?

“May I see your nipples?”

Without a specific person in mind, asking for permission to see nipples is rather pointless. And if anyone does spontaneously offer to show her nipples, whether in response to so general and anonymous a request, OR quite at random, it is likely that neither the nipples nor the person are really that rewarding.
For instance, suppose I am walking down the street minding my own business and enjoying my pipe, when out of the blue a woman I have never seen before flashes her breasts at me.
What do I do?
If I turn around and hurry away (a logical reaction), she might chase me down the street waving the objectionable things.
If I comment on the dimension or appearance, that’s an ice-breaker which will lead to a conversation I really do not want any part of, ever.
If I choose to ignore the exhibition, she may vociferate fiercely.
As you can see, nipples at random are a problem.
One must fear anonymous nipples.

“May I see your nipples?”

The only circumstances in which that phrase can be voiced are warmly positive. The request expresses a level of comfort and interest, and one hopes that the other side is equally at ease and curious. Supportive, in any case.
This is not an inquiry mooted during stressful circumstances or unpleasant encounters.
If I ask that question, it will be a sincere sign of keen appreciation.
Positive endorsement, tribute to the person’s niceness.
I cannot think of anything more romantic.

“May I see your nipples?”

Not something to be asked lightly.



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